(no subject)

I'd forgotten there was a 6 am call Friday morning, and remembered just in time the next morning. We are doing an install on Sunday in the wee hours, and everyone is in a bit of a dither.

I'd also blown off taking an antihistamine, which was evidentially an error. I had a second pot of tea and a claritin to help try to beat back the fog of spring.

Midafternoon, 5 pm on the east coast, i dozed off watching Wild China's Tibet episode.

In gaps i was reflecting on my discernment about direction: i'm not as clear as i have been in the past, and know my fears about job hunting. When i tell myself that perhaps the right thing to do is stay put, valuing stability, and support Christine through grad school, i wonder if i am listening to fear. The AFSC is advertising a regional director job. I feel i must make myself respond to this opportunity.

Last night we spent at a neighbor's, listening to more of her struggles to deal with the challenges of insurance companies, workman's compensation, and chronic pain. Christine has found some local agencies that may be able to help her directly with the large issues. I ponder helping her get her laundry done.

Today i'm attending a workshop on aging at the Meeting.

I can tell i continue to wrestle with depression. A friend posted her story of being overwhelmed, of getting behind on one set of correspondence and that blocking another and blocking another. I think of a to-do item that has been on my list since mid December, the performance appraisals that are late -- and i'm thinking about spending time looking for another job? Paralysis happens.