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Nine years ago plus a couple of days, i came out to my folks. I've no regrets.
Christine wrote about it as i was too engaged with work and family and travel.
Racing The Rain
Yesterday EG shared the news of my gender transition with her parents during a carefully coordinated get together in DC where her bother (NB) and sister-in-law (MMB) live. Her sister (LB) was also there. We had already shared the news with siblings, and they graciously and gratefully volunteered to be there when we told her parents (dad RB, mom MB). I had originally wanted to be present, but the magic of couples therapy led us to conclude it best if EG did this without me so that her parents could respond candidly.
EG says her siblings had feared a worse response than was received. "Well, that went just fine," she called to say. RB had heard a piece on transsexuals on NPR and portrayed sympathy of a sort. MB, who has made no secret that she felt EG's marriage to me was a bad idea from early on, portrayed a concerning non-chalance and wanted to change the subject.
Well, it could be worse. I want to avoid all the tempting trappings of sarcastic emotional responses: what a gift to the mother-in-law who told-you-so, a transsexual! Perfect. I made the mistake of watching a recent HBO film called "Normal" on Sunday morning to distract myself from obsessing over the situation. Ugh, what a heart-wrenching scene when the preacher comes to visit the spouse to give her "permission" to walk away. The widow response.
Last night I went for a short walk down to the beach as a spring rain storm approached. It is a breathtaking view, so there are normally at least forty or fifty people on it. Last night, as the sky and water turned to slate I was given a blessing of solitude. I climb the hundreds of stairs up the cliff, covered now with purple flowers, stopping only twice. In recent months I have shed some weight and introduced daily exercise into my routine...I can feel it now. The drug of latent health.
This morning I read in a wonderful book by Andrew Soloman "The Noonday Demon". Letters to the author from a chronic depressive include poetic gems. She wishes for an "acceptable cancer" she could tell people about instead of maddening depression. Her dogs provide her with "the only really numinous moments". She becomes so self-aware the "I" on her keyboard becomes a trigger. I can hear the sound effect Michael Mann would want in a movie as the camera zooms in on fingers typing in slow motion...boom.....boom.....boom.
Only love
Can bring the rain
That makes you yearn to the sky.
Only love
Can bring the rain
That falls like tears from on high.
Christine wrote about it as i was too engaged with work and family and travel.
Yesterday EG shared the news of my gender transition with her parents during a carefully coordinated get together in DC where her bother (NB) and sister-in-law (MMB) live. Her sister (LB) was also there. We had already shared the news with siblings, and they graciously and gratefully volunteered to be there when we told her parents (dad RB, mom MB). I had originally wanted to be present, but the magic of couples therapy led us to conclude it best if EG did this without me so that her parents could respond candidly.
EG says her siblings had feared a worse response than was received. "Well, that went just fine," she called to say. RB had heard a piece on transsexuals on NPR and portrayed sympathy of a sort. MB, who has made no secret that she felt EG's marriage to me was a bad idea from early on, portrayed a concerning non-chalance and wanted to change the subject.
Well, it could be worse. I want to avoid all the tempting trappings of sarcastic emotional responses: what a gift to the mother-in-law who told-you-so, a transsexual! Perfect. I made the mistake of watching a recent HBO film called "Normal" on Sunday morning to distract myself from obsessing over the situation. Ugh, what a heart-wrenching scene when the preacher comes to visit the spouse to give her "permission" to walk away. The widow response.
Last night I went for a short walk down to the beach as a spring rain storm approached. It is a breathtaking view, so there are normally at least forty or fifty people on it. Last night, as the sky and water turned to slate I was given a blessing of solitude. I climb the hundreds of stairs up the cliff, covered now with purple flowers, stopping only twice. In recent months I have shed some weight and introduced daily exercise into my routine...I can feel it now. The drug of latent health.
This morning I read in a wonderful book by Andrew Soloman "The Noonday Demon". Letters to the author from a chronic depressive include poetic gems. She wishes for an "acceptable cancer" she could tell people about instead of maddening depression. Her dogs provide her with "the only really numinous moments". She becomes so self-aware the "I" on her keyboard becomes a trigger. I can hear the sound effect Michael Mann would want in a movie as the camera zooms in on fingers typing in slow motion...boom.....boom.....boom.
Only love
Can bring the rain
That makes you yearn to the sky.
Only love
Can bring the rain
That falls like tears from on high.
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I am surprised to read that you two have been together so long! You write about your relationship with great comfort and joy, but also the excitement that folks in new relationships have. It warms my heart. :)
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