elainegrey (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
elainegrey) wrote2012-11-02 05:53 am
elainegrey) wrote2012-11-02 05:53 am
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I've two different visions swimming in my self image:
One is that i am burnt out. No matter how much i Will to do work + housework + Meetingwork + engaging in community, when i get home from work, i just sit in front of simple entertainment.
The other is that my vision of what i would look like thriving is actually an impossibility. By looking at that vision (the one i compare myself to and declare myself burnt out), i am missing a real look at myself.
My sister has declared me "zen master" for my calmness in the face of work stuff. It was hard to hear yesterday because what i was feeling was my ineffectiveness in pulling my division into the behavior expected by the corporate community. The dysfunction, the us and them dynamic, drives me nuts. I can't change my division.
I continue to rest hope in the promised leadership change, the re-promised change after the short lived appointment of the president brought us back to the president who wants to retire.
One is that i am burnt out. No matter how much i Will to do work + housework + Meetingwork + engaging in community, when i get home from work, i just sit in front of simple entertainment.
The other is that my vision of what i would look like thriving is actually an impossibility. By looking at that vision (the one i compare myself to and declare myself burnt out), i am missing a real look at myself.
My sister has declared me "zen master" for my calmness in the face of work stuff. It was hard to hear yesterday because what i was feeling was my ineffectiveness in pulling my division into the behavior expected by the corporate community. The dysfunction, the us and them dynamic, drives me nuts. I can't change my division.
I continue to rest hope in the promised leadership change, the re-promised change after the short lived appointment of the president brought us back to the president who wants to retire.
no subject