not being in synch with one's partner is rough. Jeff and I have that issue too and it frustrates me especially with me being home all the time now, I completely understand that.

For me, I do lists. I even add to my list if I accomplish things not on my list of things to accomplish LOL
that replenishes me, the sense of accomplishment.
is it maybe just blocking out an hour a day/week to do something on your internal (or literal) wish list? Not things you have to do, those don't count.
not sure if that's any help, just spit balling.