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Yesterday: work reality smacked me upside the face with renewed emotional "i don't like this" from my inner six year old. I whined to my boss about it, and am feeling sheepish about it now. Today is Long March of Meetings, many of which will underscore my sense of being underprepared.
I scrawled out my short message of thanks to my direct reports and left them on folk's desks. I really don't know which is better: having something hanging over me but when i finally do it at least feel it's well done or Getting It Done. I am suspecting from my long history that the MISERY of going past a deadline means that even if i do it well after, i will never be satisfied because (since i went past deadline) it should have been EVEN BETTER. So i think "Get It Done" is more satisfying than not, but it surely isn't as satisfying as doing something well.
I just need to be compassionate with myself that expressing optimism was not where i was over the past few months. (*cough*year*cough*)
Good news: the Prius can continue in the HOV lane until July. Yippee Skippy!
I posted a package to my sister off last night* and caught at the very last moment that the zip code to my folks' was incorrect. I wish i'd caught it at the moment when the automated postal station indicated the zip was for Goldsboro, NC. I was puzzled, as the zip looked right, and instead of stopping, lept going. But before i stuck the package in the bin i checked again (there was a line at the machine). Ah, my parent's current zip (and the zip from which i graduated high school) has the last two digits reversed from Goldsboro (where i attended some elementary & middle school). Ah. I keep trying to frame this as "Good Catch at the Last Moment" and not beat myself up for letting my awareness of folks in line pressure me to miss the moment the automated machine offered a correction.
* ...and a burden that someone passed off to me in a manner that bugged me. I know the person is in a tough place and has Issues. But...
It strikes me that my compassion reservoir is really quite low. Compassion for my workplace, for certain needy colleagues, for friends who need support, for myself and my imperfection. [I'm hoping this is a partly a cyclical biological issue. ]
To affirm more good things: yay me for pushing through an answer to a scheduling query that was poorly worded to the point of confusion, yay me for promptly echoing a creek advocacy announcement to my blog.
I scrawled out my short message of thanks to my direct reports and left them on folk's desks. I really don't know which is better: having something hanging over me but when i finally do it at least feel it's well done or Getting It Done. I am suspecting from my long history that the MISERY of going past a deadline means that even if i do it well after, i will never be satisfied because (since i went past deadline) it should have been EVEN BETTER. So i think "Get It Done" is more satisfying than not, but it surely isn't as satisfying as doing something well.
I just need to be compassionate with myself that expressing optimism was not where i was over the past few months. (*cough*year*cough*)
Good news: the Prius can continue in the HOV lane until July. Yippee Skippy!
I posted a package to my sister off last night* and caught at the very last moment that the zip code to my folks' was incorrect. I wish i'd caught it at the moment when the automated postal station indicated the zip was for Goldsboro, NC. I was puzzled, as the zip looked right, and instead of stopping, lept going. But before i stuck the package in the bin i checked again (there was a line at the machine). Ah, my parent's current zip (and the zip from which i graduated high school) has the last two digits reversed from Goldsboro (where i attended some elementary & middle school). Ah. I keep trying to frame this as "Good Catch at the Last Moment" and not beat myself up for letting my awareness of folks in line pressure me to miss the moment the automated machine offered a correction.
* ...and a burden that someone passed off to me in a manner that bugged me. I know the person is in a tough place and has Issues. But...
It strikes me that my compassion reservoir is really quite low. Compassion for my workplace, for certain needy colleagues, for friends who need support, for myself and my imperfection. [I'm hoping this is a partly a cyclical biological issue. ]
To affirm more good things: yay me for pushing through an answer to a scheduling query that was poorly worded to the point of confusion, yay me for promptly echoing a creek advocacy announcement to my blog.
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