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PREVIOUSLY: http://elainegrey.livejournal.com/tag/new+year%27s+dreams
PREVIOUSLY: http://elainegrey.livejournal.com/tag/new+year%27s+dreams
Y042 prep-wishing
From Waverly Fitzgerald' New Year's Dreams Workbook (p
What would I do if I absolutely knew it would succeed?
Or, another way to look at it:
What would I do if I knew I could not fail?
//gave self five minutes//
I'd answer these questions. No, that's not meant to be smart-assed, it's just i can't shape a frame.... I guess there are two contradictory answers though that don't quite meet my understanding of success and fail: i'd find a way to support us that was more independent -- some years ago the idea of being a consultant for two weeks a month and then creating a week and then giving/serving a week came to mind. I currently have issues with that vision, but it's a sense of possibility.
I wonder if i could frame my work months like that i have times when i'm productive, giving an intensity, but then there's time when i am defocussed. Can i come up with an intentional surge and flow over weeks?
//Time up and i think that's a reasonable answer.//
"Wishes can be qualities you want to bring into your life. Recently, I’ve been framing my visions for the new year as themes, rather than goals."
Perhaps a motto instead of a single word theme. Edited from last week's writing: "In balance, engaging without attachment. "
"Look back over the wishes you wished on previous pages. Are any of them vague or abstract? Try making a few vague wishes more specific so you (or someone else) could clearly identify the moment your wish was fulfilled. "
Most are vague and abstract.
0. time
Creating is continuous. How do i know when i've "made time?"
I think the second *might* be measurable if i wanted to try and track whether an evening was spent piddling about or engaged in some things. My worry is that engagement like i get with the genealogy and other projects is deep and, while renewing, it blocks out so much else that needs to be done. It's an escape from responsibilities. So there's a balance in being able to stop and know i might return to the task in time.
While i feel tempted to say i have too much on my plate, i believe that even if i were just trying to keep the apartment up, and had no meeting responsibilities, no work, nothing else, i could make it a single overwhelming project. I believe the overwhelm is in my mind. //five minutes, next topic.//
1.SELF
The "sharing lessons" wish has far more to do with ministry and spiritual practice than it does much else. Oddly, i was presented a chance to share *experience* early last week.
I know there's a spiritual practice to be bound up in this minutiae management, in tracking the (stupid) to-dos. I have a calendar experiment going on at the moment, where i am using the corporate calendar that has not much room per day to scribble what might have been on post-its in previous years. It at least keeps things together with a date.
Concrete? Well, i ask myself about whether i'm feeling i keep up every week. Maybe there's something in that to measure: that i feel like i have a practice that lets me keep the todos and avoid (a) the overwhelm and (b) the experience i had when i had a unified system in the late 90's early 00's -- over an HOUR caring just for the system and nothing getting done. //Five minutes//
2. F&F
I freaked out about this this week, i think. I think i *do* communicate authentically when i communicate, but often i feel i'm supposed to communicate *more* and that blocks me. Perhaps i set the expectations too high -- perhaps? You Think?! -- i set an expectation that i will connect center to center with others, that i want to leave that channel open -- and that's got to be draining. But the habits of many of my relationships, particularly with family, extended family, is not center to center, listening and connecting.
I think the "keeping folks in mind" practice is the real rhythm thing for me. This links up to the to-dos, links to overwhelm and engagement -- i am realizing how visual i am, it's both a focus blessing and a curse. Put something in front of me, i focus, hide it, i forget.
How do i get that reminder in front of me? //five//
3. COM & 4. WORK
These wishes get more concrete, but less important. The most important is how i manage the team and my boss after my colleague retires.
Socially, i would *like* the team to all be present, and it's tempting to say staff churn is a reasonable measure. If folks leave, i didn't keep them. On the other hand there are folks who might leave and the rehire work better -- but that's going to start leading to a NEW vs OLD dynamic. Let's say *one person* retiring or moving on would be OK, keeping the "new" folks. Unified or cohesive?
5. CRT
Projects projects projects!
This is my fun! I don't want to get in measurable, goal driven work here! I want to find ways that i can have my UFOs around and pleasantly available for when i want to engage with them, but not cluttering. Dyeing was *fun* but the lifetime of dye, the mixing of chemicals, then the prep of things -- that got to be a bit of a production. Dyeing does require a bit of planning.
And it requires the deck to be clean, which has now reached a One Whole Day sort of filth level.
