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Yesterday popped up to 89° and we let the apartment warm up too much. That, after the standing in the sun, left me cranky. (Also, probably hormonal tides shifting.) I ended up going to the grocery store to pick up a watermelon and mango for dinner, and watched some recent-ish BBC version of The Scarlet Pimpernel.
As the seasons turn, the sky is lightening just after i need it. I'm beginning to light the candle in the bedroom. It's partly demanded as Mr M is not coming down the hall for breakfast. I don't know if this is because he wants to stay near the under-the-bed escape route to avoid the roofers or is just a sign of his elderly nature. "What, breakfast, now?" He's 13 or 14 and could be older. It seems like it was just yesterday he joined our clouder, walking me home from the Philly trolley. I've aged too, though. Oh, sweet Mr M: you are definitely a senior cat now.
In "How Leadership Can Disappoint Me" news, the VP who was the Minnow president circulated an email yesterday. There will be celebrations in the home office of the 40th anniversary of the Whale on Friday. Few folks come into the office on Friday, so he's not arranging anything. He sent the email with the link to the video of the President of the Whale's 40th anniversary message and notes that if you buy yourself some cake, he'll pay for it. While long time Minnow employees might be expected to share a similar crankiness, perhaps, at the Whale's survival with the Minnow being swallowed, we do have folks who were never Minnow employees around. Why not do what we always do: celebrate on Thursday? Maybe i should buy something for my team and submit the chit to J--.
--==∞==--
I'm admitting to myself that i'll be hitting or have hit perimenopause -- and i really do not want to talk to my mother about it. I think it's the second part of that that really hits me emotionally. My mother is the best person for me to get predictive information from, as far as the missing manual to these wonderful systems that are our bodies. But she is not a good person to get information from: mostly there is her projection and not listening, her complicated feelings about aging, her attitudes about medical care. While my boundaries are pretty good, i'm a little frightened of taking a change of my own where i might be confused or concerned and exposing myself to the insinuations and baggage-heavy influences she could bring to bear.
I know I'm not alone: there are many other women whose mothers aren't accessible for many reasons. I know, too, i have worked hard to both find the inner archetypical mother i need and to develop a loving relationship with my mother as she is.
What i would like to ask her? What were her experiences of heat flashes or night sweats, what did she and her doctor discuss about bone loss and how did her mother's bone spurs and so on influence her choices, how long did she experience tapering off of her period? (Are my night sweats a signal? How can i discern change when i'm irregular and always have been? How aggressive should i be about osteoporosis?)
As the seasons turn, the sky is lightening just after i need it. I'm beginning to light the candle in the bedroom. It's partly demanded as Mr M is not coming down the hall for breakfast. I don't know if this is because he wants to stay near the under-the-bed escape route to avoid the roofers or is just a sign of his elderly nature. "What, breakfast, now?" He's 13 or 14 and could be older. It seems like it was just yesterday he joined our clouder, walking me home from the Philly trolley. I've aged too, though. Oh, sweet Mr M: you are definitely a senior cat now.
In "How Leadership Can Disappoint Me" news, the VP who was the Minnow president circulated an email yesterday. There will be celebrations in the home office of the 40th anniversary of the Whale on Friday. Few folks come into the office on Friday, so he's not arranging anything. He sent the email with the link to the video of the President of the Whale's 40th anniversary message and notes that if you buy yourself some cake, he'll pay for it. While long time Minnow employees might be expected to share a similar crankiness, perhaps, at the Whale's survival with the Minnow being swallowed, we do have folks who were never Minnow employees around. Why not do what we always do: celebrate on Thursday? Maybe i should buy something for my team and submit the chit to J--.
--==∞==--
I'm admitting to myself that i'll be hitting or have hit perimenopause -- and i really do not want to talk to my mother about it. I think it's the second part of that that really hits me emotionally. My mother is the best person for me to get predictive information from, as far as the missing manual to these wonderful systems that are our bodies. But she is not a good person to get information from: mostly there is her projection and not listening, her complicated feelings about aging, her attitudes about medical care. While my boundaries are pretty good, i'm a little frightened of taking a change of my own where i might be confused or concerned and exposing myself to the insinuations and baggage-heavy influences she could bring to bear.
I know I'm not alone: there are many other women whose mothers aren't accessible for many reasons. I know, too, i have worked hard to both find the inner archetypical mother i need and to develop a loving relationship with my mother as she is.
What i would like to ask her? What were her experiences of heat flashes or night sweats, what did she and her doctor discuss about bone loss and how did her mother's bone spurs and so on influence her choices, how long did she experience tapering off of her period? (Are my night sweats a signal? How can i discern change when i'm irregular and always have been? How aggressive should i be about osteoporosis?)
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