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elainegrey: Inspired by Grypping/gripping beast styles from Nordic cultures (Default)
Thursday, August 31st, 2017 12:44 pm
So one of my issues with journaling these days is much of what is on my mind can stand some research -- just a click away.

I've often declined to write about my feelings or thoughts about the news because i've not felt the time to develop any nuance. Storm sad. Murders sad. Politics bad. Politics mad. I certainly could stand to be more articulate, but the landscape of my discourse is either heady postmodern and existentialist queries to Christine or listening to my dad's lasted provocative plan that sounds horrible but has progressive ideals at its heart. I'm not sure i want or need that to change.

But my feelings and desires for this new phase in my life -- homeowner, more prominently daughter and sister, landscape restorer, remote employee -- those need more sorting. I don't want to dig past "it's fine" because what if it's not? Working at home is fine. (But what if the two days in the office introduced a focus to the three days at home when i was in CA?)(What if the commute gifted me with a type of down time i miss?) My new Quaker community is fine. (But it demands so little.... And what about the lack of waiting worship?)And so on.

So, i don't want to face certain types of "it's not fine."
elainegrey: Inspired by Grypping/gripping beast styles from Nordic cultures (Default)
Tuesday, June 13th, 2017 06:24 am

I recently read an article about the benefits of talking to yourself out loud. One interesting study result:
[Ethan Kross, a professor of psychology at the University of Michigan, and colleagues] found that when their subjects talked about themselves in the second or third person — for example, “You can do this” or “Jane can do this” instead of “I can do this” — not only did they feel less anxiety while performing, but their peers also rated their performances better. Mr. Kross said this was because of self-distancing: focusing on the self from the distanced perspective of a third person, even though that person is you.

In another study:
The study concluded that motivational self-talk worked best on tasks based on speed, strength and power, while instructional self-talk worked best with tasks that involved focus, strategy and technique. In the real world, this might translate to parallel parking, following a recipe or putting together an Ikea side table.

“My bet is that self-talk works best on problems where you’re trying to stay on task and there are possible distractions,” Mr. Lupyan said. “For tasks with a multistep sequence, talking to yourself out loud can help you keep out distractions and remind yourself where you are.”

I've been wondering about my journalling and one thing i have realized is that the need to "talk through" distressing things is much lower than it has been in the past -- along with a reticence to write in any detail about the elephants. I've started seeing a therapist to talk about the elephants, although i don't think we've actually made that a topic for a while. Self compassion and self care has been the topic of the past two sessions.

[At this point, i wandered away from writing.]

Apparently the self care is a bit tender with me. Christine gently pointed out to me i'd called myself "lazy" when i handed her a block of text


So.... perhaps i should be writing to myself in a self care way. (And, yeah, review time is at hand and i probably am avoiding thinking about that.)

attempt )