Talking to myself

[elainegrey]

I recently read an article about the benefits of talking to yourself out loud. One interesting study result:

[Ethan Kross, a professor of psychology at the University of Michigan, and colleagues] found that when their subjects talked about themselves in the second or third person — for example, “You can do this” or “Jane can do this” instead of “I can do this” — not only did they feel less anxiety while performing, but their peers also rated their performances better. Mr. Kross said this was because of self-distancing: focusing on the self from the distanced perspective of a third person, even though that person is you.

In another study:

The study concluded that motivational self-talk worked best on tasks based on speed, strength and power, while instructional self-talk worked best with tasks that involved focus, strategy and technique. In the real world, this might translate to parallel parking, following a recipe or putting together an Ikea side table.

“My bet is that self-talk works best on problems where you’re trying to stay on task and there are possible distractions,” Mr. Lupyan said. “For tasks with a multistep sequence, talking to yourself out loud can help you keep out distractions and remind yourself where you are.”

I've been wondering about my journalling and one thing i have realized is that the need to "talk through" distressing things is much lower than it has been in the past -- along with a reticence to write in any detail about the elephants. I've started seeing a therapist to talk about the elephants, although i don't think we've actually made that a topic for a while. Self compassion and self care has been the topic of the past two sessions.

[At this point, i wandered away from writing.]

Apparently the self care is a bit tender with me. Christine gently pointed out to me i'd called myself "lazy" when i handed her a block of text

[suduko]

So.... perhaps i should be writing to myself in a self care way. (And, yeah, review time is at hand and i probably am avoiding thinking about that.)


JE is critical of herself because she wants to fulfill everyone's expectations and needs, but what does she want for herself? It's ok to be tired carrying so much.

[Deleted criticism about attempt to write this.]

Here, this is what i should here: It's OK. It's going to be fine. The review doesn't need to blow your boss away. You don't need to impress anyone at work. It's OK to take photos and not share them with the world because you don't have time to sort out what's changed at flickr and so on. [Huh, i didn't know that was bothering me. Maybe i'll use Lightroom's export as web gallery function and post to my own website.]

well.