(no subject)

When i left home yesterday it was clear, no clouds, not by bay or mountains. Very light dew. We are in a heat wave of sorts. When i left the office at 6:30 i was impressed by the heat i walked into: it was 90 in San Mateo then. There were only three gulls, a duck and two egrets at the water feature, which seemed to be very few, comparatively. It was also quite clear in the evening, not even fog snaking over the hills. October is our best beach month.

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I probably let myself get over-heated on the way home, but i know i wasn't feeling particularly motivated as i left work. I indulged in sugar in the middle of the afternoon: a mistake, i know. This is my addiction. I did have a good dinner when i got home: a black-eyed pea and cucumber salad i'd planned. I didn't do my "conditions of enoughness." I'll try again tonight, particularly with the housework items. My brother will spend the night with us Wednesday & Tuesday night, so i should prep for that disruption.

Learning how to balance is so hard for me.

Meanwhile, i woke this morning to all hell breaking loose at work. The question of drawing the line between work and self time is hard, too. I held back and let others contact me.

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I feel like i am ... different these days. Different from last year. I don't know if i am getting more and more consumed by work or what. Work and crochet? Is my being somewhat at peace with work creating a vacuum that work is then filling? I feel shallow-ish, as if i have no interesting thoughts.

On the other hand, maybe i am redirecting my focus from self examination to actually moving forward, thriving? That would be different! And would i recognize thriving?

Time to get ready for the commute. (Late, actually)

(no subject)

Tomorrow is an early start day, so i'm starting journalling now.

We joined our power company's "Smart Rate" program where we pay a lower rate except for up to 15 days over the smart rate season, May through October. Six months, 15 days. We signed up the last day in August. We've had five smart days, i think, and another tomorrow. I discovered this announcement:

Due to the current mild summer in California, on July 1, 2012 PG&E dropped the average trigger temperature for the 5 service areas from 96 degrees to 94 degrees. On August 15, 2012 PG&E once again dropped the average trigger temperature from 94 degrees to 92 degrees.

Ah-ha, it's not my imagination: the number of days does skew towards more later. (Typical use it or loose it budget behavior.)

When i look at our power use, i'm mystified: do we have a particularly wasteful fridge and stove? I'd blame the computers, but when i look at time blocks where we intentionally turned off all the optional power use, it doesn't seem dramatically different from overnight when things are in standby. (Yeah, i know, it's still power being used.) I think my next analysis trick will be to track use of the dishwasher. I think Christine has used the "sterilize" function on occasion: that could be a cause for occasional spikes, but maybe it's also cooking.

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Where does the time go? I suppose i should move on to a few things so i don't feel i've let myself down. I will feed the cats, go ride the stationary bike in the dark for 25 min (Oct 1 was a longer goal and i'll go with it, even if i rarely met September's goal), and then do some cleaning. Then to bed.

Then to tomorrow.

Hmm, i guess i won't rearrange the lounge for my brother's arrival because Christine will want to use it tomorrow.