elainegrey: Inspired by Grypping/gripping beast styles from Nordic cultures (Default)
Monday, May 26th, 2025 07:05 am

Written Sunday morning:

I think i am a little numb.

Thursday afternoon i started frogging (ripping apart) a sweater i had crocheted years ago. Ravelry says i started October 27, 2007 and completed March 15, 2015. I never wore it, and it was bulky and taking space in the closet. It took hours ... about one for each year i worked on it, ha! ... to pull it all apart. I wasn't quite done by midnight, listening to an audio book as i did the mindless work.

I took Friday off, brain dead. I had breakfast with my sister, then mostly went back to yarn stuff. We brought home Edward's ashes, and Christine  and i discussed some things i could make with the forest green suede yarn. She wants a toque, and i could make Yuletide gift bags.  I started on the bags, which i can make without a pattern. I continued the sitting around yesterday. I also finally mended a shirt of Christine's with a variety of visible mending and embroidery. I hope it remains comfortable: the fabric was very worn and fragile, and the  applique patches i made were from a bulky yarn.

I am fascinated by what is coming back to me with crochet and what seems fuzzy

Late Friday night Christine heard from her sister D-- that B-- has declined more. He has a heart pump, and it alarms with low flow - which is what is happening as he dies. So it sounds like they have this challenge of when to turn it off, which will be the choice that it is time to die. "Most patients died within an hour of LVAD deactivation, and all within 26 hours." How much harder? easier?

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Monday, May 19th, 2025 07:06 am

We said goodbye to Edward around 12:20 yesterday, a month and a few hours after saying goodbye to Luigi.  There was a cloud that was rainbow colored in the sky, a nacreous cloud (except May?! and 35° latitude?!) that greeted us as we reached the vet, that offered a bit of marvel to go with the grief.

First photo of EdwardRecent image of them both snoozing

The medication to allow Edward to breathe more easily failed and the prognosis became even more complicated. No prognosis had him leaving the cage where he was receiving supplemental oxygen, so we said good bye to him there.

We're shattered, and i have so much at work to focus on the next few days. A week and a half before i can safely see my dad.... No spots, so we're thankful for that. (I think Christine worries the stress of waking to Luigi's condition triggered the last flare of my condition.)

--== ∞ ==--

Meanwhile, B-- (Christine's sister's husband) is now using supplemental oxygen.  D-- and B-- lost their two grey cats Atty and Scout to some seizure condition in late 2024 and this spring. We know additional grief is on the horizon.

So we will go through the change in our lives because forward through time is the only way i know.

--== ∞ ==--

I'd started working in the yard just before, the vet called. And then while Christine showered before we went to the vet, i put a few plants in the ground in the yesterday:

Better boy buried deeply in the eastern side of the back of the circle garden; a bigger Early girl to the west, and between them a "Sweet banana" pepper and a sweet basil. Last year a Matt's wild cherry tomato swarmed that whole area. I would have expected seedlings but maybe the winter weeds then pinestraw mulch was too thick.

Carmen (Red Italian frying pepper) east most, and the second of the four "Sweet banana" peppers in the east middle bed; the last two  "Sweet banana" peppers in the west middle bed, and one between the two tomatoes.

The Thai basil in the east front bed  close to the peony where sage thrived before.

I also pulled some seeds out from my collection - Zinna, marigold, sunflowers. I have struggled to grow sunflowers here but will try again, i guess. I mixed a bunch of collected marigold seed heads in the soil near the tomatoes - who knows when i collected those.  I should probably soak some of the hyacinth beans and plant them so when all the poppies die back i have something to replace them.  It failed last time i tried but i will try again. If i get my seedling kit going soon, i should start some more basil.

I'm leaning towards planting the  rosemary where i had it before but i don't know why that big plant died last year. I suspect humidity from all the stilt grass and Bears foot (Smallanthus uvedalia), then drought. But i wonder if the Smallanthus uvedalia had anything to do with it beyond the shade and captured humidity.

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Saturday, May 17th, 2025 12:49 pm

After a winter with so many cold spells, i doubted the return of many zone 8 plants and a  zone 9 plant. But to my delight

  • not only the dahlias i grew from seed years ago but the new dahlias from last year have all returned
  • the Calla lilies i did not get around to digging up are sprouting
  • a Jewels of Opar plant (Talinum paniculatum) that came up last year presumably from a scattered seed has returned
  • and a  Stevia plant i'd grown from seed  -- the zone 9 plant -- has come back for the second time under both cold and weed pressure!

Most of the bee balm (Mondara) i looked at yesterday had powdery mildew. I'll look again this weekend to see if there's any i can harvest as a herb while cutting back all the tall growing plants to promote branching.

--== ∞ ==--

Wednesday was the monoclonal antibody second infusion. I was feeling good and then the dose of intravenous benadryl hit and i was knocked out of it for the rest of the day. The infusion itself was short.  Dad has COVID aka, as he calls it, Covig, on returning from a Danube cruise with his sweetheart. Nurse said to stay away from him (and my sister and her husband who have been exposed to Dad as they cared for him) for two weeks.

Thursday was a blur with work meetings. I was promising myself a Friday to focus but then more distractions. Plus a new phone has arrived, so ensuring i have all the things i use set up is taking attention.

Meanwhile Edward Cat has been sleeping, not interested in usual companionship, not eating. He's clearly got a cold. We first thought to let it take its course, but Thursday and Friday Christine's taken him to the vet. (The vet urged the appointment on Friday). Blood sugar low, so stopping the insulin, and ordered a glucose testing kit so we can do a better job monitoring without vet trips. We have an appetite stimulant to try.

He wasn't in the bed when i woke somewhat early, so i looked for him and finally found him by the litter box. I assume getting there sapped all his energy.

Christine's sister's two cats died in the past year and i know Christine is almost expecting Edward to die, following Luigi. She's worried about his will to live.  I hope not. He still looks like a hearty cat.

