Thanks - it was fascinating. There surely is a difference between a death of spouse and death of parent. Watching my Dad make choices he didn't make when my mom was around, i realized how many of his choices were shaped by her. I think his hobbies were oriented around things Mom understood and could share in; his going out dancing and considering a cruise is very different from what Mom would have been comfortable with. And then he's responsible for all of himself now -- he's buying brightly colored T-shirts, moving outside the choices mom made for him. It's not just the ache of grief, but also something missing in how one lives, it seems. And i see that in the This American Life story of the widower, too.