elainegrey (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
elainegrey) wrote2011-11-23 08:33 am
elainegrey) wrote2011-11-23 08:33 am
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Monday night, i took on switching from the phone with the broken screen to a new phone, as part of the preparation for travel after Thanksgiving. The Sprint representative was a little horrified at my number of contacts: my address book used to be where i kept details about everything, including websites. I didn't want him to spend the time switching that data over, as it's sync'ed with my laptop. What i wish they could sync over are all the applications and their settings.
The amount of effort it takes to restore the device does let me know just how much value i am getting out of my smart phone.
I wrapped up the move yesterday. The phone with the broken screen seems to be a reasonable backup device, so it's stashed away. It was not a fully functional phone when i got it: as a Sprint refurb the "G-sensor" was not quite right and one of the buttons did not light up. It is nice to have a functioning sky map application!
--==∞==--
Work has continued to have recovery efforts left over from the install: it's been very distracting. The good news is that i had a very reasonable chat with New Director yesterday. First, if he felt betrayed by my memo, he's not acting on it. I certainly talked about the failure to plan and prepare and asked him about the suggestion i made (regular meeting of a certain group of folks) to address the gap in the future. It seems by laying the facts out but not pointing at him, he can discuss it without getting defensive. He still can't own it, but it's good to find his defensive trigger sensitivity. Second, he recalled much of our previous meeting and issues and had follow-ups. I have this feeling of delight and hope ("Oh, look, a baby step!") that i am trying to foster, but i don't want to squash the part of me that is so wounded by the past six months plus the previous relationship.
This is not just a professional issue but a spiritual issue for me: i do believe people can change and grow, and it's possible that New Director is finally getting the support and staff he needs to do an adequate job. He's always come off as overwhelmed: there are finally some staffing changes happening to spread some of his responsibilities around. Can i forgive ,even though he's not taking ownership of his responsibilities for the wounding? Can i still take care of myself, protecting myself from his bad behaviors, while also acknowledging he may be changing and on the road to becoming a trustworthy colleague?
I think i can, but the trick of it needs to be in not willing it so, but in helping my wounded bits heal at the same time. It's not "forgive and forget:" I have to honor my wounds. But honoring those wounds doesn't mean demanding reparations or revenge: it means doing what is in my power to stop the wounding (so i will continue my slow exploration of leaving) and letting myself feel the discomfort and frustration. Is that it? Then time heals the wound?
The amount of effort it takes to restore the device does let me know just how much value i am getting out of my smart phone.
I wrapped up the move yesterday. The phone with the broken screen seems to be a reasonable backup device, so it's stashed away. It was not a fully functional phone when i got it: as a Sprint refurb the "G-sensor" was not quite right and one of the buttons did not light up. It is nice to have a functioning sky map application!
--==∞==--
Work has continued to have recovery efforts left over from the install: it's been very distracting. The good news is that i had a very reasonable chat with New Director yesterday. First, if he felt betrayed by my memo, he's not acting on it. I certainly talked about the failure to plan and prepare and asked him about the suggestion i made (regular meeting of a certain group of folks) to address the gap in the future. It seems by laying the facts out but not pointing at him, he can discuss it without getting defensive. He still can't own it, but it's good to find his defensive trigger sensitivity. Second, he recalled much of our previous meeting and issues and had follow-ups. I have this feeling of delight and hope ("Oh, look, a baby step!") that i am trying to foster, but i don't want to squash the part of me that is so wounded by the past six months plus the previous relationship.
This is not just a professional issue but a spiritual issue for me: i do believe people can change and grow, and it's possible that New Director is finally getting the support and staff he needs to do an adequate job. He's always come off as overwhelmed: there are finally some staffing changes happening to spread some of his responsibilities around. Can i forgive ,even though he's not taking ownership of his responsibilities for the wounding? Can i still take care of myself, protecting myself from his bad behaviors, while also acknowledging he may be changing and on the road to becoming a trustworthy colleague?
I think i can, but the trick of it needs to be in not willing it so, but in helping my wounded bits heal at the same time. It's not "forgive and forget:" I have to honor my wounds. But honoring those wounds doesn't mean demanding reparations or revenge: it means doing what is in my power to stop the wounding (so i will continue my slow exploration of leaving) and letting myself feel the discomfort and frustration. Is that it? Then time heals the wound?