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Yesterday's anonymous comment on my not being down was " 11月4日、ほんとうに東京に来るのですね" is translated by the Babelfish as "Because November 4th, it comes to Tokyo truly, the shank." And then there was a follow up comment, "It comes unless with, it is to say?"
I now imagine my blues, my depression, as a Godzilla creature, a monster created by not hubris but some other human sense of excess, out of my mother's rigid perfectionism, her anger now swallowed and learned by me.
My therapist shared some notes from Ann Weiser Cornell's Inner Relationship Focusing practice on the "critical voice" or "controlling part" after we ran into my critical voice. N observed that it was not a horribly violent critical voice, that there were much worse, and i responded by spilling rapid stories of how my mother's voice drives her so hard. I've done what i can to minimize my experience of that critical voice, but it's still there.
Instead of using will to silence that voice or analyze it away, the focusing practice seems to get in dialogue with it. First recognize the voice is looking out for one's self, and that it's protecting a frightened child part of the self.
* identify -- no, "sense" -- what is driving the critical voice, what it is concerned or worried or anxious about.
* what positive result does the critical voice want you to experience? What does it want you to feel? [N said to go with the positive first, her Cornell notes are in a different order]
* what does the critical voice want you not to experience, what is it protecting you from?
* what memories, emotions is it trying to protect you from feeling in your body?
I now imagine my blues, my depression, as a Godzilla creature, a monster created by not hubris but some other human sense of excess, out of my mother's rigid perfectionism, her anger now swallowed and learned by me.
My therapist shared some notes from Ann Weiser Cornell's Inner Relationship Focusing practice on the "critical voice" or "controlling part" after we ran into my critical voice. N observed that it was not a horribly violent critical voice, that there were much worse, and i responded by spilling rapid stories of how my mother's voice drives her so hard. I've done what i can to minimize my experience of that critical voice, but it's still there.
Instead of using will to silence that voice or analyze it away, the focusing practice seems to get in dialogue with it. First recognize the voice is looking out for one's self, and that it's protecting a frightened child part of the self.
* identify -- no, "sense" -- what is driving the critical voice, what it is concerned or worried or anxious about.
* what positive result does the critical voice want you to experience? What does it want you to feel? [N said to go with the positive first, her Cornell notes are in a different order]
* what does the critical voice want you not to experience, what is it protecting you from?
* what memories, emotions is it trying to protect you from feeling in your body?