(morning writing, health, quaker notes, journey with the gas can)

Things i need to process

• Last Thursday's unsatisfactory visit with the ENT where reflux is blamed for the ongoing cough. I've written a rambly review, asked Christine for thoughts, got back a gentle suggestion that there was too much distracting detail, and then wrote this.

I acknowledge the medical field has been under much strain, but I feel like Dr REDACTED listened much more the first time I saw her than the recent visit. This visit I felt a little railroaded into a determination of cause, and find Dr REDACTED did not bring any curiosity to addressing a chronic cough that has been with me since the mid 2000s. This cough has been mis-treated as asthma for about twenty years, significantly predating COVID. My spouse who joined me to help keep attention to details felt she was barely acknowledged and felt uncomfortably Ignored.

I am very frustrated, but so very happy i am not coughing Right Now. I'm not sure what i will do other than monitor my sinuses for the next few months so i can have more clear information for the nose surgeon i see him. I know i need to process this more

• all of the retreat, which is not necessarily done here but with other people. I think the org may be headed towards multiple practical schisms. The fact that a  similar but different event is being held this coming weekend with a clear association to one of the national organizations by a past clerk the org is interesting, but i think the schism is between those who see the need for a national virtual organization that offers the services of a monthly meeting and those who focus on the twice a year gathering.

• worship sharing where i realize it might be the case that i am a joyful person. Huh.