Monday Morning Reflections

[elainegrey]

Driving home from meeting yesterday i found myself experiencing surges of regret. My usual bolt away from the community after meeting: is it just habit? Why, really, do i run away? As i got to Middlefield (a long road that must have a long history), my thoughts turned to appreciating the fall leaves and being stunned that it's November. My intention to ride my bike to Meeting during the fair and clear weather, made in February.... What have i done this year? Much, i'm sure, and yet i'm beginning to sense the lack of goals as not a release from arbitrary pressures but as a lack of grounding.

I take this to mean that i am healing from the years of work focus, that i've slipped free of survival and i'm back to asking What Can I Do For This World?

The challenge of interacting in community remains for me: that is where procrastination has drifted. There's a large tension in myself between a sense that my growth of self may be best shaped by stepping out of myself and my own inclinations to be semi-solitary. I note the

.... and i stopped writing.



Side snark, from a Mercury News article about the approaching 9 Nov Google Books hearing (although the article seems to just mention a "deadline"): "It's absolutely partially about Google's size," said Daniel Clancy....