![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
"Days like this happen, and i am taking good care of myself."
That's the framing my therapist gave me for Thursday.
Yesterday, i still had a headache when i woke, and i decided to really indulge myself in rest. In the morning i wrote two emails on behalf of Oversight. I had hoped part of the stress was around my concern about how to help someone see that there are boundaries for what the community will do for and with someone.
As a bit of a meta-reflection, while i was trying to watch The Fountainhead i was recalling my youthful idealization of anarchy and libertarianism and Ayn Rand, remember my mother trying to explain to me how important community is. I don't remember when i shifted my opinion, but it was definitely a shift that came from adult experience. The idealization that i could hold as a young adult was only possible because i had lived such a privileged and sheltered life. Far from perfect, and certainly not a life of luxury but of thrift, but a life where food and shelter and safety were always available. I probably have a greater belief now than my mother had in the social contracts we enter into, and a greater belief that that those contracts must be adjusted to address all people with justice.
In trying to cast light on these boundaries for this other person, so the other might discover the boundaries in a way that makes sense, i find myself wrestling with the issue of justice and fairness. If a person has a cognitive difference or a very different personality, how much accommodation should a community make? Here, the biggest tension is between the Quaker practice of group discernment and that the subject of concern seems to be unwilling or uninterested in following the results of that process unless it is the result that agrees with that person's desires. We need the voice of prophets, people who ignore the safe comfort of the community to call out for change -- but what does it mean if the prophet does not have care for the persons working to help the prophet achieve the vision? If the prophet's heart is broken open for those people There, but these people Here are just tools to help them over There? How much callous abuse of individuals is OK to help others?
Part of why Friends' process towards justice and change is so slow is because of an attempt to be comprehensive in recognizing that of the Divine in every person. The case study Friends offer for themselves is the work around the issue of slavery in the American colonies. The turning point for Friends was with the ministry of John Woolman -- beginning in 1746. He died without seeing the Society of Friends in unity against slavery, but such unity did come. His practice though was not one of preaching condemnation but listening compassionately to slave owning Quakers as well as living a life congruent with his belief that slavery was wrong.
The slow process certainly means that those suffering injustice continue to suffer injustice, but i have my doubts that faster processes of change (by force, by edict) bring about a just way of being.
Later today i will likely "labor with" this person over the phone. My hope is that i can illumine the boundary for the person to discover, a boundary that is open for this person but requires mutual effort. I have to expect that i'm going to fail to see any evidence of success, though. There's the fact that many other Friends have labored with this person, and just the sensible fact that i cannot be attached to outcomes.
* I need to get exercise: indeed, i may have already missed the sun light of today. Fiddlesticks.
* I need to write my quarterly report.
I'm suspecting i'm not eating well although i have a hard time pointing to any meal i'm short shifting myself on. We'll see how a walk helps.
Last night i heard the New Century Chamber Orchestra in Palo Alto. I was expecting a community and amateur performance but was impressed by the incredible professional performance. Only fifteen minutes away! And not on 101! And parking was easy! Christine deserves incredible music in her life, and while i appreciate the artistry of the San Francisco symphony, my the cost of tickets plus the drive and the parking and the traffic.... Well, these tickets aren't cheap, but it's so close! I should encourage Christine to pick out tickets for this spring.
25 March: http://www.ncco.org/1011season/masteryofschubert.htm
21 May: http://www.ncco.org/1011season/worldpremiere.htm
The performance last night: http://www.ncco.org/1011season/waltzinginappalachia.htm
Bach (arr. Sitkovetsky): Goldberg Variations
Mark O’Connor: Song of the Liberty Bell
Mark O’Connor: Strings and Threads
Mark O’Connor, violin
Mark O’Connor: Appalachia Waltz
Not at all Copland-y, thank heavens, because i find Copland annoying. The Goldberg Variations were an amazing marathon performance and somewhat taxed my ability to listen, but i became utterly enthralled by the concertmaster and first violinist of this group that performs without a conductor.
