elainegrey

This article http://science.nasa.gov/science-news/science-at-nasa/2010/20may_loststripe/ points out another area where an amateur scientist can make contributions. I love knowing the value of community observation in the same way i love knowing that there's poetry readings down town on Mondays. It's a possibility there if i ever carve the time and passion out for it.

VIsiting Heavens Above, to see if i have a chance to see the IIS tonight (rain later in the week), i find out about the new "spy plane" http://www.wired.com/dangerroom/2010/05/secret-space-plane-likely-an-orbiting-spy-not-a-bomber-report/ It passes over head on the 28th, magnitude 2.8. Another cheer for amateur observers, as the " plane has been found by the world-wide network of amateur satellite observers."

I am completely spoiled by the drought of past years: the rain on the forecast seems strange and unusual. We've had half an inch (at Moffett Field) this month. In 1997 there was 0.57" -- was that the El Nino year? No! in 1998, 8.57 inches:d May 4 1998 4 inches and May 3 1998 3.17 inches. Yow. (The hills get much more rain than Moffett during storms, so the high watershed gets filled quickly and then drains out to the bay.) Half an inch of rain for May seems completely normal over the longer term, but it is true that for the past four years we've not had more than a tenth of an inch. So, confirmed: i have been spoiled by the drought, this is normal weather.

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Yesterday was bright and beautiful, although the high was 62°. Not warm. Christine was recovering from a night of insomnia and i was living in my head. We ran a few errands: picked up See's candies for my grandfather's 93rd birthday and picked up Edward from the Mountain View vet we're using. My guestimate of the bill, from years of gold plated treatment in Los Altos, overshot by 50%. I nudged Christine that perhaps we should move all cat care to this slightly closer and much more affordable vet. She now trusts the vet and is ready to do so: YAY. We almost made five months without a vet bill.

So, Edward was bitten near the base of his tail, and has a drain for the abscessed wound. He's shaved there, which slightly overlaps the spot where the ringworm shaved area had mostly but not quite grown back. We're trying to keep him in the next four days. Fortunately he can't quite reach that part on his back, so we took the cone off. Staying in, i think, means eating kibble for diabetic cats instead of running off and commandeering Ms Merry's feeding station each morning. She's feeding the Gang of Orange Cats, which includes the semi-abandoned Marty, the adopted strays Edward and Luigi, and the prodigal longhair Franklin. Frankie, Marty, Luigi, and Eddie seem like the tough guy names they must use when making plans to whack lizards and mice, and when getting into fights that lead to abscesses.

Greycie Lou has renewed her indications that Edward is Not Welcome. However, she didn't seem to warm up to me for years, and i feed her. Bossy biscuits.

In the evening we took a walk to the post office and then to the grocery store. It was good to move and be out, if a tiny bit tiring. The days have gotten quite long, so the sun had not yet set when we got home.

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I'm not yet sure how i should spend today. I don't think i'm going to worship, but will join Friends for our continued discussion of the State of the Meeting. I don't want to be away from home for four hours or more. I need to do some care and feeding of some different responsibilities in preparation for yet another hectic week. I think i'll box up some more things from the bedroom in anticipation of the carpet cleaning. One thing that has caught my attention is a birthday gift for Christine that she picked out in September. I'd wrapped it subtly and put it in "my" corner.

I just reread the journal entries from around Christine's birthday: another week of visitors doing planning at work -- but we also saw a movie and a concert. So we did have a low key celebration. I'm reminded of my colleague retiring, and recognize that i had a lot of issues around that.

Ok, let me get some planning going: ( Read more... )

Yesterday i called a friend (JH) as i drove home who'd been on my and off and on for a bit. It was good to just chat and hear where she was. We talked a little bit about saying yes and no to requests, and she commented on how much i do for people.

It's hard for me to hear that, oddly, even as i recognize that conscious care for others (while putting my oxygen mask on first) is a value, a goal of mine. Part of my difficulty is due to the dysfunction of my mother: how she cares for others is a great deal of doing and making. Part of it is the messages i got as i grew up, messages i know are inaccurate, but stick with me nonetheless.

To talk about yeses and nos was a gift from JH to me (Thanks, if you're reading!) In my personal email that i was just able to get to as i drove home was one message from a meeting member working on the issue of the US's dependency on torture and cruel incarceration (read about the conditions of ICE facilities, this article just a random pick from google news). I had tried to put her off gently earlier -- that morning? I care, but i care about too much: this is not my calling. But wouldn't i be involved? Christine and i agree, no - no - no - no. Too much on my plate. I am making sure i have access to oxygen by saying no.

I'm feeling oddly lonely, and i think it's the seeming quiet of LJ. I can't tell if the seeming quiet is truly quiet or not. The temptation to go through my friends list and compare posting frequency now against last year against a couple years ago is tempting. There was always the awareness that the camaraderie could be an illusion: as a rare commenter and someone who rarely got comments, i never really knew if the folks whose entries i read and attended to were similarly holding me with similar regard. I've tried following some of the practices i saw others using, and i feel a little more clear about how likely it is that i'm heard.

The city sidewalk rush of Facebook is no match to the connections i felt in the salons of LJ-land.

Care Check-In( Read more... )

Madisonian.net has two interesting copyright posts today, but i can't bend my mind around them. I think they might make sense: i'm just not in a place where i can "get" the point. http://madisonian.net/?p=3976 and http://madisonian.net/2010/03/03/ive-always-liked-judge-newman/

I talked with Christine about the work email that got my Danger Danger! alarm going this morning. My boss did exaggerate in a way that lead me to believe a bigger communication problem was going on that was actually the case. Problematic. And thus the anger was unnecessary. Later in the day i was able to spill that anger over onto a a decision made about another project, in a situation where it's not my job. It's probably the right product decision: the project has had staffing resource issues from the beginning. None of this was good useful anger, but was annoying draining anger.

