Let me have a light to hold in the darkness (morning writing)

Dad wanted to talk this morning, driving home from his sweetie's, where they watched the returns all night with disbelief. I'd not followed the reporting, just peeking at the NY Times decision arrow (holding the striking tech workers in my heart) and the electoral-vote.com site. Christine came home from watching with her sister, feeling despondent, and i could at least say Mark Robinson hadn't won, and Jeff Jackson is  NC's next AG. Those are little candles glimmering in the distance for me.

Dad said he was going home to focus on what he needed to do, "Fix what he could fix," and i held that - yes: fix what we can fix. On the family thread i wrote, "Like Dad and i were discussing on the phone: fix what you can fix and be the best person you can be. You can still make a better -- more beautiful, more just, more diverse -- world. And don't give into fear: find the bright spark of Light inside you, nurture it, feed it, and be inspired to do what is right" as i thought of my niblings. Then i asked them what they think we should do.

One thing my dad advised was keeping your head down, but i don't think i can do that. I don't think giving into fear will help anything, so the rainbow yard sign will stay up with the solar lights on it - -and ill clear the meadow grasses from in front of it soon.

The flooding and deaths in Missouri and the spinning up of ... checks the National Hurricane Center ... yes, it's Hurricane Rafael now underscore a reality that has been denied. Shift the pack on my back and try to put down burdens that aren't mine so i can carry what i can carry forward.

I have had a brief thought about retirement and whether we should live with less so i have capacity to do more. I will admit to giving into fear with those thoughts -- not sure how markets will handle the coming years, more due to climate uncertainties than completely mismanaged economy, and also not sure the roaring stock market is the just way to be funding a retirement anyhow -- but maybe i need to spend more time listening to see if that is a leading.