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MANIACAL LAUGHTER

i did it, i did it, i did half assed jobs but everything i was worried about got emailed about in some way or another and i begin a four day weekend RIGHT NOW.

Will i dye clothes? Will i get Oversight stuff done before the meeting? Will i just sleep in and lounge around all day tomorrow. Who knows. Who cares! It's a vacation.

(Deep habits cry out in pain that i ought to spend this time well Getting Things Done or Doing Special Things but i chide them -- i am working hard and if i need to just rest before the Aug trip east and the September trip east and the two installations and a wedding in meeting and library committee Sunday and Tuesday night and and and, i can just be a cipher.)

(no subject)

One of the stories in Kitchen Table Wisdom: Stories That Heal tells of someone with chronic illness who lived a much reduced life because she never knew if she had the energy to finish things - so she didn't try. Through her work with the doctor she realized that she could try things and if they didn't work out, so what? "If it's worth doing," the patient concluded at the end of the story, "it's worth doing half assed."

There's something about that point of view that ties with the wisdom of Wayne Gretzky, variously reported as: "One hundred percent of the shots you don't take don't go in" or "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take."

For the perfectionist, *me*, going ahead and getting something done, even if it is imperfect and not the best i could do, is a challenge. That is part of the procrastination in a large amount of my correspondence and communication: i want to give my correspondent my full attention, focus on them, but im distracted or tired right now. I'll write later. And so i don't write.

But there are plenty of cases, i think, where letting someone know you're thinking of them is the right thing.

And this morning's case is responding to an alert from FOR about San José de Apartadó, a peace community in Colombia for which friends of mine have been international accompaniment. The murder and dismemberment of a number of community members (including children) in 2005 was heart breaking, the particular victims seem to point to assassination (as it was the community leader) and terrorizing the community. The confessions of both a military participant and paramilitaries who explained how they worked with the military seemed good evidence. The court decision acquitting the soldiers seems to be part of a continuing pattern of injustice.

So i went to the "Send a Fax to the Secretary of State" page and tried to make my own personal message this morning. Before much tea. There are sentence fragments. But maybe it counts more than not sending a letter because i wait until i can write a clear and motivating plea.

[For more on Colombia and US aid and how the aid affects average Colombian's human rights, see http://forusa.org/content/report-military-assistance-human-rights-colombia-us-accountability-global-implications ]

( I dare not reread for the early morning typos )