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Tea by candlelight in the bedroom this morning. Yay.
The meeting with Dr C went very well: she focussed on the diet experiment and not on all the different other things i might do. Since i'm having a difficult work week with a colleague from out of town visiting, and spending long times in meetings, i don't want to challenge this week. Dr C points out, as well, that it's possible my body may respond to the challenge with a severe response so i might be better starting on a weekend.
Since i'm not challenging this week, she's suggested i take the corn (which i find suspect), eggs, and peanuts out of my diet. A good plan, so to implement i bought some "raw power" protein shake from her. Breakfast is for me very repetitive and finding something to replace my usual egg & tortilla, which had been an evolution from cheese on bread, was the biggest challenge.
Apparently my elimination of wheat and dairy was extremely aggressive, even though we missed the wheat in the Contadina tomato paste, so there's hope the challenge will still be effective. I'm not going to be as aggressive with the egg and corn: letting corn starch and egg slip through on ingredient labels. (Otherwise i'd need a week to eat already prepared foods and to survey the ingredient lists.)
****
Yesterday was very full: the morning was spent going over Friday's magnum opus with local colleagues in preparation for the visitor. The visitor challenges me: his energy drains me and spending long blocks of time with him today and Wednesday is not appealing, except the need is so critical! I need to learn to listen to his story-telling in a way that gets beyond my irritation at his self promotion and self abuse ("I can't think clearly right now because i've only had three hours sleep," yet when it's suggested he could go sleep in his hotel, "Oh, i don't need sleep!").
I joked with my boss that he doesn't need rest because he sucks the energy from everyone else, but that is a very bad frame. My energy is mine: i don't need to let him sap it away. (Also, i have TEA as a shield today.) So how is it that his stories get to me? I know i also feel he's a bad listener.Perhaps i am being a resentful listener to his stories. That may be where my energy is going: resenting his self-centered narratives when a simple answer is what i was looking for. Ah! Yes, i don't work all the time thus i want my work time to be efficient! The key is that. This week, while we have lots to discuss, we have time. So i can listen.
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Yesterday evening was full: after the doctor, i tried calling someone i need to visit with in my oversight role, and when she wasn't available, i called someone else on my way home. She and i chatted a long time before i got to my reason to call, and it's interesting to me to compare the chatting with her to listening to my colleague. I have been holding LM out to myself as a role model of connecting to others: i love her gracious energy.
I caught Christine up on the doctor visit and wolfed down hummus on a rice cake. I keep thinking hummus should be able to satisfy me, but i was quite hungry by the time i returned home.
Off a little late to help with more clean up of the Harvest Festival, and then an evening reading stories from "Kitchen Table Wisdom" and discussing our lives with women from the Meeting. Again, story telling, listening, and counterpoint to work. I can't say i felt great about the evening discussion. I think i was hungry: i was getting a sense of strained headache that i first blamed on the earlier issues in the day and the ongoing engagement with people. But i think i was simply hungry: it disappeared after much goat cheese on rice crackers and some stewed fruit.
I tell myself i'm a good listener, and i do think that's true. I'm not a particularly good story teller. My Dad tells stories that are of the tall tale (but true, actually) variety, the time he chased the bear, the stupidity of fishing while floating on his back past the breakers with a stringer of fish hanging from his belt, wrestling an alligator, etc, etc. They are stories not meant to make you connect with him but to entertain. My mom doesn't tell stories: she has long narrations (much like my long journal rambles!) where she's working out (or reinforcing) issues. That's what i've learned.
The meeting with Dr C went very well: she focussed on the diet experiment and not on all the different other things i might do. Since i'm having a difficult work week with a colleague from out of town visiting, and spending long times in meetings, i don't want to challenge this week. Dr C points out, as well, that it's possible my body may respond to the challenge with a severe response so i might be better starting on a weekend.
Since i'm not challenging this week, she's suggested i take the corn (which i find suspect), eggs, and peanuts out of my diet. A good plan, so to implement i bought some "raw power" protein shake from her. Breakfast is for me very repetitive and finding something to replace my usual egg & tortilla, which had been an evolution from cheese on bread, was the biggest challenge.
Apparently my elimination of wheat and dairy was extremely aggressive, even though we missed the wheat in the Contadina tomato paste, so there's hope the challenge will still be effective. I'm not going to be as aggressive with the egg and corn: letting corn starch and egg slip through on ingredient labels. (Otherwise i'd need a week to eat already prepared foods and to survey the ingredient lists.)
****
Yesterday was very full: the morning was spent going over Friday's magnum opus with local colleagues in preparation for the visitor. The visitor challenges me: his energy drains me and spending long blocks of time with him today and Wednesday is not appealing, except the need is so critical! I need to learn to listen to his story-telling in a way that gets beyond my irritation at his self promotion and self abuse ("I can't think clearly right now because i've only had three hours sleep," yet when it's suggested he could go sleep in his hotel, "Oh, i don't need sleep!").
I joked with my boss that he doesn't need rest because he sucks the energy from everyone else, but that is a very bad frame. My energy is mine: i don't need to let him sap it away. (Also, i have TEA as a shield today.) So how is it that his stories get to me? I know i also feel he's a bad listener.
****
Yesterday evening was full: after the doctor, i tried calling someone i need to visit with in my oversight role, and when she wasn't available, i called someone else on my way home. She and i chatted a long time before i got to my reason to call, and it's interesting to me to compare the chatting with her to listening to my colleague. I have been holding LM out to myself as a role model of connecting to others: i love her gracious energy.
I caught Christine up on the doctor visit and wolfed down hummus on a rice cake. I keep thinking hummus should be able to satisfy me, but i was quite hungry by the time i returned home.
Off a little late to help with more clean up of the Harvest Festival, and then an evening reading stories from "Kitchen Table Wisdom" and discussing our lives with women from the Meeting. Again, story telling, listening, and counterpoint to work. I can't say i felt great about the evening discussion. I think i was hungry: i was getting a sense of strained headache that i first blamed on the earlier issues in the day and the ongoing engagement with people. But i think i was simply hungry: it disappeared after much goat cheese on rice crackers and some stewed fruit.
I tell myself i'm a good listener, and i do think that's true. I'm not a particularly good story teller. My Dad tells stories that are of the tall tale (but true, actually) variety, the time he chased the bear, the stupidity of fishing while floating on his back past the breakers with a stringer of fish hanging from his belt, wrestling an alligator, etc, etc. They are stories not meant to make you connect with him but to entertain. My mom doesn't tell stories: she has long narrations (much like my long journal rambles!) where she's working out (or reinforcing) issues. That's what i've learned.