Mutual care thoughts

[elainegrey]

I'm continuing to think about https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSejOaU3pjaAELZ3ai032ubt24GYTEsDRw3F4zBd95N2-Vh2wA/viewform and https://annehelen.substack.com/p/a-shortcut-for-caring-for-others -- a care guide for one's self.

I'm thinking of a list of conditions that have prompted wanting to care, and i'm pondering an ontology:

It seems there might be four sorts of social bonding and care responses, that can be prompted by wanting to respond to someone's need or can simply be motivated by care:

"Thinking of you" - a communication that should not demand any reciprocal response

"Want to communicate with you" -- minimally an asynchronous exchange

"Want to spend time with you" -- a need to schedule a compatible time for synchronous connection

"Want to care for you" -- gift giving, other efforts to provide ease



"Thinking of you" and "Want to communicate with you" -- for the Dreamwidth/LiveJournal communities, this begins with "comment on a recent post" to DMs to contact via messaging services (or Facebook, Twitter) or text message or postal mail. There's a spectrum of trust in contact points. I'm pondering how a community form could be structured to help with communicating communication channels when there is varying levels of trust.

I think all of these have some element that work for distributed, internet mediated communities and a spectrum of trust. But. But. Here are some questions....

Poll #28579 Care form questions

This poll is anonymous.
Open to: Registered Users, detailed results viewable to: Just the Poll Creator, participants: 5

My trust and privacy needs when it comes to communication channels

varies person to person, and could not be captured in a form
3 (60.0%)

is about the same for all on my "access list" or a "custom filter"
3 (60.0%)

i am happy to volunteer i like text messages and then ignore someone's request for my phone number if i don't want the requestor to have that contact
2 (40.0%)

i am happy to volunteer i like postal mail and then ignore someone's request for my address if i don't want the requestor to know where i live
1 (20.0%)

frustrates me that others can be so trusting and my need for safety makes me seem different
2 (40.0%)

is not something i want to broadcast openly
2 (40.0%)

is not something i want to broadcast to my "access list" or a "custom filter"
1 (20.0%)

requires mutuality from the other person, i will share only if they share with me
1 (20.0%)

allows me to volunteer them to others
2 (40.0%)

i don't mind people asking if i have out of band preferences, and having a complete form response would be nice
1 (20.0%)

My 225 char annoymous comment on sharing communication channels

Comments

[dewline]

If I seem self-contradictory in my choice of ticked boxes, so be it.

[elainegrey]

We contain multitudes and privacy and trust is complicated.

[cmcmck]

Given my background, trust and privacy are rather complex things.

[elainegrey]

I understand this!