(no subject)

One undercurrent of last week was that my grandfather was not doing well. EVERYONE but myself was visiting him: all his kids, all his grandkids but myself, all the great grands. On Monday, triggered by work and feeling like no one was watching my back there, the anger from work spilled to my family. I hadn't been told that granddad had a stroke, no one told me what hospital he was at, and so on.

What i have to remember is that the vast majority of my nearest family (my parents, my brother's family, all my nephews) were there on vacation. Not there explicitly to gather around my grandfather in his possible last days. And, of course, i was the idiot calling and calling my parents -- at their home number, not the cell. So the sense of, "Why aren't you returning my calls?" has much more to do with my own clumsiness.

In talking through this with Christine, i became clear just how much work angst i was transferring over, how i was framing the family dynamic in the same experience i have of a distant work headquarters that initially struggled to connect to "remote offices" and, while that is much better, i have New Director who definitely doesn't connect and relate in the way i would appreciate.