So, i'm punting here. The wish about "hearing from others" is more of that center-to-center wish, but i'm not clear that wish is tied to something i want to set expectations around.
6. HOME
I think the Carpet cleaning -> Ordered Hall is a concrete goal we can hit by May, but perhaps August is a better target. The big issues that it will take some decluttering for Christine.
I wonder if getting a storage unit for a month would be reasonable? This is going to take talking with Christine alot about stuff to work through, and i think we will need gaps of time for reflection.
And this is pretty concrete.
UNFINISHED
All i want to finish are Christine's mittens which i can finish before Y042 begins. Oh, and yule notes. In Y042, i'd like the cinnabar sweater to have a chance.
//five minutes -- i'll just read through the last things to see what jumps out//
Movement jumps out. I have the singing lessons (which is a type of movement for me, go figure).
Bicycling to Meeting three times a week and using the singing lessons twice a week in the car?
Wishes are like tender buds. You don’t want to
expose them to frost or cold winds too soon.
Keep them safe. Don’t reveal them to anyone
yet.
Too Late!!
p 13, life time of wishes: While it is in some ways anxiety producing, i find myself believing that other than responsibly setting aside money for "retirement" (aka, caring for our household when we are too frail to work), i don't have the information needed. My goal is to become more resilient, more efficient, so that as aging affects the fundamental structure of my physical body i can rely on the good habits. If anything, i worry that i have not recovered the physical fitness i had by default walking around in Philly.
"If you only had three priorities, what would they be?" Work***, home and self*, Meeting**.
* This could be so many priorities it would be to laugh.
** At the moment, this seems the right *place* to invest the more fundamental priority to be in community and serve.
*** This more an end to meet other priorities: fiscally supporting home and self, engaging in community and service, engaging in ways to express and engage myself. I do think the work we do, supporting libraries, supports a better world.
Sorting for Seven (p 15)
//Looks at categories 0-6. Counts on fingers. Reads the elaborate example titles given//
Sacred Space = 6 Home
Creative Expression = 5. CRT
Treating Myself Like a Precious Object = 1. Self
Do i need expressive poetic terms for these dimensions? I am not a noun person. I could care less what the labels are. (Do not ask me to join your marketing team.)
PREVIOUSLY: http://elainegrey.livejournal.com/tag/new+year%27s+dreams
Y042 prep-wishing
From Waverly Fitzgerald' New Year's Dreams Workbook (p
What would I do if I absolutely knew it would succeed?
Or, another way to look at it:
What would I do if I knew I could not fail?
//gave self five minutes//
I'd answer these questions. No, that's not meant to be smart-assed, it's just i can't shape a frame.... I guess there are two contradictory answers though that don't quite meet my understanding of success and fail: i'd find a way to support us that was more independent -- some years ago the idea of being a consultant for two weeks a month and then creating a week and then giving/serving a week came to mind. I currently have issues with that vision, but it's a sense of possibility.
I wonder if i could frame my work months like that i have times when i'm productive, giving an intensity, but then there's time when i am defocussed. Can i come up with an intentional surge and flow over weeks?
//Time up and i think that's a reasonable answer.//
"Wishes can be qualities you want to bring into your life. Recently, I’ve been framing my visions for the new year as themes, rather than goals."
Perhaps a motto instead of a single word theme. Edited from last week's writing: "In balance, engaging without attachment. "
"Look back over the wishes you wished on previous pages. Are any of them vague or abstract? Try making a few vague wishes more specific so you (or someone else) could clearly identify the moment your wish was fulfilled. "
Most are vague and abstract.
0. time
Creating is continuous. How do i know when i've "made time?"
I think the second *might* be measurable if i wanted to try and track whether an evening was spent piddling about or engaged in some things. My worry is that engagement like i get with the genealogy and other projects is deep and, while renewing, it blocks out so much else that needs to be done. It's an escape from responsibilities. So there's a balance in being able to stop and know i might return to the task in time.
While i feel tempted to say i have too much on my plate, i believe that even if i were just trying to keep the apartment up, and had no meeting responsibilities, no work, nothing else, i could make it a single overwhelming project. I believe the overwhelm is in my mind. //five minutes, next topic.//
1.SELF
The "sharing lessons" wish has far more to do with ministry and spiritual practice than it does much else. Oddly, i was presented a chance to share *experience* early last week.
