![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
I ended up taking Friday off and resting.
Over the weekend i spent a great deal of time thinking about Meeting for business and wondering how i should start it off. Unlike the Pacific Yearly Meeting, there's no tradition here of twelve sets of queries that the Meeting considers in turn. The NC Conservative Yearly Meeting (Conservative in the sense that they kept to waiting worship and no "hireling priests" compared to the many other meetings that brought on preachers after the Civil War) has some queries but no "advices," and it is those "advices" that have good guides to the interplay between practice, intent, and values.
Sunday morning i ended up getting a couple Pendle Hill pamphlets out and then set on one[1] to use as my reading.
Sometimes i feel like my readings are too telegraphic, skimming over so much Quaker theory and i wonder how much sense i make. We have a good number of birthright friends born of birthright friends back to pre Revolutionary war folks, so people who have lived this branch of Friends' Quaker practice all their life. But this branch of Friends had preachers. This meeting got rid of their minister ten years ago or so, and by accepting a lesbian couple in their midst became one of the meetings that helped fracture the NC Yearly Meeting (FUM) into two parts, the part-that-ought-to-be-Baptist and the part that is more comfortable with Friends General Conference.
Well, opening Meeting for Business was not as i imagined as we spent over an hour -- fortunately we started early -- dealing with Zoom's outage. It was a little early for the US to care but we found news in the UK reporting Zoom's "partial" outage. Which meant Meeting for Business was much shorter than planned, and my readings occurred as Friends arrived, a little flustered, from the technical challenge of switching venues.
There was barely enough time to negotiate my proposal for quasi-committee meetings this week, which ended on an uncomfortable note regarding committees as defensive and agitated energy spilled out. I didn't handle it well because my energy was all spent in flail.
Anyhow, i've lined Quaker business up for myself for the next five weeks. And i'm just a little overwhelmed at the thought.
--== ∞ ==--
Enjoying the Pendle Hill pamphlets i decided it was time to invest in a subscription. I went ahead and subscribed for three years, and bought a handful of back issues as well. I think i am beginning to miss regular waiting worship: i haven't spent as much time weeding moss as i used to, and that offered me a good amount of silent reflective time.
--== ∞ ==--
I spent very little time outside on the theory the grass pollen might be agitating my lungs. I mowed a little Saturday evening: i was using the wheeled string trimmer to cut the high grasses at the highest setting while Christine cut the paths at a lower setting with the mower. I didn't agitate for a different mower setting because it isn't super hot yet and the forecast is for much much rain. I did chat with her about it, heard the belief that cutting short meant cutting less frequently, and tried to gently point out that it's not true.
Marlowe kitten is entertaining as she negotiates the varied heights of grass, disappearing into high clover, fumping down in the low paths. I left stands of blue-eyed grass, red clover (which is purple-pint), and budding coreopsis.
Our little clearing in the woods entertains me with its micro-climates. The north to south traverse seems very significant this spring for some flowers. The northern edge gets more sun than the southern shaded edge. Venus' looking glass is a lovely, small, violet, starry flower on a soft green stem punctuated by clasping leaves. Before the flowers, the stem looks a little weedy; i have to take care not to pull it out. It was blooming in the northern patches starting ... Thursday? More are now open, but the plant on the berm wasn't yet showing buds yesterday. The blue-eyed grass had the same roll out as i impatiently waited for the large clumps -- southern most plants -- to explode into bloom.
--== ∞ ==--
I am depressed to find the doctor called the landline Friday at 5:36 pm. I am used to everything coming via the online charting application, and assumed the e-visit request would slowly percolate through the system. Well, fie. I was thinking about him on Saturday evening with frustration, remembering his "you're really just fine," statement as i went over my health concerns. I've checked for doctors taking patients to replace him sporadically, but i also know he's never seen me in a flare.
Well, i have better energy this morning, i think, although finding myself so close to tears with the frustration (Ha, life without SSRIs! Feeeeelings!) leads me to wonder.
--== ∞ ==--
I actually have turnips this year. I am thinking that i might ought to harvest them all .... and possibly pickle them (lactoferment method). What spices, i wonder. Mustard seed and juniper, i wonder? Rosemary and turnip? I dunno. The one lactoferment recipe i saw had just red pepper flakes.
