(garden, f&f, health, 0.time, 1.self)

Mom's last bouquet

HABITS & HEALTH

So i was able to get back on to some level of habits this week, and i think the week of Mom's death i was able to keep on top of my meds, teeth care, and some exercise. I didn't do other things (like keeping records). My sister said she forgot all her meds over the week of Mom's death, so i get to tell myself that i am developing habits that happen without super intentional frameworks to hold them up.

This past week i tried to get back in the swing of the habits i've tried to develop. I didn't journal on Friday and some other things didn't happen. By by the end of the week i was feeling a little better about my work day being focused.

I am loosing weight, maybe a pound a month? If you squint and cross your fingers behind your back? I am glad i've not put on weight during the past two weeks.

Today i leave for Ohio & work, and i am somewhat cranky about the disruption. Given the forced hybrid work my colleagues must face, in the office for three days a week, i am gritting my teeth. I will drive, and i will wear a mask in the office.

The asthma flare persist: fie.

I note that with the asthma flare and Mom's death, i will have a hard time telling just how much better the CPAP makes my cognitive state. I have adapted to sleeping with it: it was somewhat nice to have the sleep disruption during the same the week of disruption and fog that came with Mom's death. I haven't had a moment where i've experienced any sense of "better." It's hard to know. See asthma flare.

The nurse practitioner, the only person one can get an appointment with within a week, doubled my inhaled steroid use. I've already made the appointment for the "if you are not feeling better in two weeks."

In other breathing news, my sister writes

PS just had dental check up. I’m coming back in to get a night guard and to discuss proper breathing techniques. Evidently I suck at breathing. Having surgery at 27 to correct breathing didn’t fix everything without someone talking to me about how to breathe properly. Sigh.
Dentist would love to compare our mouths 😉 I told him all about your breathing/face pain/tmj stuff.

I've been told i hyperventilate, which i think is the quick shallow breath through my mouth. I look forward to ditching the asthma flare, getting my nose fixed as my sister did, and then i will try to train myself to breathe deeply and regularly through my nose.


SISTER

Saturday i joined my sister and her early teen E--. I wonder if i should be saying daughter? E-- presents kinda fem, but that doesn't have to align with pronouns, does it. "As of right now I use any pronouns, so you can use she/he/they and I don’t have any preference! Thanks for asking." (I think that's hard for Christine to hear since she has to struggle with being misgendered. "Don't have any preference" is hard to for her map. I suspect it is more of a willingness to be open.)

Anyhow, i joined them in going to Apex's Pride festival. It was surreal because i went to high school in Apex aeons ago and the town was far outside of the sprawl then. And ... Pride? pish, any sort of gender or sexual identity other than straight binary... so not on the radar then. So amazing to see how different things are today.

Friday night i joined L as she had over two moms who had organized dinners for L during Mom's stroke and after. It was interesting being with Other Women. There was laughter over ( disturbing pet dog narratives )

--- i'm sure these are generally kind people but i am no longer able to listen without being disturbed later.

I appreciate the constant exposure to Christine's sense of compassion and justice, and regret i could not advocate more forcefully that for not taking some things lightly.

GARDEN

For lunch today had two yellow summer squash with Brassica oleracea collards/cabbage/broccoli/kale greens from the garden. I think one squash was a "cube of butter" but i also planted an early summer crookneck and a summer crookneck and then ruined my labeling so i am now confused by which plants are between the labels.

Blackberries are coming in, the middle blueberry has just started. I've had one mulberry, which was small and insipid and not sweet. Christine burst into tears when i proposed i could cut the tree down and replace it with a well known variety. So, good to know, she's bonded with the trees in the orchard having seen it grow so tall from a spindly stick so quickly. I will admit having felt a pang at the thought, but the plant selection practice seemed responsible. I mainly got the mulberry for the birds. This is supposed to be a native red mulberry, and many of the selections, like Illinois Everbearing, are crosses with non-native Morus alba.

Poppies and borage and yarrow all bloom in the driveway center garden, along with a gold cherry tomato that has set two ripe fruit. A coreopsis i bought this spring blooms near the persimmon along with adorable Barbara's Buttons. The white phlox was pretty much at its end on May 30th, and the "flamingo" pink is the one blooming now. Some blue eyed grass still bloom, and the day lilies -- transplanted from where the previous owners had them -- have started with bold yellow blooms. I've picked one gladiolus -- the pink one compared to the peachy one -- and it has opened a few blossoms at the base of its spear.

Japanese beetles have shown up.

I would like to get some Hemerocallis fulva, the common daylily and start growing as part of my perennial vegetable garden. https://www.eattheweeds.com/daylily-just-cloning-around-2/ I see some are growing across the street and i ponder roadside theft. (They're invasive weeds, right? https://choosenatives.org/articles/ditch-the-ditch-lily/)