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elainegrey) wrote2024-06-01 03:17 pm
Update to others (f&f)
Mom died two years ago today. I sat with Dad in the parking lot of the hospice and listened to him and helped hone memories. (We were trying to remember where my maternal grandparents were living around 1971.) He was reflecting, as is familiar, on his turbulent relationship with my mother. He never understood how much appearances and propriety mattered to my anxious mother, and she never took responsibility for her own feelings and blamed him for everything. But he loved her so, which i never quite understood. I think he feels guilty that the years after her first major stroke were so special, but it was so amazing how the stroke stripped away much of the anxiety/trauma/anger/whatever-it-was-that-tortured-her. I only tear up when i think about how much smiling at dad she did after the stroke, and wonder what it would have been like to have had a mother free of distress. (Well, to have had a parents who parented.) My brother and sister were also missing mom this morning. I am glad Christine recognized that my not missing her is hard in its own way.
Christine is back at the hospital with her brother in law B to give her sister a break. V-tach last night sent them to Chapel Hill's ER. Apparently he'll be discharged to "go home" so he can actually get back over to Duke's hospital .. Monday? Not clear.
I'm wondering if i have enough stats background to take on learning about "Statistical Learning with Python." I've decided i am NOT going to literally take the course, but work through the labs. If i can do that, then i could take the course, paid, for a certification. But just getting through the labs will be a thing. On the other hand, i am learning about indexing/slicing/masking that i flail at whenever i am poking at data, so this is hopefully a win. And last weekend's work with tech skills means i have a very tidy work environment set up.
I wrote this update for some friends in California and thought i would share here.
I know you are likely to meet later in the month, but i thought i'd share a digital update now. Christine is composing music for my eclipse video... someday i will be able to share (everyone will have forgotten by then). I did see the aurora here, and i had a nice visit from P--.
I've seen my niece E-- in a few plays. My sister has started a youth theater in the area after the spectacular implosion of the previous youth theater. The kids wanted Serious Topics (not another Disney musical) so they've performed The Yellow Boat. My brother's eldest visited a week ago while between terms at his marine science college in Tampa. He seems far more interested in catching, cooking, and eating fish than in ... i dunno, studying behavior? My nephew W--- is graduating next week and will be going to NYU for jazz guitar in the fall. My brother's family is visiting next week before he takes his middle child, D---, to the Navy Academy for a week of experiencing what that would be like instead of college. I'm looking forward to taking the youngest of my niblings to the zoo.
And then it will be back to a very quiet work and garden life for me. I'm not growing veg this year because i want to focus a little more on establishing the native perennials i've bought -- which means rescuing them from the weeds that have bounded up. At some point i'll get caught up with my critter cams https://vimeo.com/showcase/10884374 but a recent clip of a deer is accompanied by insect song at night, https://vimeo.com/952286611?share=copy woodpecker, crows, and other birds in the morning snippet.
Christine is caught up with a streaming radio station she acquired. It was mainly local alternative rock, but she's adding blues and jazz on weekend, and ambient late nights -- not so late for y'all: https://live365.com/station/WNXC-DB--Radio-Free-Raleigh-a49915
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I need a nibing
*hugs*
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nibling : sibling :: niece : sister :: nephew : brother
Christine was grouching that the Washington Post had the paradoxical statement that "the once in a generation aurora sightings may repeat in two weeks" -- but for me that news for celebration. https://spaceweather.com/ says June 4th might have a significant storm.
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and they'd have to be Bonus Niblings here, neither of my sibs have urchins unless we're counting the four legged furry type
Grandkids is something I probably won't be part of either and that one hurts a bit =(
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Good luck with the stats labs! Yay for learning things you need around slicing data.
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And responses to death, also mysterious, typically in different ways. I divorced my mother in 1992. When my brother told me that our mother was dying I did wonder if I'd go odd: people do. But I drew lucky. It turned out that the relationship ws as resolved for me as I thought it was.
Thinking of you on your process, and your family members.