As far as conversation is concerned: I seem gradually to have come round to feeling that the general level of skills in the US is low. So many listening exercises in seminary. And what was second-level baffling to me was how surprised and pleased my exercise partners would be that I heard what they said and could tell it back, without interpretation.
I suspect that a lot of people unconsciously place themselves as judges or reviewers of what's said to them, as ones to be entertained and to judge the entertainment. Several years ago I was explaining over and over to Sheeyun that if you take an interest in things other people are interested in, you can find them interesting. That my life had been so much enriched that way. And that he wouldn't find his own life as pleasurable if, for just one example, I just said, "No, I'm not interested in hockey, I never have been." (This was eventually successful. Or anyway, Sheeyun returned to conversing rather than speaking about the interesting important things enough that it was as if my efforts had been successful.)
I listened to the The Bechdelcast podcast this morning on the movie Double Indemnity, in which they talked for some time about the extreme artificiality of the period Witty Banter dialogue. Which, yes. And thinking about that, I suspect that it exhibits how desperate people were for conversational novelty, and how desperate women were to be found funny.
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As far as conversation is concerned: I seem gradually to have come round to feeling that the general level of skills in the US is low. So many listening exercises in seminary. And what was second-level baffling to me was how surprised and pleased my exercise partners would be that I heard what they said and could tell it back, without interpretation.
I suspect that a lot of people unconsciously place themselves as judges or reviewers of what's said to them, as ones to be entertained and to judge the entertainment. Several years ago I was explaining over and over to Sheeyun that if you take an interest in things other people are interested in, you can find them interesting. That my life had been so much enriched that way. And that he wouldn't find his own life as pleasurable if, for just one example, I just said, "No, I'm not interested in hockey, I never have been." (This was eventually successful. Or anyway, Sheeyun returned to conversing rather than speaking about the interesting important things enough that it was as if my efforts had been successful.)
I listened to the The Bechdelcast podcast this morning on the movie Double Indemnity, in which they talked for some time about the extreme artificiality of the period Witty Banter dialogue. Which, yes. And thinking about that, I suspect that it exhibits how desperate people were for conversational novelty, and how desperate women were to be found funny.