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Monday, March 31st, 2025 06:48 am

Health: platelets back up on Monday and i think i was feeling better on Sunday. Spent some time looking for details on measurement uncertainties and natural variation in platelet counts.  I suspect if one knew the equipment that was being used there would be reference material, but there's no rule of thumb. Using some possibly unreliable numbers i found, i have established a range of normal for me that includes both my variation of numbers in the normal range and the measurement uncertainty. Ups and downs within that range i should consider as noise, not trend.  I did have a drop the previous week, and i think i did sense that in my body.

Feline health: this weekend was punctuated by Edward being sick with unpleasant fluids in many unexpected places around the house. Christine thinks she saw him hunt and catch something Thursday afternoon; perhaps that was a cause. This afternoon he seems to be getting better.

Luigi is even less mobile than he has been. He is enjoying some time on the deck in the sun (and pollen). We wonder if he is in discomfort or pain and when we should let him go. I think he's still OK, but there is something even more aged about him. He is getting matted but distressing him and triggering his breathing difficulties seems wrong at this point.

--== ∞ ==--

Work:  hyperfocusing on learning the OpenID Federation specification and the draft profile for higher ed, plus playing out the spec in a toy universe i created. I sure hope it can be as useful for others as it was for me because i sunk a great deal into it.

Escape/reading:  i spent the week very focused at work and very much escaping into Elizabeth Moon's Paladin’s Legacy series. One issue was that the books didn't really end, but just were continued in the next volume, so my hyperfocus tendencies really really wanted back in the story because there wasn't a strong done signal.

Even now, with some bits tied off, there clearly are narrative arcs ready to keep going. (Finds blog, finds title of a book sent to the editor, recognizes one thread that seemed ready for a book, drums fingers wondering when it will be published.) I am very tempted to read again: i know i skim parts wanting to get to the next plot bit. Rereading i will likely visualize more. Probably could study the maps better.

I found the theology and religion in the books interesting. SPOILER: part of the story has young people suddenly showing a capability that had been labeled as evil, discovery of writings from the time of one of the more politically established saint/gods showing the saint/god's compassion and that the capability itself was never one that the saint/god condemned. The magery feels very much like a metaphor for how visible trans youth became in the past few decades. I think this was in the... fourth book? Written a decade ago.

--== ∞ ==--

So, i've been ignoring spring, sorta. Did see fireflies the past three nights. (https://www.backyardecology.net/spring-treetop-flasher-our-first-firefly-species-of-the-season/)

Made third batch of seed crackers.

Had lunch with nephew down from NYU, lovely.

Went out on boat with Dad. Dad headed it into a huge flock (raft?) of cormorants. He wasn't wearing his hearing aid and could not hear me asking him, telling him to stop. He clearly wanted to get a video of the birds in flight. He sent some of them up, and i finally yelled stop loud enough to keep him from disturbing all of them. I was steamed. "But other boats speed through them." I growled a standard "just because everyone else" response and asked him if he wanted people driving through his bedroom. When he complained to my sister she informed (reminded?) him of the definition of harassing wildlife.

He posted his video on line -- and then heard me. Sigh.

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Sunday, March 2nd, 2025 04:24 pm

Birthday breakfast out with my sister and dad (it's his birthday, too). L pressed dad to stop his "George Will" "make people think" facebook posts and asked him to share his authentic truth that he has family members that the ... i have no words for this, slow coup?  ... is hurting. L was in a place of Not Tolerating Right Wing People, Dad wants to save them. To try and change subject, L shifted to asking about having an estate sale of family stuff, which led Dad through one of his well trod rumination paths. He asserted we didn't know what it was like, looking forward not to a milestone of triumph but to the long decline of aging. As i wrestle with my fears -- how much yard can i care for with the exhaustion and fatigue i had last fall showing up again? Remembering how the exhaustion last fall was making me think about retirement, remembering how just a few weeks ago that seemed so silly as i fell vital again -- Pfft, Dad, you've put off facing the reality. And, i'm pretty sure he's just going to continue putting off making decisions.

My sister let him know we'd be there to make decisions for him when it was time. Which, threat? promise?

When we went back to politics, we all were blunt about our fears. Dad thinks the country is about to fall apart. He's afraid for us all: i gave him grits for his birthday. We'll need grit to get through.

Aren't we lovely people to celebrate birthdays with! It sounds terrible, but it was authentic and honest talking between us, which may not be civilized, but it was connecting.

Read more... )

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Wednesday, February 19th, 2025 07:18 am

I am observing my slight miffedness at Dad, in his enthusiasm to have my sister and i finally meet his sweetie, suggesting i should take an afternoon off work. Hey, that's my work! Admittedly he was asking me to pick the day, but he's picked a restaurant that Google maps has as 50 min from my house, and wanted to have lunch. And wine.

Couldn't he pick a place closer? Anyhow, the fancy place he wants to go to

Now to see if we actually have this happen.

I really do want to meet his sweetie of ... three years? Has it been that long? No, dad must have misspoke. Two full years and some change.

Sister L-- will carpool with me. YAY.

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Sunday, January 12th, 2025 09:56 am

Saturday: Ice here over a dusting of snow.  As the sun came up some low clouds formed in the trees, fog of a sort, adding to the glow around the sparkle of light in the ice.

The rising sun illuminates the ice covered branches at our home

Now midday, a slow rain of melt water spatters while birds call and hunt for food. The sunny side of our yard is completely clear, so i'm sure they will forage well.

I'm in a cranky mood....

Abstract in muted slate blues and mossy greens on dot grid paper

Sunday ruminations )

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Sunday, January 5th, 2025 10:25 pm

Post holiday social: Friday noonish i met up with someone in Carrboro i know from the national advisory board i used to serve on and from conferences. It was wonderful and must do again. I also feel i can write it off as work for Reasons.  And, she and her spouse might be interested in playing poker with Christine and i sometime, although likely to be better players....

