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As i suspected, the motivational difficulties of the past three days can be laid at the feet of hormonal shifting. It's just a cycle, a tide, in riding the wave of being, i tell myself, but i wish it were easier. What to do during those days? And then, the effect isn't always the same, so there are other factors and forces at work.
It's a continuing question for myself. I was depressed through my teen years and through my twenties, when i was finally diagnosed and began to face it. There came a point when i understood myself to have a choice: i could medicate and fight and force myself to do what "i" wanted, or i could choose to face my depression without meds, changing my way of living so that i could thrive. One can make many arguments for living authentically and honestly.
I can make the big choices now, i think, and i might be able to make the medium range choices, but the moment to moment choices remain hard. Some times that sense self with the will does need to stand in and force way. Probably the most helpful recently has been when that self can stand firm against more refined sugars. I'm going to need that will to exercise as what little i used to do has fallen to nothing in the past year and a half. So forcing isn't wrong, it's needed. But sometimes it's not the right way, it's fighting the tide. It's stupid to force oneself to work when sick if one has sick days (a great blessing).
So much i write here is me attempting to discern is this the wave, the flow, which i should ride and be patient (and rest) in the eddies and celebrate the occasional rapids? Or am i aground and need to shove myself back in the flow again?
Yesterday i spent "too much" time reading pre-Star Trek (2009) canon history of Spock and Kirk to see just how much has changed in this alternative timeline. I wonder if number of reviewers don't quite get that this is a different timeline when they use phrases like "Spock and Kirk haven't always been friends," as if this movie explains the observed relationship in TOS/TOU. Or perhaps that's some attempt to obfuscate.
I adored the red matter. No attempt was made to explain the stuff, no clear deduction can be made about what it is that has to be suspended yet you can stick a pipette into it. It's a sheer plot device that never needs to show its nature again. It was from a now alternative future and all the alternative future stuff but Spock prime is gone now. I'm not trying to praise plot devices, i'm just praising the lack of pseudo explanation, since i'm pretty sure i would have been disappointed with any attempt. I suppose this is the shift away from making it "hard science fiction" that some article argued was occurring with JJ Abrams' tenure at the helm.
I am a bit mystified why Star Fleet had to give Kirk the Enterprise right then and there. Seven ships have just been lost: presumably there are seven folks out wherever the Fleet was who were planning on sitting in those chairs. I suppose no one could imagine a profitable plot line where Kirk has to be second in command after that movie. Oh well.
Today has much to do, much delayed, and since i'm on that rising wave of energy i'm trying to get some of it done.
It's a continuing question for myself. I was depressed through my teen years and through my twenties, when i was finally diagnosed and began to face it. There came a point when i understood myself to have a choice: i could medicate and fight and force myself to do what "i" wanted, or i could choose to face my depression without meds, changing my way of living so that i could thrive. One can make many arguments for living authentically and honestly.
I can make the big choices now, i think, and i might be able to make the medium range choices, but the moment to moment choices remain hard. Some times that sense self with the will does need to stand in and force way. Probably the most helpful recently has been when that self can stand firm against more refined sugars. I'm going to need that will to exercise as what little i used to do has fallen to nothing in the past year and a half. So forcing isn't wrong, it's needed. But sometimes it's not the right way, it's fighting the tide. It's stupid to force oneself to work when sick if one has sick days (a great blessing).
So much i write here is me attempting to discern is this the wave, the flow, which i should ride and be patient (and rest) in the eddies and celebrate the occasional rapids? Or am i aground and need to shove myself back in the flow again?
Yesterday i spent "too much" time reading pre-Star Trek (2009) canon history of Spock and Kirk to see just how much has changed in this alternative timeline. I wonder if number of reviewers don't quite get that this is a different timeline when they use phrases like "Spock and Kirk haven't always been friends," as if this movie explains the observed relationship in TOS/TOU. Or perhaps that's some attempt to obfuscate.
I adored the red matter. No attempt was made to explain the stuff, no clear deduction can be made about what it is that has to be suspended yet you can stick a pipette into it. It's a sheer plot device that never needs to show its nature again. It was from a now alternative future and all the alternative future stuff but Spock prime is gone now. I'm not trying to praise plot devices, i'm just praising the lack of pseudo explanation, since i'm pretty sure i would have been disappointed with any attempt. I suppose this is the shift away from making it "hard science fiction" that some article argued was occurring with JJ Abrams' tenure at the helm.
I am a bit mystified why Star Fleet had to give Kirk the Enterprise right then and there. Seven ships have just been lost: presumably there are seven folks out wherever the Fleet was who were planning on sitting in those chairs. I suppose no one could imagine a profitable plot line where Kirk has to be second in command after that movie. Oh well.
Today has much to do, much delayed, and since i'm on that rising wave of energy i'm trying to get some of it done.
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