Harvest Moon

Beloved! Your autumn moon light is spilling down the hallway! Our home is aligned to the west, and the equinox sunlight makes it to the office. This morning, though, the full moon light floods my path as i go down the hall to make tea. What a mirror, that pale globe, reflecting the sun not yet risen.

And the harvest is here.

I am so happy that my mood shifted yesterday afternoon. Physical, chemical, some switch shifted. I'm not sure what to think of harvest, and i'm scared to think about harvest and work (knowing for days that i felt incompetent to keep up with what was laid in front of me).

Christine, though, Christine has networked into a good place for her. Folks who can talk to her about setting a career direction. Thank you! It is good to see her work bringing forth fruit.

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A friend from meeting suggested acupuncture for my mouth:

I would have never thought of that! I've a return to my therapist scheduled for Friday, to help me work through dealing with stress. Skimming the internet, it seems most traditional Chinese medicine practitioners treat canker sores with herbs, and, just as their Western colleagues, they advise reducing stress. So, i think returning to work with my therapist might be good. She works in the "somatic experiencing" model of dealing with trauma, and has helped me make some significant recovery from childhood trauma. I rather think that some of the stress is that i'm not leaning on old coping styles, but haven't quite learned how to let the demands flow easily around me. (I look at several colleagues who also recognize the dysfunction and demands, but they don't seem to be falling apart. How do they do it?)

Yesterday afternoon it was as if an emotional fever broke and i feel much more bright and optimistic. I still worry about all this stress leading straight to another winter depression, and wonder when i'll ever have tomato sauce again, but some shift happened and i can feel hope. Perhaps i just got enough rest to push my energy to the sufficient line, but that rest comes about knowing that others are carrying concern for me and that i could lean on them. Thank you!

I still need to discern what a "good job for [Elaine]" will look like. Maybe i can somehow create that at my current employer, maybe not. But figuring out what elements are needed for me to thrive is the next step.

I saw this during my journaling time, can you tell?

Thank you again,

me

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Today i should review community.

I've looked in my mindmap and cleaned out some old tasks.

I need to go through Meeting committee email and update some notes. Reply to the person taking over the clearness committee job.