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OK, so yesterday got warm. Today some rooms are starting at mid 70s. I'll watch to see when temps begin to rise and shut up at equilibrium.
We had dinner at a Mediterranean restaurant last night with friends: Christine was uncomfortable with the food, the heat, and weary. Since she made her plans for the coming week, i've seen how the plans weigh her down. Hopefully we can make today emotionally lighter.
I am pondering depression and time management. On Saturday, i was trying the time-blocking method which i find helpful, but instead i was feeling more and more down. I know i'm procrastinating around preparing for Tuesday morning. I'm resenting the work i need to get done, even though there's nothing particular about the work. Ah, yes, i see,( blah New Director blah ) I wonder if that realization will help. I wonder about my near mute resentful inner child. How do i help her? How can i get to Thriving myself?
Is it really possible that i could "switch" jobs and be more at ease in the world? I think back years ago, to a wish Gurdonark offered me when my operations role was weighing heavily on me, a wish that my job could sit more easily with me, or some such. Last night, my friend noted my work has been taking more than i wish it was ever since she knew me. I recall back when we moved to California and the Archive went through its paroxysm of layoffs and defections.
Just like when my psychiatrist was diagnosing me with SAD, i could explain why each winter was particularly distressing. I can explain the stresses of all these jobs, why they were hard and problematic. The truth is that my parents lived life in crisis mode and they taught me to be in crisis. I have not yet learned the lens to see normal as normal.
So back to my coach, my trauma therapist, i guess.
Looking for a new job might help, but i really think it is me.
And should i just accept the side effects and go on prozac forever? No, i'm not there yet. I have a hope i need to nurture, and prozac doesn't help there.
We had dinner at a Mediterranean restaurant last night with friends: Christine was uncomfortable with the food, the heat, and weary. Since she made her plans for the coming week, i've seen how the plans weigh her down. Hopefully we can make today emotionally lighter.
I am pondering depression and time management. On Saturday, i was trying the time-blocking method which i find helpful, but instead i was feeling more and more down. I know i'm procrastinating around preparing for Tuesday morning. I'm resenting the work i need to get done, even though there's nothing particular about the work. Ah, yes, i see,( blah New Director blah ) I wonder if that realization will help. I wonder about my near mute resentful inner child. How do i help her? How can i get to Thriving myself?
Is it really possible that i could "switch" jobs and be more at ease in the world? I think back years ago, to a wish Gurdonark offered me when my operations role was weighing heavily on me, a wish that my job could sit more easily with me, or some such. Last night, my friend noted my work has been taking more than i wish it was ever since she knew me. I recall back when we moved to California and the Archive went through its paroxysm of layoffs and defections.
Just like when my psychiatrist was diagnosing me with SAD, i could explain why each winter was particularly distressing. I can explain the stresses of all these jobs, why they were hard and problematic. The truth is that my parents lived life in crisis mode and they taught me to be in crisis. I have not yet learned the lens to see normal as normal.
So back to my coach, my trauma therapist, i guess.
Looking for a new job might help, but i really think it is me.
And should i just accept the side effects and go on prozac forever? No, i'm not there yet. I have a hope i need to nurture, and prozac doesn't help there.
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