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Today during Worship i had two strong sense-images come to mind. One puzzles me, a sense of being feathered and fluffing up my plumage on my neck ruff and and crest. Later though, a deep emotional reaction overcame me as a sense-image of wet clay with groves of the potter's fingers. I wept for a while after that sense image came to mind, uncertain why i was weeping, but discussion with Christine after seems clear. It's a classic image of transformation, and i do continue to meditate on the creative-destructive transformative power while trying to stay open to being transformed. After this winter's depression i worry about being open to transformation, worry whether i can trust that there will be replenishment for all that is consumed. I come home tired and weary. "Worship. You're doing it wrong," lol-cats through my head. Shouldn't i return from worship filled and replenished? Like therapy, like exercise, i don't think it's entirely a bad sign if i'm tired after worship. Wiccan circles acknowledge the energy expended and often plan to have food ready after a circle. I'm not just sitting there doing nothing in the hour.
I also spent time today holding Christine in mind. I worry about how she longs for people who will reach out to her, how much she needs a mentor, and how in balance against that is a prickliness, a lack of trust. I think back a decade plus to when she was willing to work with a therapist on how she didn't trust people, how she was investing time into a couple of start ups with some experienced business men, and how the therapist turned out to be part of a cult. Meanwhile, the dot com bubble burst, and with the distance of being a continent away from her colleagues, those relationships dissipated. I rather think she hasn't wanted to contact those men since transitioning.
--==∞==--
This morning i was tippity tapping when i realized that if i was going to make a pie of the sad wizened fruit in the fridge, i'd need to start there and then. So, one fruit pie with coconut crust:
preheat oven to 350°
1 c flaked coconut
1 c sweet rice flour
4 tbsp Smart Balance
mix til crumbly, add a little hot water to bring it to pastry texture, press into pan, bake for 10 min. (Maybe hotter next time?)
Random fruit from fridge ended up being roughly a fist-full of grapes, two apricots, three pluots at puree stage, one old peach, one old nectarine, one half sad nectarine, one old kiwi. Ended up with two cups in a glass measure with 1/4 c sugar. Microwave on high for 10 min. Added corn starch, probably 1 1/2 tbsp, stirred, decanted into crust. Pulled the crust that was higher than the surface of the filling down around the edges, sprinkled with more coconut. 20 min more at 350 and it was just beginning to toast.
Not too sweet, but plenty sweet naturally. The crust is chewy in the way macaroons are chewy: it's rather satisfying and beats the soggy pie crusts i used to make.
I whisked off to coffee with my ex-colleagues, then opened meeting and had a very pleasant chat with BG (recently of our meeting) who is visiting from NC. She told me some things about RTP-area meetings: apparently the Durham meeting is quite large. I ponder attending that one the next time i'm in the area if my sister & her family are able to join me. (The small Chapel Hill meeting has seemed comfortable to me, so far, when i visit.) Home, to chat with Christine, got a rug settled (finally, since The Carpet Cleaning), and also put up the last of the glassware from The Carpet Cleaning. The afternoon progressed with some correspondence completed and the annual viewing of Jaws. The DVD is boxed, awaiting Phase II of The Hall project, so we watched the Netflix streaming -- but did not watch Jaws II, III, or IV, also on Netflix. I actually did some crochet while the movie played: a cover for the fraying handle on my favorite Libery of London pattern tote. My sister in law called: we now have plans to see her & the kids on Wednesday and the weekend of the 17th. We puttered some more: Google notified us of a phishing site being run from our server: our phpMyAdmin was far out of date and had been exploited. It's off: i hope we found everything. I feel weary. An attempted early evening nap failed, and i finished reading Book 1 of The Moth.
Right now fireworks are booming around the bay. I feel tired still, tried an onion/celery/zucchini dish and a vicken patty or a late dinner. Yesterday i fell asleep while watching a video with Christine: this is incredibly rare for me. I suspect the adrenaline of returning from travel to significant changes at work has finally worn off and i'm getting the rest i need.
I don't think i'm going to get to making dye this weekend: then again, maybe i will. Next weekend would be great for dyeing clothes. I do want to plan my next quarter this weekend.
I also spent time today holding Christine in mind. I worry about how she longs for people who will reach out to her, how much she needs a mentor, and how in balance against that is a prickliness, a lack of trust. I think back a decade plus to when she was willing to work with a therapist on how she didn't trust people, how she was investing time into a couple of start ups with some experienced business men, and how the therapist turned out to be part of a cult. Meanwhile, the dot com bubble burst, and with the distance of being a continent away from her colleagues, those relationships dissipated. I rather think she hasn't wanted to contact those men since transitioning.
--==∞==--
This morning i was tippity tapping when i realized that if i was going to make a pie of the sad wizened fruit in the fridge, i'd need to start there and then. So, one fruit pie with coconut crust:
preheat oven to 350°
1 c flaked coconut
1 c sweet rice flour
4 tbsp Smart Balance
mix til crumbly, add a little hot water to bring it to pastry texture, press into pan, bake for 10 min. (Maybe hotter next time?)
Random fruit from fridge ended up being roughly a fist-full of grapes, two apricots, three pluots at puree stage, one old peach, one old nectarine, one half sad nectarine, one old kiwi. Ended up with two cups in a glass measure with 1/4 c sugar. Microwave on high for 10 min. Added corn starch, probably 1 1/2 tbsp, stirred, decanted into crust. Pulled the crust that was higher than the surface of the filling down around the edges, sprinkled with more coconut. 20 min more at 350 and it was just beginning to toast.
Not too sweet, but plenty sweet naturally. The crust is chewy in the way macaroons are chewy: it's rather satisfying and beats the soggy pie crusts i used to make.
I whisked off to coffee with my ex-colleagues, then opened meeting and had a very pleasant chat with BG (recently of our meeting) who is visiting from NC. She told me some things about RTP-area meetings: apparently the Durham meeting is quite large. I ponder attending that one the next time i'm in the area if my sister & her family are able to join me. (The small Chapel Hill meeting has seemed comfortable to me, so far, when i visit.) Home, to chat with Christine, got a rug settled (finally, since The Carpet Cleaning), and also put up the last of the glassware from The Carpet Cleaning. The afternoon progressed with some correspondence completed and the annual viewing of Jaws. The DVD is boxed, awaiting Phase II of The Hall project, so we watched the Netflix streaming -- but did not watch Jaws II, III, or IV, also on Netflix. I actually did some crochet while the movie played: a cover for the fraying handle on my favorite Libery of London pattern tote. My sister in law called: we now have plans to see her & the kids on Wednesday and the weekend of the 17th. We puttered some more: Google notified us of a phishing site being run from our server: our phpMyAdmin was far out of date and had been exploited. It's off: i hope we found everything. I feel weary. An attempted early evening nap failed, and i finished reading Book 1 of The Moth.
Right now fireworks are booming around the bay. I feel tired still, tried an onion/celery/zucchini dish and a vicken patty or a late dinner. Yesterday i fell asleep while watching a video with Christine: this is incredibly rare for me. I suspect the adrenaline of returning from travel to significant changes at work has finally worn off and i'm getting the rest i need.
I don't think i'm going to get to making dye this weekend: then again, maybe i will. Next weekend would be great for dyeing clothes. I do want to plan my next quarter this weekend.
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