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Not a productive day, yet.
Unless finishing a partition on twitter, and tuning my RSS reader, and beginning to tweak LJ & DW so that i don't see the same posts twice, and other flittery jittery data flow issues count as productivity.
Meta productivity, i guess.
The emotional turmoil around the two extremes of my work situation ("Divorce Identity from the Confederacy of Clouds command from one side, turn around to "Identity and all the other clouds will be managed through the One Project to Rule them all" edict) hasn't helped. But i did productive things, like call someone more politically respected than myself.
I've NO IDEA how i'm perceived in the home office of the Whale. I am willing to own up to there being a problem. I don't know how much is communication style, detail orientation and information density, gender, internal politics, or what. I have control over some things, no control over others. Today i recognized the battle i needed to fight was not trying to hone my communication but to urge others to deliver my message for me. I did it.
Erm, i did time cards and the kitty litter. Yay me!
I talked with my sister, in crisis about needing to be home with her spouse this weekend but having made a commitment to go with my father to join my mother in Florida. I was there when she needed me, that was productive.
I'm not itching. YAY.
My connection with others today is colored by process stuff: i don't feel connected. I have probably left more comments today than on average, partly because something in my brain is telling me i'm not connecting well enough. What is enough here?
I'm having a hard time being reasonable about spending time this evening and am falling prey to all or nothing thinking: It's either an all-nighter to do EVERYTHING, of give up and do nothing at all. I know that's a mental trap and by the power of dungeons and deskwork, i could get Enough done. Yes, this is continued procrastination, but i feel like i'm carrying so much.
I am thankful taxes aren't due on Friday: Christine and i have been Distracted. I am amused to find out why: Friday is a Federal Holiday. Really? Yes, it's April 15 — District of Columbia Emancipation Day.
Unless finishing a partition on twitter, and tuning my RSS reader, and beginning to tweak LJ & DW so that i don't see the same posts twice, and other flittery jittery data flow issues count as productivity.
Meta productivity, i guess.
The emotional turmoil around the two extremes of my work situation ("Divorce Identity from the Confederacy of Clouds command from one side, turn around to "Identity and all the other clouds will be managed through the One Project to Rule them all" edict) hasn't helped. But i did productive things, like call someone more politically respected than myself.
I've NO IDEA how i'm perceived in the home office of the Whale. I am willing to own up to there being a problem. I don't know how much is communication style, detail orientation and information density, gender, internal politics, or what. I have control over some things, no control over others. Today i recognized the battle i needed to fight was not trying to hone my communication but to urge others to deliver my message for me. I did it.
Erm, i did time cards and the kitty litter. Yay me!
I talked with my sister, in crisis about needing to be home with her spouse this weekend but having made a commitment to go with my father to join my mother in Florida. I was there when she needed me, that was productive.
I'm not itching. YAY.
My connection with others today is colored by process stuff: i don't feel connected. I have probably left more comments today than on average, partly because something in my brain is telling me i'm not connecting well enough. What is enough here?
I'm having a hard time being reasonable about spending time this evening and am falling prey to all or nothing thinking: It's either an all-nighter to do EVERYTHING, of give up and do nothing at all. I know that's a mental trap and by the power of dungeons and deskwork, i could get Enough done. Yes, this is continued procrastination, but i feel like i'm carrying so much.
I am thankful taxes aren't due on Friday: Christine and i have been Distracted. I am amused to find out why: Friday is a Federal Holiday. Really? Yes, it's April 15 — District of Columbia Emancipation Day.
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