I know there's a spiritual practice to be bound up in this minutiae management, in tracking the (stupid) to-dos. I have a calendar experiment going on at the moment, where i am using the corporate calendar that has not much room per day to scribble what might have been on post-its in previous years. It at least keeps things together with a date.
Concrete? Well, i ask myself about whether i'm feeling i keep up every week. Maybe there's something in that to measure: that i feel like i have a practice that lets me keep the todos and avoid (a) the overwhelm and (b) the experience i had when i had a unified system in the late 90's early 00's -- over an HOUR caring just for the system and nothing getting done. //Five minutes//
2. F&F
I freaked out about this this week, i think. I think i *do* communicate authentically when i communicate, but often i feel i'm supposed to communicate *more* and that blocks me. Perhaps i set the expectations too high -- perhaps? You Think?! -- i set an expectation that i will connect center to center with others, that i want to leave that channel open -- and that's got to be draining. But the habits of many of my relationships, particularly with family, extended family, is not center to center, listening and connecting.
I think the "keeping folks in mind" practice is the real rhythm thing for me. This links up to the to-dos, links to overwhelm and engagement -- i am realizing how visual i am, it's both a focus blessing and a curse. Put something in front of me, i focus, hide it, i forget.
How do i get that reminder in front of me? //five//
3. COM & 4. WORK
These wishes get more concrete, but less important. The most important is how i manage the team and my boss after my colleague retires.
Socially, i would *like* the team to all be present, and it's tempting to say staff churn is a reasonable measure. If folks leave, i didn't keep them. On the other hand there are folks who might leave and the rehire work better -- but that's going to start leading to a NEW vs OLD dynamic. Let's say *one person* retiring or moving on would be OK, keeping the "new" folks. Unified or cohesive?
5. CRT
Projects projects projects!
This is my fun! I don't want to get in measurable, goal driven work here! I want to find ways that i can have my UFOs around and pleasantly available for when i want to engage with them, but not cluttering. Dyeing was *fun* but the lifetime of dye, the mixing of chemicals, then the prep of things -- that got to be a bit of a production. Dyeing does require a bit of planning.
And it requires the deck to be clean, which has now reached a One Whole Day sort of filth level.
So, i'm punting here. The wish about "hearing from others" is more of that center-to-center wish, but i'm not clear that wish is tied to something i want to set expectations around.
6. HOME
I think the Carpet cleaning -> Ordered Hall is a concrete goal we can hit by May, but perhaps August is a better target. The big issues that it will take some decluttering for Christine.
I wonder if getting a storage unit for a month would be reasonable? This is going to take talking with Christine alot about stuff to work through, and i think we will need gaps of time for reflection.
And this is pretty concrete.
UNFINISHED
All i want to finish are Christine's mittens which i can finish before Y042 begins. Oh, and yule notes. In Y042, i'd like the cinnabar sweater to have a chance.
//five minutes -- i'll just read through the last things to see what jumps out//
Movement jumps out. I have the singing lessons (which is a type of movement for me, go figure).
Bicycling to Meeting three times a week and using the singing lessons twice a week in the car?
Wishes are like tender buds. You don’t want to
expose them to frost or cold winds too soon.
Keep them safe. Don’t reveal them to anyone
yet.
Too Late!!
p 13, life time of wishes: While it is in some ways anxiety producing, i find myself believing that other than responsibly setting aside money for "retirement" (aka, caring for our household when we are too frail to work), i don't have the information needed. My goal is to become more resilient, more efficient, so that as aging affects the fundamental structure of my physical body i can rely on the good habits. If anything, i worry that i have not recovered the physical fitness i had by default walking around in Philly.
"If you only had three priorities, what would they be?" Work***, home and self*, Meeting**.
* This could be so many priorities it would be to laugh.
** At the moment, this seems the right *place* to invest the more fundamental priority to be in community and serve.
*** This more an end to meet other priorities: fiscally supporting home and self, engaging in community and service, engaging in ways to express and engage myself. I do think the work we do, supporting libraries, supports a better world.
Sorting for Seven (p 15)
//Looks at categories 0-6. Counts on fingers. Reads the elaborate example titles given//
Sacred Space = 6 Home
Creative Expression = 5. CRT
Treating Myself Like a Precious Object = 1. Self
Do i need expressive poetic terms for these dimensions? I am not a noun person. I could care less what the labels are. (Do not ask me to join your marketing team.)
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