I know things are hectic right now, but the things you want for your mom speak to me. The fear of losing self-agency is so real, and something I was able to discuss with my own mother when she was ill, and I knew her wishes and was determined to help her even if it conflicted with the views of others. It's different with the cognitive/brain issues, though.

I am a poor listener/aural learner for I suppose psychological reasons? ADHD is involved with that, but active listening is something that I have to always be trying to do. I think I thought your listening was good because of being involved in Meeting, where folks really listen to each other? My ability to listen/process is much slower than my ability to read or speak.