(1.self, adhd, habits, journey with the gas can, reading notes)

[elainegrey]

Just read three novels in a row, Nathan Lowell's Seeker’s Tales trilogy. I felt like there was a bit more showing than telling than is usual in Lowell's novels, but there was a theme of midlife crisis-ish self reflection that, i think, resonates a little with me.

I'm frustrated with my time management  and with the sticky humidity. I spent what seems like altogether too long rebooting basic self care habits, particularly the evening, so that i can get seven hours of sleep, make room for some light movement, and take basic care.

I still don't have a solution for mornings. Journaling, communicating, strategizing, organizing -- too many little high focus or high coherency things i want to do to fit in the available time. I hoped i would  be happy with naturally doing whatever came next but i'm not sure that's working for me.

I know if i don't have intentionality i feel like i am frittering time -- it's not that important things don't happen, but many things i want don't happen and not all the important things happen or things happen (like this entry) that  take much longer than they appear: this will be 67 min ad 45 sec when i hit send. Do i want "too much?" Have i not figured out how to do what i want in such a way that replenishes me.... Maybe that's the puzzle: i don't think what replenishes me is so much of a what as a how, and i need to figure out how to structure my intentions so that  what i want to do is  laid out in such a way i can use it for replenishing.

(Part of me is a little frustrated that Christine's and my rhythms are so different.)