Let me have a light to hold in the darkness (morning writing)

[elainegrey]

Dad wanted to talk this morning, driving home from his sweetie's, where they watched the returns all night with disbelief. I'd not followed the reporting, just peeking at the NY Times decision arrow (holding the striking tech workers in my heart) and the electoral-vote.com site. Christine came home from watching with her sister, feeling despondent, and i could at least say Mark Robinson hadn't won, and Jeff Jackson is  NC's next AG. Those are little candles glimmering in the distance for me.

Dad said he was going home to focus on what he needed to do, "Fix what he could fix," and i held that - yes: fix what we can fix. On the family thread i wrote, "Like Dad and i were discussing on the phone: fix what you can fix and be the best person you can be. You can still make a better -- more beautiful, more just, more diverse -- world. And don't give into fear: find the bright spark of Light inside you, nurture it, feed it, and be inspired to do what is right" as i thought of my niblings. Then i asked them what they think we should do.

One thing my dad advised was keeping your head down, but i don't think i can do that. I don't think giving into fear will help anything, so the rainbow yard sign will stay up with the solar lights on it - -and ill clear the meadow grasses from in front of it soon.

The flooding and deaths in Missouri and the spinning up of ... checks the National Hurricane Center ... yes, it's Hurricane Rafael now underscore a reality that has been denied. Shift the pack on my back and try to put down burdens that aren't mine so i can carry what i can carry forward.

I have had a brief thought about retirement and whether we should live with less so i have capacity to do more. I will admit to giving into fear with those thoughts -- not sure how markets will handle the coming years, more due to climate uncertainties than completely mismanaged economy, and also not sure the roaring stock market is the just way to be funding a retirement anyhow -- but maybe i need to spend more time listening to see if that is a leading.

Comments

[cmcmck]

There are people on my blog over there who are like me and I'm terrified on their behalf! :o(

[elainegrey]

Having watched Christine cope with the horrible anti-trans adverts all fall, and with the tepid Democratic response, i understand that fear.

[altamira16]

We have been thinking about retirement for a little bit too.

[elainegrey]

*nod*

[tamena]

feeling much the same, my daughters, when young, used to say "I has a sad" and I agree
Facebook gave me more of an "I has an angry" this morning. Seeing all the really just nasty posts from red people about all the crying and negative comments towards anyone that didn't feel the way they did
and thinking about it for a minute, realizing had Kamala won it would have been a whole lot of "oh thank *whomever*" not negativity

The one I enjoy though is how many are SO excited for no more taxes on overtime. Boy are they in for a surprise if that little gem gets implemented LMAO. They are not going to be very happy for very long trust me cause not one of them read how that's supposed to happen *goes giggling off into the morning sun to refill her coffee*

[elainegrey]

I hadn't heard about it, but yeah, that sounds good until you realize how incentives shift the reality.

[adore]

Hope and strength to everyone. The going is tough, but we've got to keep going.

[elainegrey]

And to you!

[threeringedmoon]

downsizing (trying not to intrude here)

From 1992 to 2018 we lived on a five acre property on a Colorado hillside, about a mile from a National Forest. For most of that time we had horses on that property. In 2017, our mare died and we moved our remaining gelding to board at a friend's place. Our original plan was to live there another ten years and then sell and move to some place smaller and more accessible. However, without horses at home, and knowing that we were both in good physical shape to do a lot of the necessary work to winnow out belongings and do what we could to get top dollar from our property, we decided to get the house ready and sell within a year.

We went from a 2100 sq ft house with lots of stairs and five acres to an at-grade 1600 sq ft ranch house on a piece of property not much bigger than the foot print of the house. Although I occasionally miss our old place, it is so nice not to have so much stuff to take care of.

[ljgeoff]

I like the backpack imagery. Sometimes I feel guilty that I'm not interested in taking on worthwhile fights.

[lyr]

Tomorrow I will work on hope and fighting back. I need today for grief and exhaustion. But I can't keep my head down, either.

[amaebi]

Holding my thumbs for you and for all of us.