![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
This week has been strange for me.
On one hand, the intense work has been good, productive work. Looking at my spoon analysis, though, it's been very expensive.
I have to context switch through meetings on different topics, but the uninterrupted nature of the series of meetings has a stamina surcharge, as well. And then, as it is all meetings, it's the most expensive interactions. I think hiking all day would be less draining.
Evenings haven't been "used" for anything but recovery. The birthday celebration was wonderfully celebratory, and created a warm glow of joy in the middle of the week. Last night i came home, ate the yummy dinner Christine had prepared (blackeyed peas and an experimental cornbread), watched a show with her, and went to bed. It's been like that.
This weekend has a Memorial Meeting Saturday afternoon, and i greet on Sunday. Monday morning at 7 i'm flying to Ohio for two days of planning meetings and then an as yet not-booked-full day.
Today i've actually blocked calendar time for lunch (i did that yesterday, too).
It's not been a bad week: it's been more of a holding pattern, a waiting room, a long layover. I've gone shopping in my closet and worn a skirt that now fits beautifully; i've worn new jeans (well "twill slacks") that fit well (just have that regrettable waist three inches below my waist). My forced narcissus are actually blooming for my birthday (crocus: still no bloom, amaryllis: barely an inch of a leaf). I've delighted in my morning birthday tea, the Mélange de Chamonix.
I wish i had the spoons to interact with friends (thank yous, responding to invitations, engaging online), but i know i don't. I feel proud that i have been able to frame my energy costs so i can understand that i have run out of spoons, instead of beating myself up for not having the interaction energy i need to meet my wants. I can discern needs vs wants, identify the communications that -- even if i haven't quite yet trained myself to see them as satisfying -- will help me feel settled. (Remaining on that list, letter to grandparents.)
Eeek! Time
On one hand, the intense work has been good, productive work. Looking at my spoon analysis, though, it's been very expensive.
I have to context switch through meetings on different topics, but the uninterrupted nature of the series of meetings has a stamina surcharge, as well. And then, as it is all meetings, it's the most expensive interactions. I think hiking all day would be less draining.
Evenings haven't been "used" for anything but recovery. The birthday celebration was wonderfully celebratory, and created a warm glow of joy in the middle of the week. Last night i came home, ate the yummy dinner Christine had prepared (blackeyed peas and an experimental cornbread), watched a show with her, and went to bed. It's been like that.
This weekend has a Memorial Meeting Saturday afternoon, and i greet on Sunday. Monday morning at 7 i'm flying to Ohio for two days of planning meetings and then an as yet not-booked-full day.
Today i've actually blocked calendar time for lunch (i did that yesterday, too).
It's not been a bad week: it's been more of a holding pattern, a waiting room, a long layover. I've gone shopping in my closet and worn a skirt that now fits beautifully; i've worn new jeans (well "twill slacks") that fit well (just have that regrettable waist three inches below my waist). My forced narcissus are actually blooming for my birthday (crocus: still no bloom, amaryllis: barely an inch of a leaf). I've delighted in my morning birthday tea, the Mélange de Chamonix.
I wish i had the spoons to interact with friends (thank yous, responding to invitations, engaging online), but i know i don't. I feel proud that i have been able to frame my energy costs so i can understand that i have run out of spoons, instead of beating myself up for not having the interaction energy i need to meet my wants. I can discern needs vs wants, identify the communications that -- even if i haven't quite yet trained myself to see them as satisfying -- will help me feel settled. (Remaining on that list, letter to grandparents.)
Eeek! Time
Tags: