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The extra hour has shown up for me this morning, when i can use it, so i am delighted. Edward, however, is hovering. He stood on my two copies of _The Golden Flame_ that rest on the window sill and stared down at me. He sits on the cat stand behind the sun lamp and peers at me from the dim beyond the glare. He sits on the lower step and peers at me through the books.
In a moment it will be the official cat feeding time. Meanwhile it is still quite dark outside: was it really this dark at 7 am last week?
I'm blocked up, energy wise. I know the pattern: too much energy and demands from a direction that frustrates me. Then, when i'm freed from that, my current responsibilities loom dauntingly before me. I wanna rest, my inner six year old, demands. And now these responsibilities loom, particularly the ones that i postponed in order to deal with other stuff. I've a stew of resentment and shame blocking me. I wouldn't have identified the shame before watching Brene Brown's TED talk. I wonder if naming shame will help?
Ooh! A TRICK: i will set my day goals 7 am-7am, which means i have the time before 7 am to meet (or at least make progress on) my goals for "the day."
In a moment it will be the official cat feeding time. Meanwhile it is still quite dark outside: was it really this dark at 7 am last week?
I'm blocked up, energy wise. I know the pattern: too much energy and demands from a direction that frustrates me. Then, when i'm freed from that, my current responsibilities loom dauntingly before me. I wanna rest, my inner six year old, demands. And now these responsibilities loom, particularly the ones that i postponed in order to deal with other stuff. I've a stew of resentment and shame blocking me. I wouldn't have identified the shame before watching Brene Brown's TED talk. I wonder if naming shame will help?
Ooh! A TRICK: i will set my day goals 7 am-7am, which means i have the time before 7 am to meet (or at least make progress on) my goals for "the day."
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