Snow and ice (morning writing, observe, weather, us, mom and caa, garden)

[elainegrey]

I'm feeling a little dislocated in time and task. I got some things i was procrastinating (retreat prep) on underway, but others remain. I feel guilt on the retreat prep: not enough outreach, and now it's a month away.

The "snow fall" -- really accumulated sleet -- lingers around our house. We're on a north slope, with tall pines to our south: passive air conditioning, i joke. In the early spring, when others have flowers, i remind myself that i appreciate it in July and August. Because Christine loves snow, i am happy it lingers here. I suspect today's rain will wash the remaining bits away before the new accumulation occurs.

Best moment - i was in the yard with Carrie under a cloudy moon when i felt like a spotlight was cast upon me. The clouds cleared and the full moon on the snow was so very bright.

There's going to be a bit of below freezing weather, and all the greens that haven't died or been eaten by rabbits, i've brought in. I just ordered rabbit fencing. I want to plant my seeds, but know it will all be mown down by the critters. I heaped the pine straw around half of the fava bean plants (to see if it makes a difference). I piled some more on where the dahlias are and the lemon grass. I don't think the lemon grass will make it. The dahlias -- maybe? I can't remember if they survived the severe winter in 2017-18. The other winters since we moved here have been mild.

https://mrcc.purdue.edu/AWSSI/chart.html?stn=RDUthr

(For US locations, this average winter severity calculation is a nice way to visualize winter weather effects. See also https://mrcc.purdue.edu/research/awssi/indexAwssi.jsp)

MLK day: went to a zoom workshop on voting rights

Tuesday: took Mom to the Nasher Art Museum to get her out from under all the construction going on (new flooring in the first floor bedrooms at M&D's house, easier to clean and roll a wheel chair on). It's the first time she and i have been out together, just us, since her stroke. The accursed pandemic has kept her so bound in.

I feel like i'm feral when i sit down at a table: i knocked a drink over.

Next step, getting oriented to her church so i can take her there.

A sense of weariness comes from that trip -- i dunno if it was all physical or grief at seeing her so stoke crippled. She noticed a custom plate on a car at a stop light. It makes me realize how present she really can be. It's hard to know how much is going on in her head, between the aphasia (she can't communicate well) and memory loss (she really can't remember some things, including things where she had such mastery and expertise, and things that happened long ago). When she gives confused responses to questions i know the answer to, i can't tell if it's communication, or if she really didn't remember or understand what happened to her just a few days prior.

Yesterday: a no drama birthday for Christine, who turned off everything and just didn't respond to people reaching out. Yay. Last year was over the top with her sister getting all overwrought.