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Yesterday was weird -- there were many instances of not wanting to commit. Emails unfinished, journal entry unfinished.
My Dad was in surgery for his eye. It ran longer as they found more things wrong. Some issue with his retina, some "bad" vitreous humor, the old lens removed and completely replaced with new sutures. It ran a good deal longer than expected: my sister was at the hospital because my mother is still recovering from pneumonia. She's blaming the doctors for giving her the wrong antibiotics in the first place -- however, she did feel better for a while, so i'm going with everyone else's assessment that she didn't rest long enough to recuperate.
I am continuing to balance doing with the asthma flare. I have a sneaking suspicion that i may still be sick. The cough is still somewhat productive. I may go back to the doctor if it remains a productive cough.... I *AM* taking it easy though, damnit.
Y042 prep-wishing
From Waverly Fitzgerald' New Year's Dreams Workbook (p 4-7)
0. time
that i make time for creating,
that i learn how to both rest and renew in the evening while engaging in a project
that i find a way to see people socially yet not be drained
1. SELF
that i learn to manage my to-dos
that i continue to practice -- and grow in practice -- of the fine balance of engagement without attachment
that maybe -- scary wish -- i learn how to share the lessons i've learned for me to others
2. F&F
that i can communicate authentically
that i can find ways to let others support me
that i can more intentionally and honestly practice keeping folks in mind
3. COM
that i can find a right way to pass on the library work
that i can find a good balance with the oversight work
that i can keep the creek in mylife somehow
4. WORK
that after L's retirement that we can all come together as a more unified team
that i can both be satisfied by staying yet get to where i believe if i left i could find similarly rewarding and respect filled position
that i can learn to delegate gently
5. CRT
that i find a way to dye without it being a threeday weekend production
that i find a way to also collage and paint and photograph
that i may hear from others that my creativity does communicate something, that they see me when i share
6. HOME
that the hall is made orderly
that the carpets are deep cleaned
that we find a happy comfort
// Do i really want to engage in *this* exercise? Listing unfinished and unstarted seems like a recipe for overwhelm. Giving myself two minutes. //
UNFINISHED
cinnabar sweater
dyeing
christine's mittens
yule notes
genealogy (is this ever done?)
torso painting
whale photos
menchanicrawl photos
lassen photos -- and maps
georgia maps
UNSTARTED
cartography with ortellius
writing publicly about worship lessons
// Keeping the following short, too. Eight minutes //
ponder these questions posed by Dawna Markova after reading a sentence by Rachel
Naomi Remen which read “We are not broken, we are just unfinished.”
What’s unfinished for me to give?
some part of connecting to others - -this is why i am in Meeting. Somehow, someway learn how i can be part of making the world a beautiful vibrant space. I do trust that Meeting is the place to learn this. That is the practice
What’s unfinished for me to heal?
Dissertation?
I've made so much movement in healing my mind and heart -- it is not finished, and my physical health seems to be a place where i have continued to keep from engaging: my relationship with movement.
What’s unfinished for me to learn?
Laugh! Oh, to share fearlessly, when the part of me that is vibrant and alive is around -- doesn't feel like that right now, sick. There's something about the fearlessness, and sharing to be in balance with the engagement without attachment.
I believe my journey in life is rich and transformative: i don't know if my voice is missing: do i have things to share from my journey to help others. Is broadcast -- even just to the meeting -- ministry in worship - -a call?
What’s unfinished for me to experience?
I continue to be interested in the landscape of the west, the dream of a small farm where i care for plants and christine cares for critters. There are experiences with Christine i want to share -- dependencies on her journey. I have dreams of connection with my nephews and niece, of my brother and sister.
My Dad was in surgery for his eye. It ran longer as they found more things wrong. Some issue with his retina, some "bad" vitreous humor, the old lens removed and completely replaced with new sutures. It ran a good deal longer than expected: my sister was at the hospital because my mother is still recovering from pneumonia. She's blaming the doctors for giving her the wrong antibiotics in the first place -- however, she did feel better for a while, so i'm going with everyone else's assessment that she didn't rest long enough to recuperate.
I am continuing to balance doing with the asthma flare. I have a sneaking suspicion that i may still be sick. The cough is still somewhat productive. I may go back to the doctor if it remains a productive cough.... I *AM* taking it easy though, damnit.
Y042 prep-wishing
From Waverly Fitzgerald' New Year's Dreams Workbook (p 4-7)
0. time
that i make time for creating,
that i learn how to both rest and renew in the evening while engaging in a project
that i find a way to see people socially yet not be drained
1. SELF
that i learn to manage my to-dos
that i continue to practice -- and grow in practice -- of the fine balance of engagement without attachment
that maybe -- scary wish -- i learn how to share the lessons i've learned for me to others
2. F&F
that i can communicate authentically
that i can find ways to let others support me
that i can more intentionally and honestly practice keeping folks in mind
3. COM
that i can find a right way to pass on the library work
that i can find a good balance with the oversight work
that i can keep the creek in mylife somehow
4. WORK
that after L's retirement that we can all come together as a more unified team
that i can both be satisfied by staying yet get to where i believe if i left i could find similarly rewarding and respect filled position
that i can learn to delegate gently
5. CRT
that i find a way to dye without it being a threeday weekend production
that i find a way to also collage and paint and photograph
that i may hear from others that my creativity does communicate something, that they see me when i share
6. HOME
that the hall is made orderly
that the carpets are deep cleaned
that we find a happy comfort
// Do i really want to engage in *this* exercise? Listing unfinished and unstarted seems like a recipe for overwhelm. Giving myself two minutes. //
UNFINISHED
cinnabar sweater
dyeing
christine's mittens
yule notes
genealogy (is this ever done?)
torso painting
whale photos
menchanicrawl photos
lassen photos -- and maps
georgia maps
UNSTARTED
cartography with ortellius
writing publicly about worship lessons
// Keeping the following short, too. Eight minutes //
ponder these questions posed by Dawna Markova after reading a sentence by Rachel
Naomi Remen which read “We are not broken, we are just unfinished.”
What’s unfinished for me to give?
some part of connecting to others - -this is why i am in Meeting. Somehow, someway learn how i can be part of making the world a beautiful vibrant space. I do trust that Meeting is the place to learn this. That is the practice
What’s unfinished for me to heal?
Dissertation?
I've made so much movement in healing my mind and heart -- it is not finished, and my physical health seems to be a place where i have continued to keep from engaging: my relationship with movement.
What’s unfinished for me to learn?
Laugh! Oh, to share fearlessly, when the part of me that is vibrant and alive is around -- doesn't feel like that right now, sick. There's something about the fearlessness, and sharing to be in balance with the engagement without attachment.
I believe my journey in life is rich and transformative: i don't know if my voice is missing: do i have things to share from my journey to help others. Is broadcast -- even just to the meeting -- ministry in worship - -a call?
What’s unfinished for me to experience?
I continue to be interested in the landscape of the west, the dream of a small farm where i care for plants and christine cares for critters. There are experiences with Christine i want to share -- dependencies on her journey. I have dreams of connection with my nephews and niece, of my brother and sister.
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