Here's a care check in, early:
( All New For the Molybdenum Year! )

So, this weekend my brother is here is the "Second Saturday" when trails are open at the Mare Island Preserve. The hike leaves at 9:30 from the Palmer's Hut. Yeah, i thought that was useful too. The "Plan Ahead" page suggests, "you may want to consider downloading our trail guide." I looked in vain for the map, but then found if i scrolled down past a great deal of "white" space there was the announcement, "Trail Guide morphs into colorfully painted guideposts." I have FINALLY FOUND the location of the Palmer's hut: "Plan on a hike taking place with various expert guides and U.S. Navy escort. Meet at the 'Palmer Hut' at the Visitor Center entrance through the gate at the south end of Railroad Ave."

I am further irritated by the fact that the Artifacts museum is open on the first and third full weekends of the month, not the second, but i have a suspicion there may be some conservation of volunteers going on, not a plot to annoy visitors.

I can't find where the hospital is, although a Flickr photo gives me hope that we too will find it.

* Mare Island Preserve http://www.mareislandpreserve.org/Visit/Plan_Ahead.html
* Vallejo Naval & Historical Museum http://www.vallejomuseum.org/index.html
* How long to find the address of the St Peter's Chapel? http://www.stpeterschapel.org/
* Mare Island Historic Park Foundation Artifacts Museum http://www.mareislandhpf.org/
* Hospital exists... http://www.flickr.com/photos/army_arch/460508269/


Care Check-In -- very brief notes( Read more... )

Wireless was cranky this morning: i eventually pulled out the long-used Airport Express and replaced it with another we had on hand (a gift to Christine's sister that she returned to us when she acquired a sweetie who could provide local tech support). Then I spent a long time mulling over management issues at work.

For my notes, Monday and Wednesday both began before five am, prepping for our visitors. I've gotten to bed early to reasonable these nights, so i'm not particularly sleep bereft. I know this week has sapped some of my resources but i actually feel *good*, not like i need to be a zombie to recover from the engagement. I can't help but think that certain things have helped, including

a) boosting vitamin D,
b) having hours in front of the bright light in the early morning,
c) the low level lethargy of the wheat reaction absent,
d) using both the proactive flovent and the reactive xopenex with the lingering asthma.

We also didn't push morning to night with the meetings. The weather isn't something i'd count as helping anything, but evening commutes managed to be easy and sane (holiday traffic Monday, leaving early Tuesday, leaving late Wednesday).

My hormonal cycles were clearly on hold as a change was due midweek last week, but it did not occur. I could feel the stress of work creating a sense of being physically on "Pause," creating a different and additional stress. Then this morning it's clear the stress of work has cleared and now my body can continue in it's normal routine. Yay?

It's possible i'm still coasting on the adrenaline, looking forward to an afternoon meeting with the team to debrief.

Care Check-In( Read more... )

[Friday writing] Argh, i've spent the morning cycling through "input," half-way starting an email to city council about development, avoiding some Difficult meeting emails. There are people of Freecycle who want things i have.

The past couple of evenings i've gotten to bed fairly early, so that's a win. The asthma from the bronchitis is tiring.

Having my sister journalling here has been interesting. We talk often, but not quite daily. She is journalling in a manner similar to how i do (working through things that are troubling), and as those things happen to be my parents, i'm getting more frequent updates on things that trouble me, that is, my mother overworking herself when she has pneumonia. Since she's the sibling in most proximity to our parents she probably carries too much worry about them: maybe this will help by letting me carry some.


Care Check-In ( New and Improved! Revised! )

Despite my strong sense of failure yesterday evening, i did reflect on the successes of the day: i had filed for my heath flex spending, i had contacted my doctor and made an allergist appointment, and i hadn't had any significant refined sugar. Monday and Tuesday, i indulged in candy, unintentionally trying to lift myself up, only to crash down. I don't know that the candy on Monday & Tuesday made the depression any worse, but it doesn't help.


Care Check-In( Read more... )

Care Check-In

This past week (plus) i've not had any high stress with work. The Project development team is on track and on time. Major bugs are being addressed with the Product. It's allowed me to take a sick day a week ago, take some vacation time on Wednesday (unplanned, i got distracted by thinking about membership in Friends), and for me to usually leave the office feeling a sense of "done." I hope that i can practice some discipline here: i feel like i have enough reservoir that i don't need to collapse to recover. This is so amazingly novel! Instead of having the adrenaline rush of pressure withdrawn and collapsing, i feel instead that i can continue to be motivated. It's great!

( Read more... )

Care Check-In
Have i been using those tools that i know make my life better? (Or that i'm experimenting with?)

Not exactly, as i've not been doing the little bits of question and response check in since ( for this) April 3. I haven't exactly set goals for the summer. Reading others' posts about their goals and progress is a little discomforting. I'm not sure why i haven't set my rough outline of goals in place, except to romanticize or rationalize it as a willingness to let go and let That Which Is transform me. Flow. And i quickly have layers of thought of, "Yes! You've spent so much time training and directing yourself, now let training react to the chaos of or reality and shift and adjust at the moment, trust the momentum that you've built up to stay on the right path!" and "You should be strictly following some system to Get Things Done -- my god, woman, right this moment do you realize how much you are failing to meet commitments and expectations!?!!"

Typing that voice out really lets me see it as the anxious, fearful, fail-ful voice it is.
( Read more... )