Updates (morning writing, f&f)

[elainegrey]

Week flying by.

Christine's brother in law was in very critical condition Sunday, his sister, cousin-who-is-like-a-brother, son and wife all came to town. He's stabilized and in a normal room now. Whew.

My brother and his children D-- and S--- arrived in NC via a red-eye yesterday; we had lunch out together.

I've had two end of workdays where i was filled with a dark negative mod. Tuesday had a rare G&T and read  N. Novik's Uprooted<\i>. Excellent story telling. Wednesday is grocery night, so that expanded to fill the whole. I'm sure it's negative thoughts at work. Compassion for myself is the antidote. Perhaps i can see my way to recognizing i don't need to spiral into more self critical thoughts by suggesting i'm failing at that.

This afternoon looks like a long rain, which frees me from trying to decide if i should go to W--'s graduation (no room for extended family at the rain venue). It also liberates me from almost all yard work -- i could put the new blade on the mower. Depending, i could go rescue S-- from her working father, her studying brother, and her granddad. Maybe go play poker with her and her grand dad? We could bring a pizza over? I dunno.

Hummingbird at the hummingbird mint on the deck railing. (Awareness of my carelessness in enticing them even more into the predators reach strikes hard.)

Comments

[amaebi]

Re: hummingbird: We are all menaces, though.

May you be less of a menace to your beloved self.

[elainegrey]

Thank you for the balance and the blessing. I'll try and hold the lightness and alertness of the hummingbird in mind today and flit from judging myself.

[amaebi]

I just thought of a paradigm change that might be natural to you as a serious gardener. One that works for me, though I adopted it happenstancially and only became aware of it in the past five years or so. Would you like to hear it?

[elainegrey]

Yes, thank you!

[amaebi]

TL;DR: Forward, not back.

Blame looks backward, largely pointlessly. Wherever you are, there you *are*: you can focus on where to go, moving forward, and ways and means to do so. The more step-by-step the better, in my experience, taking into account that Stuff Happens and plans change for those and other reasons.

Works well for me, anyway.