Friday evening i drove to Hillsborough to see my sister in law in a gallery opening that turned out to be a bigger thing than i expected and met up with a friend. I hope we will see each other a little more this new year.

I was, however, up late, and could tell. I was very weepy around the vet report about Luigi's probably myocardial something or another: enlarged heart? The good news is that the hormone that signifies this issue causes increased urination. Would treating this reduce the hormone, reducing the urination? But the vet bills. I was very invested in making sure Christine and i were on the same page about goals. Luigi is such a sweetheart and companion, but such an old little man cat. We need to let him go at the right time.

Saturday midday i had a good visit with my sister and went through my great grandmother's jewelry (most of which was clip on costume earrings, ohmigod ouch).

Then Christine and i managed to finished wrangling family for invites and in the evening hosted my brother and his daughter for poker. It was fun. I also made a little booklet with the hands for reference and put the date and a cool Las Vegas inspired "[our home] poker night" logo on it to make it special for S--. My sister has told me in what way S-- is not like most people (while expressing anger at my brother's family for how they don't help her navigate things).  I feel more connected to S-- than to the older boys, perhaps because she seems enthusiastic about visiting us. On the other hand, she's not quite a teenager yet at twelve. So, who knows when we will no longer be cool.

Today i worked on the new computer. I am so thankful for ChatGPT today, because troubleshooting getting a remote window connection going and working would have taken me far more energy than i had. It was still hours to get done. ChatGPT was helpful, i think, because of the vast amount of documentation for linux administration on the internet and the interconnection across different systems (Xwindows, vnc servers, the systemd automation, the weirdness of new fangled things that weren't around when i was using linux mumblty decades (what? that long?!) ago.

To reward myself i sat down to play with the new ham radio thing, but it didn't work, and then the original config didn't work, and then i realized i must have had something working in membor but changed something else and after -- maybe rebooting? -- the eariler state is gone and now i need to figure out how to start over. Bleep.  I don't think ChatGPT is the answer there.

It's been a muchness of socializing for this hermit. Good, but muchness.

I have had some ADHD reflections. I'm a little more clear why i am stalled on replying to some things. Part of it has to do with the distraction/interruption and trying to stay on task -- and i really don't have time set aside well for correspondence.

And i wonder about the Quaker sense of being led bu the Spirit, and how differently that might be perceived by neurotypical folks and neurodivergent. Wish i had time to go more deeply but it's bed time.

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Friday, October 11th, 2024 07:10 am

B's surgery was sort of OK except the new pump "was drawing a lot of volume," so his sternum was left open and he's been left under anesthesia. Christine's sister seems as OK as possible from Christine's report. She went to yoga which, seems a wise way of handling things, and she and B's daughter been able to visit with B. B's sister and son had been radio silent at last report.

Aurora last night! Barely naked eye visible but they screamed red on the camera, between long exposure and sensitivity, i guess. This morning i took a photo of the northern sky and it was dark, proving to me that it wasn't the camera just making stuff up. I am sitting out side now, despite the crisp air, apologizing to thje plants i haven't brought in yet. Huh, a whiff of musk just floated through

I continued to use the internet to spy on family in Florida, with the happiest discovery Volusia county's road closures. Found J & P's address well clear of any mess. Heard from J & J who hadn't lost power. Heard from J & P's daughter T who would tell us if there was any issue. B looks pretty clear of power outages. My dad's step sister remains a worry, but we aren't close. I only met her when going down to take care of my grandmother. (Moments of bitterness with my mother and how she monopolized family, and no guilt for all the times i swatted my dad's head. The man needs a clue.)

I'm  tolerating all the symptom management, although there's still some morning nausea -- probably because i am not taking sudafed or the inhaled decongestant over night. I don't know why the medical notes say that we discussed what would happen if i stopped the inhaled decongestant. The instructions warn against stopping without discussing with your doctor, the prescription says, "as needed". I'm trying not to consult Dr Google or some random AI about this.

I also have mixed feelings about Duck Duck Go's AI integration: it did find an answer for me ... it might have led me to the Volusia county map, even. But how can we really afford this? Were we willing to pay reference librarians?

The animal rescue hasn't posted any news about the Red Breasted Grosbeak we sent them. I am hoping it's because when they finally took a look at the bird it was fine and flew off. I didn't give it a personal going over after scooping it up from the hall where it was chirping like some squeeky toy.

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Wednesday, October 9th, 2024 10:10 pm

My regrets for not making clear the PayPal notice was for US residents in the 47 states that don't have decent privacy laws. And it's probably a specific type of account -- reading the privacy policy in detail is no fun.

I didn't go out to enjoy the lovely weather for some reason over the weekend, which, in retrospect, might have been the onset of an sinus infection. I've missed some work including all day Tuesday. I am thankful for access to telehealth and being able to get an appointment at a convenient time.  I hate missing work for sickness and getting further out of sync with things, particularly when i want to also be taking time off to work outside.

Christine's brother in law has open heart surgery tomorrow. "They will cut through his sternum to implant the device (open heart surgery), which is run forever more on 4-5 pound batteries that he will wear outside his body by way of high fashion accessories." (Christine clarifies it will be two batteries that are drained in parallel for a total of eight to ten pounds worn.)

I'm also holding friends and family in the path of Milton in my heart. I'm glad not to have my grandmother's safety as a weight.

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Wednesday, September 11th, 2024 07:30 am

Feeling appreciative of the weather change that made for getting things done in the yard Sunday and Monday evening pleasant.  Leaves are changing in hints here and there, mostly on the early trees of elm, tulip poplar, and cherry. The black cherry and elm just drop their leaves -- the tree still seems green but underneath is brown leaf fall. Tulip poplar leaves -- which have just barely started -- do spot the tree yellow, but in exchange they are almost black under the tree. Driving through the area i can see the shift in the green, hinting at colors underneath.

Mornings are darker and darker. This morning i observed a sparkling of stars against the sky, mistook Aldebaran (+0.85) for Mars (+0.6) near shining Jupiter (–2.3). Bright Capella (+0.08) stood out as well.

