this might sound weird but I appreciate your introspective posts like this a lot
they help me with the things I've been struggling with these past few years especially reminding me I'm not the only one. Sometimes it gets really lonely even being married
I wish there was a different way or maybe a better way to define depressed the way you're feeling it too.
It's not classic depression, it's a funk that's hard to define and we need a better word for it!