I've sprouted some fenugreek. I usually make red clover spouts but have a variety of sprouting seeds from a sale. They are now with good sized sprouts and a little bitter, but nothing to make me think of curry. I'll have them for lunch, with turnip greens. On the scale of bitter, i find them pleasant. I discovered a long steep of horehound, on the other hand, reached too bitter for me. It's blooming already. I don't think i'll be making candy soon, but it's on my list.
--== ∞ ==--
There is an equilibrium between the individual member and the meeting community, and if we try to separate them we find that each becomes unstable or nonsensical. The meeting has no existence except as it is made up of its individual members. At the same time, the idea of a solitary Quaker, isolated from meeting community, is equally problematic. The meeting and the individual Quaker need one another; they each exist only in this dynamic relation of mutual dependence.
The author goes on to discuss "images of membership," four different aspects of relating to Meeting as a member and the community. Acceptance, shared values, transformation and obedience are discussed. My interest was in how the spiritual practice and gift of obedience was discussed. The section on "Meeting as a Place of Obedience" opens with a quotation:
They go on
Obedience, in this sense, is the goal for the Meeting for Business as well. We as individuals relinquish control, trust in and attend to the Mystery, and let the Light guide us as a Meeting. The author notes a risk for Meetings that don't take obedience seriously:
I asked as queries to begin Meeting for Business
[1] Gates, Tom. “Members One of Another”: The Dynamics of Membership in Quaker Meeting. Pendle Hill Pamphlet 371. Wallingford, Pa.: Pendle Hill Publications, 2004.
Over the weekend i spent a great deal of time thinking about Meeting for business and wondering how i should start it off. Unlike the Pacific Yearly Meeting, there's no tradition here of twelve sets of queries that the Meeting considers in turn. The NC Conservative Yearly Meeting (Conservative in the sense that they kept to waiting worship and no "hireling priests" compared to the many other meetings that brought on preachers after the Civil War) has some queries but no "advices," and it is those "advices" that have good guides to the interplay between practice, intent, and values.
Sunday morning i ended up getting a couple Pendle Hill pamphlets out and then set on one[1] to use as my reading.
Sometimes i feel like my readings are too telegraphic, skimming over so much Quaker theory and i wonder how much sense i make. We have a good number of birthright friends born of birthright friends back to pre Revolutionary war folks, so people who have lived this branch of Friends' Quaker practice all their life. But this branch of Friends had preachers. This meeting got rid of their minister ten years ago or so, and by accepting a lesbian couple in their midst became one of the meetings that helped fracture the NC Yearly Meeting (FUM) into two parts, the part-that-ought-to-be-Baptist and the part that is more comfortable with Friends General Conference.
Well, opening Meeting for Business was not as i imagined as we spent over an hour -- fortunately we started early -- dealing with Zoom's outage. It was a little early for the US to care but we found news in the UK reporting Zoom's "partial" outage. Which meant Meeting for Business was much shorter than planned, and my readings occurred as Friends arrived, a little flustered, from the technical challenge of switching venues.
There was barely enough time to negotiate my proposal for quasi-committee meetings this week, which ended on an uncomfortable note regarding committees as defensive and agitated energy spilled out. I didn't handle it well because my energy was all spent in flail.
Anyhow, i've lined Quaker business up for myself for the next five weeks. And i'm just a little overwhelmed at the thought.
--== ∞ ==--
Enjoying the Pendle Hill pamphlets i decided it was time to invest in a subscription. I went ahead and subscribed for three years, and bought a handful of back issues as well. I think i am beginning to miss regular waiting worship: i haven't spent as much time weeding moss as i used to, and that offered me a good amount of silent reflective time.
--== ∞ ==--
I spent very little time outside on the theory the grass pollen might be agitating my lungs. I mowed a little Saturday evening: i was using the wheeled string trimmer to cut the high grasses at the highest setting while Christine cut the paths at a lower setting with the mower. I didn't agitate for a different mower setting because it isn't super hot yet and the forecast is for much much rain. I did chat with her about it, heard the belief that cutting short meant cutting less frequently, and tried to gently point out that it's not true.
Marlowe kitten is entertaining as she negotiates the varied heights of grass, disappearing into high clover, fumping down in the low paths. I left stands of blue-eyed grass, red clover (which is purple-pint), and budding coreopsis.
