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I missed my niece's birthday yesterday. Glad i glanced at Facebook and found that out, but i carry disgust & dismay with myself. Working on tempering that: don't want to dismiss the feeling altogether because i want to motivate myself to get back to the patterns that helped me, well, KNOWINGLY miss celebrating dates for folks. Sigh.
Did i mention i have a therapist? I have felt myself getting resentful of the elephants and wanted to make sure the elephants -- as it seems likely that they will be around for a long time -- don't damage our relationship. Christine is working as hard as possible on them, and i have to balance her desire for privacy (hence elephants) but i'll say much is out of her control. Anyhow, therapist.
We talked a bit about procrastination last visit. She's mainly acting as a coach. I know what i need to do, it just helps to have someone who can remind me of what i know and not let me weasel out. Straight talk about procrastination: just stop frittering away the time! Yeah, that is what i have to do -- and there are tricks to make use of and so on -- but ... sigh.
I realize i don't know when the redbuds went away because my glasses are broken and i'm making do with my close work glasses. I'm glad dogwood blossoms are nice and large. The lilac has bloomed -- BOOM -- and smells divine. Christine has found the shrub to be in an annoying spot, and i thought it was a boring thing. But now, wow. One azalea, as well, has been blooming like mad. Like the saucer magnolia, the azaleas that are planted are not the natives but ones from Asia that have been bred up as an ornamental. They are rather flammable, and i rather think i want the ones right up next to the house gone some day. The one that has been blooming, though, is away from the house and is a lovely red (on the blue side) and looks wonderful with the lilac. If the frost hadn't hit the saucer magnolia, it would still have wonderful pink flowers as well.
Onions and mystery bulbs are about to bloom, the peonies are as well. The pansies i rescued from the remainder bin are gorgeous, except slugs are nibbling away at them (and probably the collards). I know the potatoes are nigh a month from maturity, but i went to look anyhow, willing to give up future bulk to serve my own potatoes this weekend. Pfft, not a chance. Nothing that looked like even thoughts of tubers. So, there's that.
I am reminding myself that last summer i didn't have a place to plant ready. THIS summer i will be able to get in the autumn garden and will actually have greens to eat all winter. The baby collards and onions and one lettuce made it through the deep cold we had (thanks to the "snow", i'm sure): i am confident that it will be worth it this fall to keep them going.
Did i mention i have a therapist? I have felt myself getting resentful of the elephants and wanted to make sure the elephants -- as it seems likely that they will be around for a long time -- don't damage our relationship. Christine is working as hard as possible on them, and i have to balance her desire for privacy (hence elephants) but i'll say much is out of her control. Anyhow, therapist.
We talked a bit about procrastination last visit. She's mainly acting as a coach. I know what i need to do, it just helps to have someone who can remind me of what i know and not let me weasel out. Straight talk about procrastination: just stop frittering away the time! Yeah, that is what i have to do -- and there are tricks to make use of and so on -- but ... sigh.
I realize i don't know when the redbuds went away because my glasses are broken and i'm making do with my close work glasses. I'm glad dogwood blossoms are nice and large. The lilac has bloomed -- BOOM -- and smells divine. Christine has found the shrub to be in an annoying spot, and i thought it was a boring thing. But now, wow. One azalea, as well, has been blooming like mad. Like the saucer magnolia, the azaleas that are planted are not the natives but ones from Asia that have been bred up as an ornamental. They are rather flammable, and i rather think i want the ones right up next to the house gone some day. The one that has been blooming, though, is away from the house and is a lovely red (on the blue side) and looks wonderful with the lilac. If the frost hadn't hit the saucer magnolia, it would still have wonderful pink flowers as well.
Onions and mystery bulbs are about to bloom, the peonies are as well. The pansies i rescued from the remainder bin are gorgeous, except slugs are nibbling away at them (and probably the collards). I know the potatoes are nigh a month from maturity, but i went to look anyhow, willing to give up future bulk to serve my own potatoes this weekend. Pfft, not a chance. Nothing that looked like even thoughts of tubers. So, there's that.
I am reminding myself that last summer i didn't have a place to plant ready. THIS summer i will be able to get in the autumn garden and will actually have greens to eat all winter. The baby collards and onions and one lettuce made it through the deep cold we had (thanks to the "snow", i'm sure): i am confident that it will be worth it this fall to keep them going.
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One thing: be careful about letting a therapist be a guilt inducer. Like, you mention knowing that you can't fritter away time. Okay, so, some folks would feel guilty if they didn't do better next time. A better thing in that situation is to ask *why* you keep frittering away time, with someone who won't accept an answer like "I'm just lazy" because they want you to understand what's going on. A classic example: people try to do the wrong things at the wrong times, to sit down and write when they should do the housework, or doing the housework when they're primed to sit down and write. (Damn shame it's not always that easy! :-))