(covid-19, travel, household, overwhelm)
Still physically healthy. Yay!
Really down. Boo.
I got worried that all the receipts from travel that i had emailed to me ended up getting lost. It turned out it took some time for my email to all get downloaded to my work laptop: they were all (well, many more) there this afternoon.
I traveled on Southwest this trip. On Monday i was anxious about my carry-on baggage having overhead room from my position around the 90th to board. Worked out OK. Friday i was even more delayed in checking in, and ended up around 120th to board. I gave into the extortion and paid to be moved to the front of the line for boarding.
On Monday i wrote about my concern about boarding and then relief that it was OK.
I continued:
There seem to be fewer Masks this trip compared the flight last December, although I don't know if Southwest skews.
I spent so much time with anxiety over packing and prep [the weekend before the flight]. I know that this is all the ADHD Stuff. I travel so rarely that I can't quite remember what I successfully did last time.
The weekend was waves of stress - perhaps anxiety is more correct- would I remember what I needed, would I pack it right? I spent along time waffling on whether to check luggage. Shoes drive me nuts: what to wear for comfort? But looks professional? (At least for the lowered standards of the tech and academic world.) The first time I traveled after living in NC, my feet were so accustomed to either house slippers or boots, wearing shoes created huge blisters.
I finally decided to just wear the newly dyed blue boots on the plane. If has been a fine decision and took one thing out of luggage. I can get them off fast enough at the security scan, and get them back on reasonably.
While packing, I ended up purging almost all the small travel sized things: handfuls of chapstick, hand sanitizer that expired six years ago! It can expire? Whatever. All in the trash.
I thought about my mom's purses and the cabinets full of similar stuff that we (my sister, mainly) cleaned out after her death. There is a spiral of triggers for collecting the items. One of them -- "I know I had X but I can't find it" -- plagued me as I packed. Having many copies theoretically means that you can easily find one when you need it. (l eventually found those things i was looking for as well as other items on my lost list this weekend.) There's the guilt of waste: must use everything up. The fear of the discomfort of being without. With the skin issues Mom and I shared, it isn't just discomfort but also knowledge how irritations can trigger flares. I still think with horror of a work trip where dry skin lead to a raw, weeping rash over half my face. Be prepared with every lotion and salve!
I have so few items compared to mom but I had no idea how old, how germy, the ones I have were. So I am going to TRY to not have tons of different chapsticks and lotions, try to keep redundancy down. I threw out a bowl of cough drops at least four years old. And I threw out a bottle of suede protector that was from the early aughts. (I had to ask Christine for advice as I dithered over whether to use it or not.)
Decluttering feels a bit like wasting things. I know one of the ADHD strategies some folks have is just have lots of backup for when you misplace things. Maybe I will drive myself nuts trying to keep track of stuff. But it also felt good to get rid of the bottles of stuff that i had no memory of how long it;s been sitting around.
In the opposite direction of throwing things out, I did accept a very large bin of canning jars from Mom's effects as Dad cleaned his garage. I've bought a collection of bamboo lids for the jars - canister style. Syringes for Luigi's meds, needle tips from Edward's meds, clutter of all my skin meds are now stashed in jars. I think that's going to help ease another aspect of clutter that creates an undercurrent that contributes to me feeling overwhelmed.
I'm not quite sure What is inspiring he decluttering. So far it's just been a bit here and a bit there. There is a little more ease than before, so I am noticing the benefit.
Really down. Boo.
I got worried that all the receipts from travel that i had emailed to me ended up getting lost. It turned out it took some time for my email to all get downloaded to my work laptop: they were all (well, many more) there this afternoon.
I traveled on Southwest this trip. On Monday i was anxious about my carry-on baggage having overhead room from my position around the 90th to board. Worked out OK. Friday i was even more delayed in checking in, and ended up around 120th to board. I gave into the extortion and paid to be moved to the front of the line for boarding.
On Monday i wrote about my concern about boarding and then relief that it was OK.
I continued:
There seem to be fewer Masks this trip compared the flight last December, although I don't know if Southwest skews.
I spent so much time with anxiety over packing and prep [the weekend before the flight]. I know that this is all the ADHD Stuff. I travel so rarely that I can't quite remember what I successfully did last time.
The weekend was waves of stress - perhaps anxiety is more correct- would I remember what I needed, would I pack it right? I spent along time waffling on whether to check luggage. Shoes drive me nuts: what to wear for comfort? But looks professional? (At least for the lowered standards of the tech and academic world.) The first time I traveled after living in NC, my feet were so accustomed to either house slippers or boots, wearing shoes created huge blisters.
I finally decided to just wear the newly dyed blue boots on the plane. If has been a fine decision and took one thing out of luggage. I can get them off fast enough at the security scan, and get them back on reasonably.
While packing, I ended up purging almost all the small travel sized things: handfuls of chapstick, hand sanitizer that expired six years ago! It can expire? Whatever. All in the trash.
I thought about my mom's purses and the cabinets full of similar stuff that we (my sister, mainly) cleaned out after her death. There is a spiral of triggers for collecting the items. One of them -- "I know I had X but I can't find it" -- plagued me as I packed. Having many copies theoretically means that you can easily find one when you need it. (l eventually found those things i was looking for as well as other items on my lost list this weekend.) There's the guilt of waste: must use everything up. The fear of the discomfort of being without. With the skin issues Mom and I shared, it isn't just discomfort but also knowledge how irritations can trigger flares. I still think with horror of a work trip where dry skin lead to a raw, weeping rash over half my face. Be prepared with every lotion and salve!
I have so few items compared to mom but I had no idea how old, how germy, the ones I have were. So I am going to TRY to not have tons of different chapsticks and lotions, try to keep redundancy down. I threw out a bowl of cough drops at least four years old. And I threw out a bottle of suede protector that was from the early aughts. (I had to ask Christine for advice as I dithered over whether to use it or not.)
Decluttering feels a bit like wasting things. I know one of the ADHD strategies some folks have is just have lots of backup for when you misplace things. Maybe I will drive myself nuts trying to keep track of stuff. But it also felt good to get rid of the bottles of stuff that i had no memory of how long it;s been sitting around.
In the opposite direction of throwing things out, I did accept a very large bin of canning jars from Mom's effects as Dad cleaned his garage. I've bought a collection of bamboo lids for the jars - canister style. Syringes for Luigi's meds, needle tips from Edward's meds, clutter of all my skin meds are now stashed in jars. I think that's going to help ease another aspect of clutter that creates an undercurrent that contributes to me feeling overwhelmed.
I'm not quite sure What is inspiring he decluttering. So far it's just been a bit here and a bit there. There is a little more ease than before, so I am noticing the benefit.