(observe)

[elainegrey]

I love you all! Thank you for continuing to share your lives with me.

Meanwhile, thanks to draaahhhhmahhh, i've invested much emotional energy in the Quaker event planning. And that means i was behind in investing executive function energy. So i took this morning off work to round up documents and send emails to confirm hosts of events and so on and so on. It took some time for me to find compassion, mainly because i was feeling a little overwhelmed in how much executive function i've been investing, but the Report That Will make Clear All The Problems And Prompt Resolution has gone missing. When requested someone was able to find a draft that supposedly had been refined before approval. "Unfortunately, I think that this is an older version than I sent.  I believe that we remove phrases such as "[redacted]" but please rely on your own memories at this point!!!" When my co-clerk gently asked if there would be substantial changes, the reply was, "I sent you what I believe is the final draft a few days ago.  If you need me to find it again, please let me know."  (I finally said, YES PLEASE SEND and it was sent and it's better.)

I imagine the persons who are currently involved did not expect to be shouldering so much, see no process by which new folks can take over, and yet are burnt out needing to return to their life. They're trying to keep the lights on but want to leave the room. Hopefully, this retreat will resolve some way forward.

And i need the resolve to just say no to anything beyond Mid-Winter because i am nearing capacity.

Comments

[cmcmck]

Hugs

[elainegrey]

Thanks, the drama increased so revisiting these hugs is lovely!

[tamena]

you inspire me with your ability to understand that you're reaching capacity - I need to do more of that here too
*hugs* in general

[elainegrey]

Thanks, capacity exceeded this morning and the other person leading said that they wanted to go hide under a rock for a while.

[amaebi]

Horrible, but I'm glad you had comradeship.

[oracne]

I hope the retreat goes well!

[elainegrey]

I think it is, although in the role i share with another person, we're feeling a bit like organizational lightning rods.

[amaebi]

I hope that your clarity will be appreciated. I bet it will.

[elainegrey]

I've received many warm thanks, that i have appreciated. Also, it's been really hard, and there's more hurt feelings. Exhale.

[amaebi]

*gentle handpat offered*