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elainegrey: Inspired by Grypping/gripping beast styles from Nordic cultures (Default)
Friday, April 12th, 2013 06:05 am
Ug, i just realized i do have a video conference today. Do i have time to wash my hair? But i want to write....

Last night was the first successful "hangout" in the Parker Palmer workshop. Three of the four of us who attempted last week arrived and talked about the topics for an hour.

I continue to wrestle with the word and concept of community. I realized as we were ending our discussion one of the implications about the word community that discomforts me: the sense that there's a boundary. My experience is that the line people would draw around the same community is different, and i think that's why the concept of network (from a mathematical and computer science understanding) works for me.

Imagine a grid of streets, residential, extending multiple blocks and bounded by commercial streets. A geographer might call that entire area a neighborhood. Imagine that, for whatever reason, the area is divided into two different school districts. Would a parent in one district recognize a parent in another district as a member of the same community? Would a housebound person have the same perspective of who was in the community as someone who walked their dog blocks and blocks three times a day? One block might get together regularly for cookouts and other events: might a single person living on that block have a different sense of the community from a parent who also meets up with all the parents involved in the same events of their children?

My observation is that different people gauge different levels of common experience and common commitment before they consider someone in a community. Some of us are more inclusive, considering the neighbor who is only greeted when they are taking out the trash as part of the community, others see that person as holding back from the community and need to see the person engaged in other events before they would feel comfortable borrowing the proverbial cup of sugar.

When i imagine that grid of streets, i imagine the bright points of each person and the lines connecting them to others: some lines bold and strong, some lines tenuous. And while there might be a few people who have few connections, or only tenuous connections, my belief is that the interconnections of relationships more often make a larger "community" (as might be revealed in a network analysis) than an average individual might perceive.

An example http://www.guardian.co.uk/news/datablog/2013/mar/15/twitter-users-tribes-language-analysis-tweets

I suppose i am experientially aware of what is known as the Friendship paradox: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friendship_paradox

Arg, off to meetings.
elainegrey: Inspired by Grypping/gripping beast styles from Nordic cultures (Default)
Thursday, April 11th, 2013 06:43 am
I'm continuing to participate in a workshop on "habits of the heart" -- a phrase apparently due to Tocqueville, although i suspect it is important to find the appropriate translation. (See http://www.globalonenessproject.org/library/articles/five-habits-heal-heart-democracy ) We are to reflect on our strongest and weakest, and practice one.

Pick a venue where you spend time and do something this week related to your strongest or weakest habit of the heart. Notice how you feel about yourself and what happens with the other person. When the episode is over, do some journaling about it and share: What did you learn from it?

I have been otherwise occupied and spent yesterday evening listening to the lecture and the first part of the office hour. Reflecting on the five habits, and pondering weakest and strongest practice, have brought two thoughts to mind.

As Palmer discusses only three in this week's lecture, my thoughts first only addressed those three:

* An understanding that we are all in this together;
* An appreciation of the value of "otherness;" and
* An ability to hold tension in life-giving ways.

One of the venues where exercise some of these is in the journaling community in which i participate. Particularly during its heyday i valued the window it opened for me into the lives of folks who had very different life experiences from me. The web platform was designed in such a way that it could be used much like the now ubiquitous blog but it also supports a greater connection between writer and reader, as usually the writer of a journal reads the journals of those reading the writer's journal. The journals i chose to read were the intimate reflections on the author's day to day life, often raw expressions of the experience in the process of reflection.

This community of shared reflections highlights both the common human experience and the otherness simultaneously. Joy, celebration, grief, and depression resonate between the reader-writers, yet the vast differences in experience and identity meant that Western octogenarians, ivy school grad students, homeless Texans, and middle aged rape survivors could all be interconnected and sharing. I intentionally sought out folks who were different yet shared an interest so i could move from an abstract acceptance of a particular "other" to knowing a real person who happened to be different from me in this way or that.

Palmer mentions the practice of sharing stories before entering into discussions of charged topics: i think the community helped us do that. Not that "drama" -- arguments, name calling, severing of mutual reading ties -- didn't happen, but for myself, i know i could more easily read someone's angry rant knowing the deeper history behind it, knowing the other struggles and stories going on at the same time.