That's the framing my therapist gave me for Thursday.
Yesterday, i still had a headache when i woke, and i decided to really indulge myself in rest. In the morning i wrote two emails on behalf of Oversight. I had hoped part of the stress was around my concern about how to help someone see that there are boundaries for what the community will do for and with someone.
As a bit of a meta-reflection, while i was trying to watch The Fountainhead i was recalling my youthful idealization of anarchy and libertarianism and Ayn Rand, remember my mother trying to explain to me how important community is. I don't remember when i shifted my opinion, but it was definitely a shift that came from adult experience. The idealization that i could hold as a young adult was only possible because i had lived such a privileged and sheltered life. Far from perfect, and certainly not a life of luxury but of thrift, but a life where food and shelter and safety were always available. I probably have a greater belief now than my mother had in the social contracts we enter into, and a greater belief that that those contracts must be adjusted to address all people with justice.
In trying to cast light on these boundaries for this other person, so the other might discover the boundaries in a way that makes sense, i find myself wrestling with the issue of justice and fairness. If a person has a cognitive difference or a very different personality, how much accommodation should a community make? Here, the biggest tension is between the Quaker practice of group discernment and that the subject of concern seems to be unwilling or uninterested in following the results of that process unless it is the result that agrees with that person's desires. We need the voice of prophets, people who ignore the safe comfort of the community to call out for change -- but what does it mean if the prophet does not have care for the persons working to help the prophet achieve the vision? If the prophet's heart is broken open for those people There, but these people Here are just tools to help them over There? How much callous abuse of individuals is OK to help others?
Part of why Friends' process towards justice and change is so slow is because of an attempt to be comprehensive in recognizing that of the Divine in every person. The case study Friends offer for themselves is the work around the issue of slavery in the American colonies. The turning point for Friends was with the ministry of John Woolman -- beginning in 1746. He died without seeing the Society of Friends in unity against slavery, but such unity did come. His practice though was not one of preaching condemnation but listening compassionately to slave owning Quakers as well as living a life congruent with his belief that slavery was wrong.
The slow process certainly means that those suffering injustice continue to suffer injustice, but i have my doubts that faster processes of change (by force, by edict) bring about a just way of being.
Later today i will likely "labor with" this person over the phone. My hope is that i can illumine the boundary for the person to discover, a boundary that is open for this person but requires mutual effort. I have to expect that i'm going to fail to see any evidence of success, though. There's the fact that many other Friends have labored with this person, and just the sensible fact that i cannot be attached to outcomes.
* I need to get exercise: indeed, i may have already missed the sun light of today. Fiddlesticks.
* I need to write my quarterly report.
I'm suspecting i'm not eating well although i have a hard time pointing to any meal i'm short shifting myself on. We'll see how a walk helps.
Last night i heard the New Century Chamber Orchestra in Palo Alto. I was expecting a community and amateur performance but was impressed by the incredible professional performance. Only fifteen minutes away! And not on 101! And parking was easy! Christine deserves incredible music in her life, and while i appreciate the artistry of the San Francisco symphony, my the cost of tickets plus the drive and the parking and the traffic.... Well, these tickets aren't cheap, but it's so close! I should encourage Christine to pick out tickets for this spring.
25 March: http://www.ncco.org/1011season/masteryofschubert.htm
21 May: http://www.ncco.org/1011season/worldpremiere.htm
The performance last night: http://www.ncco.org/1011season/waltzinginappalachia.htm
Bach (arr. Sitkovetsky): Goldberg Variations
Mark O’Connor: Song of the Liberty Bell
Mark O’Connor: Strings and Threads
Mark O’Connor, violin
Mark O’Connor: Appalachia Waltz
Not at all Copland-y, thank heavens, because i find Copland annoying. The Goldberg Variations were an amazing marathon performance and somewhat taxed my ability to listen, but i became utterly enthralled by the concertmaster and first violinist of this group that performs without a conductor.
Tags: