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Today i procrastinated on card writing. I know some of what is going on is that i don't know how to find "good enough" in correspondence. My sister and i chatted a bit this morning about perfectionism, and we bemoaned how there isn't a good word to oppose "perfectionist." I was surprised when she named the same root i had used in my journaling just minutes before she called: acceptance. Could we quit being perfectionists and become acceptingists? I have made some strides in some areas, recognizing "that's enough" but in some ways i am just willfully disregarding the perfectionist voice. The perfectionist is still there, still nagging, and that is an energy drain.
I spent some time before and after chatting with L going over those wishes and refining them.
The day moved on pretty quickly. We ended up passing on almost all traditions. We were not awake at midnight, and we didn't go see a movie at all. We pondered the romantic comedy in the theaters with Jack Nicholson, but just couldn't bestir ourselves. No black-eyed peas, no collards. Christine's made cornbread three times in the past week: two for the folks staying at the Meetinghouse and one for us with lots of apple sauce. (Yankee cornbread, i swear.) I had leftover 17 bean stew, and Christine celebrated with one of her most favorite of meals: pizza. I even had a few slices, what with it being a holiday.
I did use my card-writing procrastination as a force for good: i've filed for the flexible spending funds remaining in the account, registered for the Quaker LGBTQ conference in February, and sorted out a few more stashes of paper work. I was a bit aghast to find some stashes untouched since sorting them on vacation in early June. Sort and file and recycle: i am delighted that something is holding back the sense of being overwhelmed which could be so easily triggered by finding such stashes.
I did chat briefly with Grandmámá, and had a longer chat with DE. I'll be giving her a ride tomorrow. I am worried though: i'm now on two clearness committees *and* i'm opening the meetinghouse every Friday night. Oh, blondie, you've gone and overcommitted yourself!
I spent some time before and after chatting with L going over those wishes and refining them.
Practices: To practice, to tune, and to accept.
Visions:
0. I wish to flow with all the cycles in time, both the external seasons, days, tides and my internal shifts and swings, so that i may be and do in right order.
"Life is meant to be lived from a Center, a divine Center--a life of
unhurried peace and power. It is simple. It is serene. It takes no
time, but it occupies all our time." Thomas R. Kelly, Testament of
Devotion, 1941
1. I wish to be fully well when i am well, being in that moment. When i am not well, i wish to welcome and be with that state as well.
2. I wish to both open myself to others but also to welcome them into my openness.
3. I wish to be listening when i am called to connect with community.
4. I wish to ask questions and listen to the answers as i discern right work.
5. I wish to nurture myself with my enjoyment of creating.
6. I wish to live in a space that feels welcoming and comfortable.
The day moved on pretty quickly. We ended up passing on almost all traditions. We were not awake at midnight, and we didn't go see a movie at all. We pondered the romantic comedy in the theaters with Jack Nicholson, but just couldn't bestir ourselves. No black-eyed peas, no collards. Christine's made cornbread three times in the past week: two for the folks staying at the Meetinghouse and one for us with lots of apple sauce. (Yankee cornbread, i swear.) I had leftover 17 bean stew, and Christine celebrated with one of her most favorite of meals: pizza. I even had a few slices, what with it being a holiday.
I did use my card-writing procrastination as a force for good: i've filed for the flexible spending funds remaining in the account, registered for the Quaker LGBTQ conference in February, and sorted out a few more stashes of paper work. I was a bit aghast to find some stashes untouched since sorting them on vacation in early June. Sort and file and recycle: i am delighted that something is holding back the sense of being overwhelmed which could be so easily triggered by finding such stashes.
I did chat briefly with Grandmámá, and had a longer chat with DE. I'll be giving her a ride tomorrow. I am worried though: i'm now on two clearness committees *and* i'm opening the meetinghouse every Friday night. Oh, blondie, you've gone and overcommitted yourself!
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