Settling back in, mostly

Monday i flew home, getting up in the dark, the flight taking off in the soft dawn. The airport was air conditioned enough that i could wear the jacket i was wearing when i left California, and i was able to snuggle down into it to sleep on the plane a bit. The lay over in Dallas was long enough for me to read LJ entries and realize that if the day wasn't going to be a complete blur, i'd need caffeine.

The Dallas to San Jose leg was with a pilot who announced the landmarks as we flew over them, and i was able to squish out two posts to my grey cat blog on the EVO. "Squish" is close to the right way of describing the use of the virtual keyboard. One was about the conference i attended, so it made me feel very good to get that professional commitment off my to do list, and the other was collecting the references i'd collected by taking photos of books and maps.

Other than being completely booked and witnessing some poor behavior around carry-on luggage, the flights were all fine. I did notice on one of the American Airlines flights that the announced list of things that disqualify something from being carry on luggage included not being able to lift it yourself. This reminded me of something i read about someone with a physical impairment traveling and having an altercation with the airline staff over not receiving help with her carry-on. If it really is policy, it should be regularly announced.

Christine picked me up, and i was very ready for lunch (and thought perhaps i was going to have a gentle shift back to California time zones). We had sushi at a nearby place (the one near Costco) that is under new management. We think it may be an upgrade to the food; the long menu of sushi rolls named after tech companies is gone, though. I splurged on a few books at the comic book store and we picked up some birdseed. And then i was home.

Copying the image of my operating system back worked well, and then i could sync my phone as the license for Missing Sync seemed unable to work on the different system. Another application that didn't quite work on the firewire drive was Lightroom. It hadn't thought through how the images are stored on a separate partition, and it would take fiddling to change the path to the firewire copies of the images. In the end, it was remarkable to see how well Lightroom coped with just the catalog when i used it to show off photos to my family.

My mom really thinks i should try to get my photos shown. I'm delighted to share them with family and friends and random web passer-bys, but i'm not sure the additional effort to share them more broadly would add to my delight.

At this point in this morning writing, i switch back to the grey cat blog and write an entry about the graveyard photographs i transcribed on Monday afternoon. While i did not see the graves of my ancestors, the graves are likely of interest to other genealogists.

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My work worries seem mostly to have been dispelled. Despite changes in the org chart, i will still report to my boss of the past ten years. Other work thoughts in a short locked post to come.

I was exhausted by yesterday afternoon, and coffee didn't lift the dullness. I awoke again in the wee hours this morning. I realize i lack confidence in the phone alarms (especially if the "sleep timer" might run into the "wake to playlist") and that's not helping. I should probably experiment with behaviors when i am fully alert to confirm the "observations" i've made.

The Birkman Method and Depression

I just took the Birkman Method test for a "team building" exercise (see new org structure). I've been "acting out" since, and i think there are two reasons

(1) childhood experience with my mother wielding any label she could get her hands on as a weapon (from astrological sign to Meyers Briggs)

and

(2) A great deal of the questions essentially had me asserting, yes, i get depressed, tired, and feel despair.

As a side note, the person who will be interpreting the test for me is someone i don't particularly hold in high regard.

I've just wrote a friend who is in the testing industry to see what she thinks abou how the test spins depression.

I don't think my depression would be considered severe enough to qualify for ADA protections, thus there is no good reason to disclose to my employer. It certainly colors my experience, though, and i know i struggle with my own mistaken belief that i should just be able to "will" myself better.

I'm a little anxious to be talking about my needs with someone whose interests are with the organization first: i worry i will disclose more than i should due to long habit of talking with therapists.

Sigh.

Too many posts? Sorry!

Re Edward: we are letting him out during the day. Christine caught sight of a raccoon on our roof last week at dusk. We suspect that it's a raccoon that's bit him twice on the rump, and Christine surmises that if we bring Edward in before the raccoons are likely to be roaming, we will be fine.

This means we have to fix the screen doors asap, because the lack of air conditioning is acceptable when we can bring in cool night air. (Edward broke the doors down late last summer, but they hadn't been in good shape. Like all the other doors in the apartment where hinges have had springs break through plastic or guides have broken, our years in this apartment seem to coincide with the end of life of many of the moving parts. I keep thinking it's me.) While i believe i could do a tolerable job fixing the sliding screen doors, we're going to throw money at the issue and have someone install very nice doors that also include a lockable pet door.

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My brain has been useless since taking the Birkman thing. I'm wondering about allergens, procrastination, a drop in vitamin D (which i haven't taken for days).

Probably partly just delayed reaction to the stress of being away: suddenly there is no pressure except a deadline that has already been FUBARed.