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Yesterday there was a poll at http://electoral-vote.com/ and some demographic questions were on the list. 
( noodling )
--==∞==--
I'm not sure what to do with my recent blues. Since the body work therapy i had to deal with issues around my mother, circa 2007-8 i think, i have been significantly more functional. "Freedom" is the first thought that comes to my mind along with images of liberation from seed husks and carapaces, a lightness and agility. The depression: not "cured." I turned, like i did in grad school, to antidepressants.
OK, i admit it, there's some sort of situational depression going on. Although -- really? Is there really some other situation where i would be happier?
I ponder going back to NC. It's cheaper there, theoretically, although i honestly don't know if the average commutes are any better. I don't like the thought of leaving the network i have here, although i'm currently grumpy enough with the abstract of the Meeting to feel a great deal more free. Would Christine be interested after she graduates with her masters?
Is there a therapist who would be a good psychiatric crutch and help me resolve the situation (aka job and possibly home structure and possibly budget)? Some of that is going to need Christine to participate, i think, perhaps like how i joined her with her therapist when she was first transitioning, to help sort out the issues on my side of the family.
I'd like to think there's some situation where i would be happier but it's hard getting from here to that vision.
Issue #1: type tasks where i thrive: creative, design, research, analysis activities, generally solitary. Type tasks where my employers & i have stuck me: leadership and management. I see gaps in those and have a bloody hard time not being drawn to them to fill them.
Case in point: I am on meeting nominating committee this year. I have nudged our clerk several times to schedule a meeting. Yesterday the clerk sent a list of topics we need to address. I noticed gaps and pulled out the memo from the previous clerk to review begin a listing of what the current clerk had missed. Wait a minute, Blondie! Let the clerk do the job, even if it's missing urgent issues!
So, i could choose to learn some discipline at letting organizational things go, but it's where my employment track record is visible.
I've just got the certification to see an EAP provider for depression. I'll start there.
( noodling )--==∞==--
I'm not sure what to do with my recent blues. Since the body work therapy i had to deal with issues around my mother, circa 2007-8 i think, i have been significantly more functional. "Freedom" is the first thought that comes to my mind along with images of liberation from seed husks and carapaces, a lightness and agility. The depression: not "cured." I turned, like i did in grad school, to antidepressants.
OK, i admit it, there's some sort of situational depression going on. Although -- really? Is there really some other situation where i would be happier?
I ponder going back to NC. It's cheaper there, theoretically, although i honestly don't know if the average commutes are any better. I don't like the thought of leaving the network i have here, although i'm currently grumpy enough with the abstract of the Meeting to feel a great deal more free. Would Christine be interested after she graduates with her masters?
Is there a therapist who would be a good psychiatric crutch and help me resolve the situation (aka job and possibly home structure and possibly budget)? Some of that is going to need Christine to participate, i think, perhaps like how i joined her with her therapist when she was first transitioning, to help sort out the issues on my side of the family.
I'd like to think there's some situation where i would be happier but it's hard getting from here to that vision.
Issue #1: type tasks where i thrive: creative, design, research, analysis activities, generally solitary. Type tasks where my employers & i have stuck me: leadership and management. I see gaps in those and have a bloody hard time not being drawn to them to fill them.
Case in point: I am on meeting nominating committee this year. I have nudged our clerk several times to schedule a meeting. Yesterday the clerk sent a list of topics we need to address. I noticed gaps and pulled out the memo from the previous clerk to review begin a listing of what the current clerk had missed. Wait a minute, Blondie! Let the clerk do the job, even if it's missing urgent issues!
So, i could choose to learn some discipline at letting organizational things go, but it's where my employment track record is visible.
I've just got the certification to see an EAP provider for depression. I'll start there.
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