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Wow, gap.
I've been documenting some of the gap in a "Noteshelf" journal. It's an app that i started using on the iPad as a handwritten notebook app (and was one of the few things i used the iPad for), but i now mainly use on the laptop to create scrapbooks pulling in digital ephemera and photos from family chats and whatnot.
Sunday Nov 12: at my sister's with my dad & brother for lunch; a break and then out to eat with my dad, brother, and Christine.
Monday: attended one work meeting, then out on Dad's boat with sister, her spouse, their dogs, my Dad and brother. Beautiful day for it. Just a slight chill.
Tuesday: Sister called in a state because brother was throwing his Florida based son at her for Thanksgiving without asking about her plans. I concurred that brother was out of line (so out of line), and she called him. She let me know later:
His son Z is 20 so probably capable of making some decisions and communicating, although no evidence for that observed.
It was nice seeing my brother; we won't see his family until next summer. But his arrival highlights dysfunctions. In good news, Dad actually thought in advance to propose a boat outing, so that was novel and to celebrate.
And while it was nice, it wasn't deep at all. My brother did engage with my niece, but at the same time i could see my dad not paying attention (because it wasn't about him). My brother did not engage with my sister and i; we assume he and Dad must have had some good talks. Or maybe they just traded stories.
Both my sister and i have been a little peeved with Dad for his self-centeredness but there have been a few little signals of thoughtfulness. I celebrate those.
I've been documenting some of the gap in a "Noteshelf" journal. It's an app that i started using on the iPad as a handwritten notebook app (and was one of the few things i used the iPad for), but i now mainly use on the laptop to create scrapbooks pulling in digital ephemera and photos from family chats and whatnot.
Sunday Nov 12: at my sister's with my dad & brother for lunch; a break and then out to eat with my dad, brother, and Christine.
Monday: attended one work meeting, then out on Dad's boat with sister, her spouse, their dogs, my Dad and brother. Beautiful day for it. Just a slight chill.
Tuesday: Sister called in a state because brother was throwing his Florida based son at her for Thanksgiving without asking about her plans. I concurred that brother was out of line (so out of line), and she called him. She let me know later:
Talked to N-- and dad. Dad had nothing to do with encouraging… just didn’t stop it either. I told him it would be good if we all start collectively demanding pre-planning and reject dumps [of visits where all responsibility is placed on the people being visited to adapt to whatever].
N--- apologized for his “typical N--- blunder”. I believe the visit has halted altogether. Told him we’d welcome Z--- with planning ahead of time
His son Z is 20 so probably capable of making some decisions and communicating, although no evidence for that observed.
It was nice seeing my brother; we won't see his family until next summer. But his arrival highlights dysfunctions. In good news, Dad actually thought in advance to propose a boat outing, so that was novel and to celebrate.
And while it was nice, it wasn't deep at all. My brother did engage with my niece, but at the same time i could see my dad not paying attention (because it wasn't about him). My brother did not engage with my sister and i; we assume he and Dad must have had some good talks. Or maybe they just traded stories.
Both my sister and i have been a little peeved with Dad for his self-centeredness but there have been a few little signals of thoughtfulness. I celebrate those.
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