Stellar brightness is on an counter-intuitive scale where a smaller (negative) number is brighter.

Saturday we observed my Mom's birthday and i ran errands. i was surprisingly exhausted at the end, but the wheeled string trimmer will now start.

My bicycle is now home, with a new tire and tube on the back that will presumably be quieter and more efficient on the trainer, and a solid foam tube replacement on the front, to minimize having to pump it up. Also new grips, as the others had degraded rubber.

I made spiced apple fig jam on Sunday, steam canned it, and all the lids took! I wiped the edges this time instead of just trusting i had kept them clean, so that helped. I actually have a nice stash of canned foods for gifts this year. Did i cook the jam too long and it's going to be a solid gummy lump? I'll open our jar before i give it all away.

Work is overwhelming with context switching and never any time to follow up. Last night i worked late to prepare for an interview for a peer role today. I'm feeling very insecure about pressures on me to carry a software engineer's knowledge -- what i was cramming last night -- but that's not where my focus has been. I don't think i need to worry about not being appreciated, but yeah, i worry about expectations from our new exec directory & director management layers. They haven't shown themselves well in some other contexts.

Luigi, one of our two older ex-Tom cats, is peeing in the bedroom bathroom very frequently, matching his drinking. He's arthritic and i suspect he knows he can make it to the shower stall. This morning he didn't quite. It's a tile floor, a hard surface. Not the bed! And he is the sweetest, most companionable soul. We'll clean up pee forever if he is otherwise willing to stay with us.He joins me on the lounge in the morning, and sits between Christine and i on the couch at lunch and in the evening. Christine says he's calling her to sit outside with him now during the day. He's getting multiple treatments for the arthritis and Christine will continue pursuit of the borderline... thyroid thingy? It's the one where the cat gets radiology and then has to stay in isolation for a few weeks. Christine is indignant that he was turned down for treatment, but i don't think she's thought through the isolation that comes with the treatment.

We have a fencing contractor who has shown up to look at the work now, and seems likely to provide an estimate - -two, in fact. One might be with cheaper galvanized wire which -- sure! As long as the mesh size is small enough, we are game. If we hate it, there's [a very limited number of latex acrylic] spray paint.

For the petechiae and bruising, I go for more blood tests today, and i think my doctor will be referring me to a hematologist or dermatologist. I'm hoping for hematology because the optometrist noticed a blood vessel that had broken (nothing to worry about, you probably lifted something) so the capillary breaking isn't just the skin. On the other hand, WTF Buttercup with the waves of petechiae and bruises? Rhetorical question that. I am minimizing non direct doctor reading about this ... ah, fiddlesticks, went and did more reading. "The clinical approach to these disorders rests upon an astute clinician considering the diagnosis and identifying the specific patterns of clinical, radiologic, laboratory, and pathologic abnormalities." Stop reading!

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Tuesday, August 20th, 2024 07:24 am

A hawk cried across the sky, screamed from the western pine snag, and has moved along. The crow calls have stopped as well, so i suppose they were threatening to harass it.

It is in the mid 60s (°F) outside and the nearest dogwood is fluorescing red as the green fades. It arches over the yellow of the cutleaf coneflower. I can't smell the figs this morning, but there are so many and I am so behind. The hornets cut through some of the organza bags, so i used the bags less, a bit. I can see, though, that the bags helped with fruit flies. It's just so slow to put on the bags, and so many figs to pick.

I made and had a 5 jar out of 9 success in canning the following sauce recipe on Saturday, and have a couple more quart jars of the dried figs. (More raisin-tender than the rocks I made when i was terrified of moisture.) I fermented some puree that i used to replace water in my buckwheat bread recipe after seeing recipes for fermented fig butter. Those recipes called for adding kvass, which sounds like essentially lightly fermented fruit jusice. Since the figs are fermenting fine, i didn't bother. I wonder though what the bright ruby juice that separates from the solids tastes like. I wonder lots of things but i also wonder if i have the time to experiment.

A reliable fig apple jam recipe for canning is surprisingly hard to come by. I shall wing it this week.

I had some self critical spirals that may be entwined with worrying about how i am bruising and developing petechiae. (From falling down and scraping up my arm and legs? No bruises from that. Tapping my chin on the ladder? A big black bruise on my chin.) I'm feeling a little better We had a short notice gathering with my sister and her family last night to celebrate their eldest who moves into his dorms at NYU on Saturday. He is such a great kid, er, young man. I love listening to him and Christine talk.

I've bought some seaweed foraged in Maine: Irish Moss, "Kombu" (given as Laminaria digitata so an Atlantic species), and a Soup Mix - "Wakame" (Alaria esculenta), Sugar Kelp (Saccharina latissima), "Kombu" (Laminaria digitata). Saccharina latissima ios also known as Kombu

--== ∞ ==--

My idiosyncratic recipe development where i am trying to figure out how much of each recipe quality is needed so i can substitute and riff away, and also guestimate the quantity.

Aromatics & Spices (~ 0.5 cup)

*

1/4 cup olive oil

*

1/2 - 1/3 cup fresh alliums (onions, garlic) Using *my walking onion
tops* and bottoms

*

1 tbsp peeled and chopped ginger

*

/HEAT 7 tsp/

  o

    1 tablespoon smoked paprika

  o

    1 tbsp (1 dried pepper) ancho/poblano (/If using whole peppers,
    bloom with  onions)/

  o

    /2024-08-17: used two of my 2022 cayenne peppers during the
    onion stage. Noticeable heat!/

  o

    1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper /2024-08-17 used up the
    last of the white pepper. Meh. Had to add black pepper later./

*

Ground spices

  o

    2 teaspoons ground **my *coriander
    *

  o

    1 teaspoon ground cumin

  o

    1/2 teaspoon ground allspice /2024-08-17  used clove/

*

Umami

  o

    1 tbsp nutritional yeast

*

/2024-08-17: two eights of a preserved lime - So! Much! Salt!/

1.

Grind coriander seed.

2.

Measure spices into bowl

3.

Prep onions and ginger

4.

Heat oil in pan, add alliums, soften

5.

Bloom spices

6.

Add umami (and preserved lime)

FIGS

Two quart jars of very ripe figs ~ 3 - 4 cups as fig puree. Used 2.25 cooked ripe figs and pureed another quart jar with very ripe figs

ACID

2 3/4 cups of spiced and sweetened apple cider vinegar. /2024-08-17 left over from making spiced pickled apples. Had a 1:3 or 1:4 ratio with brown sugar. /

Mustard (or 1 cup Dijon)

*

2/3 c water in bowl

*

1/3 c yellow mustard powder

*

1/3 c distilled vinegar

1.

Assemble 15 min timer, whisk, measured water in vessel > 1 cup,
distilled vinegar, mustard powder, 1/3 c measure.

2.

Add powder, set timer for 5 - 15 min, measure vinegar /2024-08-17 10
minutes was not too much of a kick/

3.

At timer, add vinegar to stop heat development
  1. Add fig puree and vinegar

Final adjustments //

/Added black pepper , 2024-08-18/

*

1 tablespoon kosher salt

*

additional vinegar
  • Processing *

Simmer until thick enough, well over 30 min, dropping a noticeable amount in the pot.

15 min water/steam processing of 8 4 oz jars and one pint, plus about 8 oz un-canned.  (~56 fluid oz)

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Monday, August 12th, 2024 06:39 am

3 -11 August my week off by the numbers:

Reread five novels and two novellas from the Miles Vorkosigan series from Lois McMaster Bujold.

We had three power outages, but i was away for the Thursday morning one.

  • 2024-08-03 Sat 16:44 - 19:14 "caused by fallen trees or limbs damaging our equipment."
  • 2024-08-08 Thur 06:55 - 09:04 (During Debby) "was caused by fallen trees or limbs damaging our equipment."
  • 2024-08-09 Fri  06:50 - 08:38 (During Debby) "was caused by fallen trees or limbs damaging our equipment."

6.01 inches of rain (recorded 9:45 am Sat .97+.68+.99+.86+1.0+.77+.74 mostly clear, sun just coming over the trees)

15.58 ft height of Haw River at Bynum 2024-08-09 09:45

Gathering of twelve family members to inurn my mother at Arlington National Cemetery on Wednesday

Dinner on Wednesday and a visit to the National Cathedral  on Thursday with ten family members

Lunch at a Richmond deli with six family members.

Around ten hours of I95 and I85 travel.

Eleven pounds of apples, at least two pounds of figs, 20 plus figs in organza bags on the tree, and lots of fruitfly and wasp infested figs to deal with.  (Yay, the green organza bags don't stand out. Um, oops, i am now hiding the figs from me, too.)

Three 12 oz jars sealed of spiced apples in syrup, two failed seals, one quart i didn't even try to seal.

One sealed quart spiced pickled apples.  Around three cups leftover sweet spiced vinegar brine.

One quart fermenting mixed fruit for vinegar. One quart apple cores with champagne yeast fermenting for vinegar. Third quart jar collecting apples cores and really ripe figs, with champagne yeast, to make more vinegar.

Four spice packs, a gift for Christine, two floor mats, a steam canner, and an electronic posture monitor ordered.

--== ∞ ==--  Read more... )

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Monday, July 8th, 2024 07:36 am

Lessee: 4th of July: sat and poked at the internet. Not sure i can remember.... Probably some poking at Dad's email issue, then Dad called to wave off plans for the 5th to help him regain access to his email so he could assist his sweetie. Which was fine, as i had wanted to work then.

5th of July work went OK.

I did have a small panic over passkeys and FIDO keys and confusion about accessing my Google account. Apparently, i have a Google passkey on my personal Mac. I no longer have a second Apple product (as we are no longer allowed to use our own Apple account on our work machines) so i have two FIDO keys to act as second factor. Google asks me for my passkey as a second factor now, but i confused the passkey with the FIDO key and had a small panic when it wasn't on there. Once i figured out my confusion i tried getting a passkey on the FIDO key but Did Not Go. I assume i might have been able to make it work using Chrome, but what's the point in that. It also seems that my usual authenticator is no longer trusted by google, but i can root around in my phone's settings to find an authenticator there. Geeze Louise. I am very tempted to urge my Dad to get an account at one of my domains (or buy one for him) so i can ensure i know what is going on with his email account.

Saturday Christine went off to see her sisters, riding with D--'s from Carrboro to A-'s in Mount Airy.  A is apparently showing some cognitive decline. I keep urging C to participate in some cognitive baseline test to help ease anxiety about the onset of Alzheimer's. Because i am so scatterbrained ... er, because ADHD, i've been taking a couple tests. Christine is indignant that one (https://www.aptwebstudy.org/) does not give an absolute score. It reports relative to your initial score. Apparently variations of ±10 points are common: i haven't varied by more than one over. This test https://afamemorytest.com/alzheimers-foundation-of-americas-memory-screening-test/ gives you a score but you have to keep track of the score and remembering to do the test.

So, when i get confused about passkeys i can't blame getting older. The security and identity management technologists get the blame.

Anyhow: i succeeded in getting some things done Saturday: i dehydrated a batch of mulberries and blended/fermented/baked the buckwheat bread for the next two weeks.  Mostly i sat watching youtube videos about Lechuguilla Cave and and about extremophile microorganisms, kicked off by reading the NY Times story:

Jabr, Ferris. “The Mysterious, Deep-Dwelling Microbes That Sculpt Our Planet.” /The New York Times/, June 24, 2024, sec. Magazine. https://www.nytimes.com/2024/06/24/magazine/earth-geomicrobiology-microbes.html.