Our little clearing in the woods entertains me with its micro-climates. The north to south traverse seems very significant this spring for some flowers. The northern edge gets more sun than the southern shaded edge. Venus' looking glass is a lovely, small, violet, starry flower on a soft green stem punctuated by clasping leaves. Before the flowers, the stem looks a little weedy; i have to take care not to pull it out. It was blooming in the northern patches starting ... Thursday? More are now open, but the plant on the berm wasn't yet showing buds yesterday. The blue-eyed grass had the same roll out as i impatiently waited for the large clumps -- southern most plants -- to explode into bloom.
--== ∞ ==--
I am depressed to find the doctor called the landline Friday at 5:36 pm. I am used to everything coming via the online charting application, and assumed the e-visit request would slowly percolate through the system. Well, fie. I was thinking about him on Saturday evening with frustration, remembering his "you're really just fine," statement as i went over my health concerns. I've checked for doctors taking patients to replace him sporadically, but i also know he's never seen me in a flare.
Well, i have better energy this morning, i think, although finding myself so close to tears with the frustration (Ha, life without SSRIs! Feeeeelings!) leads me to wonder.
--== ∞ ==--
I actually have turnips this year. I am thinking that i might ought to harvest them all .... and possibly pickle them (lactoferment method). What spices, i wonder. Mustard seed and juniper, i wonder? Rosemary and turnip? I dunno. The one lactoferment recipe i saw had just red pepper flakes.
I've sprouted some fenugreek. I usually make red clover spouts but have a variety of sprouting seeds from a sale. They are now with good sized sprouts and a little bitter, but nothing to make me think of curry. I'll have them for lunch, with turnip greens. On the scale of bitter, i find them pleasant. I discovered a long steep of horehound, on the other hand, reached too bitter for me. It's blooming already. I don't think i'll be making candy soon, but it's on my list.
--== ∞ ==--
There is an equilibrium between the individual member and the meeting community, and if we try to separate them we find that each becomes unstable or nonsensical. The meeting has no existence except as it is made up of its individual members. At the same time, the idea of a solitary Quaker, isolated from meeting community, is equally problematic. The meeting and the individual Quaker need one another; they each exist only in this dynamic relation of mutual dependence.
The author goes on to discuss "images of membership," four different aspects of relating to Meeting as a member and the community. Acceptance, shared values, transformation and obedience are discussed. My interest was in how the spiritual practice and gift of obedience was discussed. The section on "Meeting as a Place of Obedience" opens with a quotation:
[The end of this process]... is to produce a type of character which is probably the chief enrichment of Christianity hiterto made by Quakerism, the man or woman who goes through life endeavoring to decide every question as it arises, not by passion or prejudice, nor mainly by the conclusions of human reason, but chiefly by reference to the light of God that shines in the prepared soul. - William C Braithwaite
They go on
Although "obedience" is one traditional word that has been used to describe this state, the term is open to misunderstanding because it can connote an acquiescence to some external authority or code of behavior. In the sense I am using it, obedience conveys a willingness, a surrender, an openness to the presence of God in our lives. It involves relinquishing of control, a trust in and attentiveness to the living presence of the Mystery. Like falling asleep or falling in love, obedience is not something we accomplish, but something we can only allow to happen. It is something we receive as a gift: grace. In traditional understanding, obedience can only occur when we get our selves out of the way.
Obedience, in this sense, is the goal for the Meeting for Business as well. We as individuals relinquish control, trust in and attend to the Mystery, and let the Light guide us as a Meeting. The author notes a risk for Meetings that don't take obedience seriously:
...our meetings don't take it seriously enough, such that we do not actively discuss, encourage, and nurture it. If a state of obedience is truly the enda and goal of our spiritual lives, then we must not fail to uphold it as such, even to those members who are still far from it, for how else will we know to aspire to it? If we do not provide a vision of "the fullness of membership." then how will any grow into that fullness?
I asked as queries to begin Meeting for Business
What is my understanding of the interplay between Meeting for Business and my spiritual development?
Can I engage with Quaker Practice as both a noun and verb: practice as a body of knowledge and practice the repetition of an action in order to become fluent and easy?
[1] Gates, Tom. “Members One of Another”: The Dynamics of Membership in Quaker Meeting. Pendle Hill Pamphlet 371. Wallingford, Pa.: Pendle Hill Publications, 2004.
Tags:
no subject