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Care Check-In
This past week (plus) i've not had any high stress with work. The Project development team is on track and on time. Major bugs are being addressed with the Product. It's allowed me to take a sick day a week ago, take some vacation time on Wednesday (unplanned, i got distracted by thinking about membership in Friends), and for me to usually leave the office feeling a sense of "done." I hope that i can practice some discipline here: i feel like i have enough reservoir that i don't need to collapse to recover. This is so amazingly novel! Instead of having the adrenaline rush of pressure withdrawn and collapsing, i feel instead that i can continue to be motivated. It's great!
Have i been using those tools that i know make my life better? (Or that i'm experimenting with?)
I'm getting tired of the diet experiment, especially as i've been in a flare since the 14th. Bleh. The experiment will stop in November. I have asked for a colonoscopy appointment in the second week of November, and three days before the procedure i am advised to "Avoid eating nuts, seeds, popcorn, grapes, green peas, beans and tomatoes." Argh. (Fibers from collards and broccoli are fine though?) I will need eggs and dairy then, i think. Then there's holiday travel, and i don't want to draw my mother's attention to my complaints with my diet (she is traumatized enough by our pescitarian diet).
I have been keeping to only one pot of tea in the morning and drinking the herbal teas at work; and i'm also exploring chamomile as a relaxant when i feel the tension of the flare.
I do think that the bread-free diet is making a big difference in my sense of having a reserve, though. I don't know how well i can stay wheat free when i relax off the experiment, but i do intend to try and limit. I binged on spice drops this week: that's not helpful i'm sure.
It's the season to need more light, and i am doing a good job bathing in the light box.
~ balance of expressive creation, nurturing, and consuming others' 5,6: I don't feel consciously balanced but neither do i feel i'm completely out of balance. I "binge" a bit on the BBC police procedurals and Spooks/MI-5 (consuming without being aware), but i'm more flexible about what we watch it seems.
~ stay aware of joy and abundance1: Probably not so much, as i am more analytic about how am i feeling and what am i eating. But i do have moments when i stop and let myself be in the moment with the cats and with Christine. I am aware of how good things are for us -- so many old worries (and barriers) are no longer a concern.
~ awareness of transitions (joy/flow/meander) & use of mental/emotional bookmarking 1: Again, not as much as i'd like to be aware. I would very much like to push more into investigating my own "tides" and be able to recognize the appropriate things to do in the right seasons and tides of myself, so that i can have a sense of "getting things done" while not forcing the progress.
√ caring for skin, teeth, diet1:
~ exercise daily: 1 little itty bitty conceptual changes happening here
~ X evening check in; ~ weekly journal prompts; X monthly query: 1 I haven't journaled about the query in ages. The evening check in a ghost habit: i find myself wanting to "bookmark" the observations, but repulsed by the idea of "more computer." More from my phone -- but unfortunately the client doesn't allow cut tags.
~ weekly review of scattered todo notes: all I'm getting a little better at not scattering the notes & using my mind map and wall board. Still progress to be made in linking the things i want to do to the right times to do them
~ work walk break daily 1,4: little itty bitty conceptual changes happening here
- use "emotional hacks" like "not-care-less" to avoid paralysis: 1,4 This may be working brilliantly, but i think i also don't have the context for some of the fears that caused the paralysis.
~ ruthlessly delete cruft 1,4,6: Not as ruthless as i'd like to be. Wedding dress still in box in living room.
Aspects: 1. SELF 2. F&F 3. COM 4. WORK 5. CRT 6. HOME
This past week (plus) i've not had any high stress with work. The Project development team is on track and on time. Major bugs are being addressed with the Product. It's allowed me to take a sick day a week ago, take some vacation time on Wednesday (unplanned, i got distracted by thinking about membership in Friends), and for me to usually leave the office feeling a sense of "done." I hope that i can practice some discipline here: i feel like i have enough reservoir that i don't need to collapse to recover. This is so amazingly novel! Instead of having the adrenaline rush of pressure withdrawn and collapsing, i feel instead that i can continue to be motivated. It's great!
Have i been using those tools that i know make my life better? (Or that i'm experimenting with?)
I'm getting tired of the diet experiment, especially as i've been in a flare since the 14th. Bleh. The experiment will stop in November. I have asked for a colonoscopy appointment in the second week of November, and three days before the procedure i am advised to "Avoid eating nuts, seeds, popcorn, grapes, green peas, beans and tomatoes." Argh. (Fibers from collards and broccoli are fine though?) I will need eggs and dairy then, i think. Then there's holiday travel, and i don't want to draw my mother's attention to my complaints with my diet (she is traumatized enough by our pescitarian diet).
I have been keeping to only one pot of tea in the morning and drinking the herbal teas at work; and i'm also exploring chamomile as a relaxant when i feel the tension of the flare.
I do think that the bread-free diet is making a big difference in my sense of having a reserve, though. I don't know how well i can stay wheat free when i relax off the experiment, but i do intend to try and limit. I binged on spice drops this week: that's not helpful i'm sure.
It's the season to need more light, and i am doing a good job bathing in the light box.
~ balance of expressive creation, nurturing, and consuming others' 5,6: I don't feel consciously balanced but neither do i feel i'm completely out of balance. I "binge" a bit on the BBC police procedurals and Spooks/MI-5 (consuming without being aware), but i'm more flexible about what we watch it seems.
~ stay aware of joy and abundance1: Probably not so much, as i am more analytic about how am i feeling and what am i eating. But i do have moments when i stop and let myself be in the moment with the cats and with Christine. I am aware of how good things are for us -- so many old worries (and barriers) are no longer a concern.
~ awareness of transitions (joy/flow/meander) & use of mental/emotional bookmarking 1: Again, not as much as i'd like to be aware. I would very much like to push more into investigating my own "tides" and be able to recognize the appropriate things to do in the right seasons and tides of myself, so that i can have a sense of "getting things done" while not forcing the progress.
√ caring for skin, teeth, diet1:
~ exercise daily: 1 little itty bitty conceptual changes happening here
~ X evening check in; ~ weekly journal prompts; X monthly query: 1 I haven't journaled about the query in ages. The evening check in a ghost habit: i find myself wanting to "bookmark" the observations, but repulsed by the idea of "more computer." More from my phone -- but unfortunately the client doesn't allow cut tags.
~ weekly review of scattered todo notes: all I'm getting a little better at not scattering the notes & using my mind map and wall board. Still progress to be made in linking the things i want to do to the right times to do them
~ work walk break daily 1,4: little itty bitty conceptual changes happening here
- use "emotional hacks" like "not-care-less" to avoid paralysis: 1,4 This may be working brilliantly, but i think i also don't have the context for some of the fears that caused the paralysis.
~ ruthlessly delete cruft 1,4,6: Not as ruthless as i'd like to be. Wedding dress still in box in living room.
Aspects: 1. SELF 2. F&F 3. COM 4. WORK 5. CRT 6. HOME
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