Sunday morning we celebrated Christine's sister D--'s birthday by visiting with bunny rabbits at https://www.breadboxfarm.com/ . The young rabbits were quite adorable and D's step daughter volunteers there (i guess a step niece?)  so she was a well informed hostess. I asked the owner about colors, and discovered she's someone who had done color breeding for genetics research in school and was delighted to talk about the colors she was trying to breed.

I spent much of the rest of the Oh So VERY wet and muggy  day -- and yay for rain, i hope the rest of the state got some -- making plans for a solitary road trip in a month. We'll see if i really go: a Friday evening in New Bern that happens to be the "Art Walk" night, an early morning at the coast to see the sun rise over the Atlantic  (have not been to the Atlantic in a remarkably long time) and then a slow drive back stopping in Kinston and Selma to see different things. Blue highway tourism. Kinston was heavily damaged by Hurricane Floyd and there's a maze of overgrown roads where people were bought out of the flood plain by FEMA. At the edge of this area is a park that celebrates African American Music. And then in Selma there seems to be a thriving antique/thrift section of the little town, although the most interesting place is on the outskirts in an old cotton mill. Just poking at the internet and visiting virtually was very nice, but i think it would be good for me to do the road trip.

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Thursday, June 20th, 2024 07:08 am

Happy solstice! I plan to take Friday next week off to observe the change in season and get my hair done (roots touch up, probably, although maybe some fun color?)

The early June family visits are over; next big family thing is my mom's internment in Arlington National Cemetery in early August.

Christine's brother in law B has been in and out of hospital since last mentioned. Christine brought them dinner at home on Tuesday night. Wednesday at 2 am they were back in the hospital. Their state is a worry.

I've been in that procrastinate and make self miserable until last minute when then one works late just before the deadline mode. More of that today, i guess. Having a label (ADHD) helps just a little. I know there's also insecurity wound in there too. Joy.

Squirrels do a remarkable amount of crashing in the treetops to get to the mulberry tree and feast. I cannot imagine that they are harvesting the low branches i can reach unaided. I presume the reduction in harvest is that they shake the tree and the berries fall. Black berries are coming to the end and the blue berries are getting started, but plenty of pale unripe mulberries hang where i inspect and test one or two for ripeness. The mulberry tree also has webworms, which i trust will become targets for birds with many mouths to feed.

The meadow camera caught a doe with fawn last night - hurrah!  I've been fiddling with the other cam in a new location on the driveway trying for a balance that would get a vehicle pulling far enough that we could pick up a vehicle pulling in far enough to throw a many pierced squashed Natural Light beer can in the woods or take the rainbow or gubernatorial "yard" sign, but not get every single car. I need to tweak something - it got Christine coming and going to the grocery but not my amble down and back. The beer can is JUST WEIRD. Our verge receives a fairly steady  Natural Light can toss. Not quite every day but a can or two a week. There's plenty of litter that happens: i assume when we put the "Black lives matter" sign nu it was more that we gave a target for tossing the litter than anything else. When the "Black lives matter" sign crumbled from the weather, we replaced it with a gubernatorial candidate sign and a text-too-small-to-read-with-rainbow-trim sign. That sign was gone within a week. Two weeks? It was quick. It's been replaced by a bold rainbow flag sign and we have a back up in the house.

Christine was agitated about protecting the sign, i had more of a shrug attitude about it. But early this week i found a beer can in the woods where i cannot imagine it arriving via the usual toss out the window of moving vehicle. And it had LOTS OF HOLES. I've gotten different opinions on BBs, birdshot, or just someone poking holes in it. Subsequent investigation seems to indicate the holes all are bent in -- no exit wounds. If it was meant to be a message, it's really a poorly constructed one  (sign stolen, shot, and returned is a message, this -- isn't that). It is littering, and it could simply be someone pulling off the road into a driveway with a dark house in the distance at night, drinking a beer, and then taking out aggression on the can while, i dunno, making a phone call? And then chunking the open but empty container because NC has an open container law that would make the empty can in the vehicle an offense.

I've always figured we were one beer can's distance from some job site, and the sign just makes a nice target for tossing the can out of the vehicle.

I suppose delivery drivers and guests would appreciate a little more light on the driveway but i like dark skies.

elainegrey: Inspired by Grypping/gripping beast styles from Nordic cultures (Default)
Tuesday, June 11th, 2024 07:00 am

== Written previously ==

My brother's is in town with D-- who is studying for a Sunday morning SAT and S--. My brother does not stop working because ...  he blames being a partner in a law firm but i think it's workaholism.  He also plans poorly, which drives Christine nuts. If it didn't drive Christine so nuts i'd be much easier. The happy news is that, yay, Christine is working on being more easy with things not going as planned. I think half the issue is my brother doesn't really want to be working and would rather be visiting but he's not representing it as such. I offer to take S-- as company since otherwise she's with men who aren't really into play time, and i also got my brother.

The visit from my brother is at a awkward time because he arrived the day my sister's in-laws arrived to celebrate her eldest's high school graduation. So there's lots going on over there.  I've taken Monday off so i can put on a gather here  while my sister's fam will be at the beach.  I realize how much i have been happy to lean on my mother and my sister in planning. (My sister is EXTRA irritated with planning with my brother's visits, because of the imperious flailing.)

Last night was lovely though as N and S hung around until Christine was done with her evening chores and we played poker (Texas holdem') for a while. I'd nudged S-- in that direction as she bluffed her way through a number of go fish games a few years ago. She's a little more able this year, although she and i both probably stay in more than we should. I wonder if it might be useful to discuss odds as "if something happened once a week for a whole year and only one time does this particular type of thing happen" as a metaphor for the odds of getting a particular card

This morning has dawned cool and not-humid and i will go mow mow mow. I dried sage, oregano and thyme last weekend. I want to do something with All The Mint other than dry it. We have bread cubes for stuffing/dressing languishing in the pantry. An onion carrot mint bread casserole of some sort?  I have a 4 oz mason jar with a mint chimichurri still in the freezer. I should like more of that but maybe i will actually follow through and use it if it's in ice cubes. I keep wanting to make more barley for lunch and know barley in a mint dressing would be yum.

== Now Monday evening ==

Today seemed like all the kitchen. Plan order of events so that i can get to my Dad's with everything by lunch, because Christine is exhausted of people and is on her third migraine. (So the meal i am preparing for them i am bringing over there.)  To the grocery! NOTE TO SELF: do not buy the  red onion (that was triple the cost of the yellow and sweet onions) if it's going in at the beginning of a shrimp boil because all the color goes away.   Pick herbs and greens -- thyme thyme thyme for the broth and for garnish, mint to make tea, sochan to forget to add in at the end.  Make a berry filling, make a sweet ricotta filling, make a irregularly shaped Danish with Pillsbury crescent roll sheets (like this https://laurenslatest.com/easy-cheese-danish/) with the home grown berry filling (heavily corn-starched). Forget to wash with the whey (drained from the ricotta - i figured it would be like milk). Add spices, celery, onion, herbs to the pot then cut up potatoes and cover with two quarts of water so the potatoes don't go ugly.  Keep the trimmings in a container for stock later.) Boil some shrimp for Christine to leave on ice for her.  Shrimp is almost defrosted by the time to go. Get halfway there and realize i left the (tofurkey) sausage.

The day was gloriously pleasant, and we cooked on a nifty little butane eye. D-- shared how terrible the accommodations were at the ACT test he took on Sunday morning with at least one student passing out because of the heat. The shrimp boil turned out wonderfully, and i collected all the shells to put back in the broth to make stock.

At home, i pondered the bags of reduced cost banana peppers and bell peppers and wondered what to do with them. I had zucchini i wanted to dehydrate into "zoodles" so  three banana peppers and a bell went onto the trays with the three zucchini. I've stuffed two and air fried them -- wonderful with the rice made with the shrimp boil stock. I've made my loaf of buckwheat bread. The shrimp shell  stock and then, whomp, i'm done.

https://www.wral.com/story/after-sat-site-found-closed-parents-concerned-act-site-at-st-augustine-s-won-t-be-open-either/21462253/ This says it went smoothly https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FWNLCAnjp0s --HA.

== Now Tuesday morning ==

Anyhow, Friday my sister L and i have plans with M -- (brother N's wife) and their daughter S-- to go to the NC Zoo -- about which i have some misgivings but it's one of those giant habitat places so L-- says it's OK. I thought my brother was going to stay in the DC area with my father over the week my nephew was there for his summer seminar at Annapolis (to help him decide if he wants to join the Navy if he gets in to Annapolis), but Dad wants to come home (to his sweetie S--, i am sure). While they drive back, it's the local Juneteenth event, and i have bravely volunteered to help with set up.  Then it's Father's Day, and i had thought of that as a Stay At Home Quiet day, because Dad would be out of town, but N is all about another gather. Hrm. At the end of the month i have a road trip with Dad to a family reunion pot luck, where this is family from the early/mid 1700s.  cough

Anyhow. Dehydration turned out brilliantly, probably because it's not miserably humid. (The weather has been so lovely!)

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Thursday, June 6th, 2024 07:30 am

Week flying by.

Christine's brother in law was in very critical condition Sunday, his sister, cousin-who-is-like-a-brother, son and wife all came to town. He's stabilized and in a normal room now. Whew.

My brother and his children D-- and S--- arrived in NC via a red-eye yesterday; we had lunch out together.

I've had two end of workdays where i was filled with a dark negative mod. Tuesday had a rare G&T and read  N. Novik's Uprooted<\i>. Excellent story telling. Wednesday is grocery night, so that expanded to fill the whole. I'm sure it's negative thoughts at work. Compassion for myself is the antidote. Perhaps i can see my way to recognizing i don't need to spiral into more self critical thoughts by suggesting i'm failing at that.

This afternoon looks like a long rain, which frees me from trying to decide if i should go to W--'s graduation (no room for extended family at the rain venue). It also liberates me from almost all yard work -- i could put the new blade on the mower. Depending, i could go rescue S-- from her working father, her studying brother, and her granddad. Maybe go play poker with her and her grand dad? We could bring a pizza over? I dunno.

Hummingbird at the hummingbird mint on the deck railing. (Awareness of my carelessness in enticing them even more into the predators reach strikes hard.)

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Saturday, June 1st, 2024 03:17 pm

Mom died two years ago today.  I sat with Dad in the parking lot of the hospice and listened to him and helped hone memories. (We were trying to remember where my maternal grandparents were living around 1971.) He was reflecting, as is familiar, on his turbulent relationship with my mother. He never understood how much appearances and propriety  mattered to my anxious mother, and she never took responsibility for her own feelings and blamed him for everything. But he loved her so, which i never quite understood. I think he feels guilty that the years after her first major stroke were so special, but it was so amazing how the stroke stripped away much of the anxiety/trauma/anger/whatever-it-was-that-tortured-her. I only tear up when i think about how much smiling at dad she did after the stroke, and wonder what it would have been like to have had a mother free of distress. (Well, to have had a parents who parented.)    My brother and sister were also missing mom this morning. I am glad Christine recognized that my not missing her is hard in its own way.

Christine is back at the hospital with her brother in law B to give her sister a break. V-tach last night sent them to Chapel Hill's ER. Apparently he'll be discharged to "go home" so he can actually get back over to Duke's hospital .. Monday? Not clear.

I'm wondering if i have enough stats background to take on learning about "Statistical Learning with Python." I've decided i am NOT going to literally take the course, but work through the labs. If i can do that, then i could take the course, paid, for a certification. But just getting through the labs will be a thing. On the other hand, i am learning about indexing/slicing/masking that i flail at whenever i am poking at data, so this is hopefully a win. And last weekend's work with tech skills means i have a very tidy work environment set up.

I wrote this update for some friends in California and thought i would share here. Read more... )

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elainegrey: Inspired by Grypping/gripping beast styles from Nordic cultures (Default)
Tuesday, May 28th, 2024 07:17 am

I say it's odd in the sense that my focus was different that it's been for a while. A day of hyperfocus, a day of GTD with the todo list guiding me, a digital decluttering in between. Some progress on postponed tasks.

I ended up staying home on Friday: Christine's brother in law was back in the ICU, and Christine needed to stay with him, so i was home with the pets. I don't really think we need to worry about leaving them alone a long time (she says, with some resignation). It turns out Carrie has figured that she should poop next to the toilet in the east bathroom if she can't get our attention. If she could just ... no, i can't see how she could actually maneuver to use the toilet. (But you know, we could leave a puppy pad out.)

I spent all Friday doing a deep dive into some topics of professional interest and it felt fabulous to focus with no interruptions. I definitely went into hyperfocus. I've since practiced some other technical skills that i just haven't felt entirely able to fiddle around with, but a long weekend poking at things has been good. I also spent a day going through digital detritus, which felt helpful. Today i've taken care of a number of household to-dos. We had run out of the small HVAC filters so i went to Lowes, and came home with four plant starts that were slightly on sale. I think i can recoup the investment

Thursday:  Sylvilagus floridanus (Eastern Cottontail) this time in the east yard (after two mornings when i sighted the rabbit out the front window). They startled when i went out for rain gauge. I'm till hearing cicada but see a lot of dead ones. Carrie found a very young rabbit in the yard and Christine rescued the mortally wounded animal.

Saturday: Another handful of mulberries harvested. So many on the ground! I think i should get a net i can mount to catch fruit. New peonies have sprouted (need to add more soil). Under the pines, Pipsissewa (as i was taught to call Chimaphila maculata) is blooming. (I wonder about trying it as a tea.) The New Jersey tea (ha, another tea plant!) is blooming. It along with the iris virginica are so prolific this year, i wonder if i missed them in my post surgery blur last year.

Christine's been bit by two ticks and we found another today (pre-bite). But none on me yet. How odd!

There's a skink in the house. Thank you Marlowe. Sigh.

Sunday: I am assuming young cardinals were playing along the orchard fence as they learned to fly. I went out to discourage them from staying inside the fence. A squirrel was picking mulberries. Sigh. Where's our predators when you need them?

household, adhd

elainegrey: Inspired by Grypping/gripping beast styles from Nordic cultures (Default)
Thursday, May 23rd, 2024 07:40 am

So non sto. I already wrote about the weekend, but look, i recap again:

Saturday - So humid. Ended in buckets of rain when we went out to get shrimp po'boys at the trying-hard-to-be-a-destination location in town, then stopped at my nibling's high school art show. (Charges admission, which, i guess, the sports teams do it why not the art show?)

Sunday - brunch at my sister's to visit with my brother's son who had arrived after a long delayed flight and who is staying with my dad while being forced off campus until next term and his summer job start.

Monday was a normalish work day, i worked a little late taking a mandated AI training course, then mowed the orchard plus whatever until the battery died, then weed whacked up at the road a little bit. Can't kill all the invasive (rank 3) daisies but can discourage reproduction. I'm a little sad i was so successful with the Queen Anne's lace (also rank 3). There were no daisies by the roadside when i was growing up, but Queen Anne's lace features in nostalgic memories of summer, including early in my marriage to Christine. I think i must have picked roadside Queen Anne's lace and daylilies driving down the DelMarVA peninsula to be with her for weekends when i was in grad school and she was in Edenton on the radio.  We had received two lovely art glass pitcher/vases as wedding gifts and the cobalt blue one, with daylilies and Queen Anne's lace, sitting on the kitchen table in late afternoon light is a bright glowing memory ....

Tuesday and Wednesday were both full of context switching and long strings of meetings. I got a little experience with AI using the prompt training from Monday. It does seem to help to tell chatgpt that it is an expert with thirty years of experience in [area] who also is an award winning educator, writing clear  articles, and that it should [do thing] for another expert in the area who is familiar with the terminology. Telling it to be an expert and a clear writer seems to improve, but telling it it's also writing for another expert helps bring the content up to a potentially more useful level. I am not spending so much time rolling my eyes saying "i knew that" and "that's what i asked" and feeling like it's merely parroting my prompt.

I see the potential, and -- like getting help from humans  -- it's frequently not useful  or satisfying until you spend time getting familiar with each other. I wonder if agents are as inevitable as remote controls for everything, mobile phones, smart phones. I don't know if the current costs will really be worth it. I think about the switch from typewriters to word processing and the level of fuss that then was possible. One typed some thing out, yeah yeah, get the margins right and the line spacing right.  I don't think bold and italics were possible? And if you needed math or formulae you wrote them in? And then experts in formatting would take over, whether the publisher or the admin who had become a LaTeX expert. But once everyone had a word processor at hand everyone was fiddling with markups and styles. What had been an expert skill was democratized yes, but not everyone was skillful and the time sink for people who were experts in something else.

AI minutes of the Zoom meeting we had yesterday were ... meh with "where did it get that from" and "that was a minor aside" .. and while no one needs to volunteer for  collaborative scribing in Google Docs, everyone reviewing the "minutes" will need to put more work in.

Tuesday night was in the car getting my nephew from my Dad's, meeting up with C at home, going to a restaurant, getting Christine home to care for Edward, taking Z to a drug store for allergy meds because cat hair. (I shared how i found i was allergic to cats in college,  he muttered something that indicates he might be discovering the same thing.) Then to Dad's and back. I don't drive enough and ground gears once shifting. Bleh i need to insist on being the driver more.

Groceries last night then watching the Wednesday sci fi. Currently Halo, which is oddly better than Stargate Universe. We've tried watching that Stargate twice, but i always get very turned off by the not one trusts anyone plot threads.

Friday i go to New Bern with Dad and nephew Z, which should be an all day thing.

Anyhow,....